Pete's Pervy Pranks

Pete loved a good prank. His love of pranks had started years ago with his first whoopie cushion and had only grown from there. He made sure to keep his pranks lighthearted and funny, and to only target people who knew would appreciate it, primarily the other guys in his frat. He knew it was all too easy to cross the line from funny to mean.

If he was honest though it wasn’t his sense of decency that kept him on everyone’s good side, it was just the knowledge of what happened when he pushed people too far. When he was younger he’d ended up pushing away a lot of friends because of pranks gone wrong and he hated that feeling of social isolation. He’d done his best to learn how to be funny, without letting things get out of hand.

That’s why when Paul took a sip of coffee the other day only to find it was actually water and food colouring, Pete had been there to hand him his favourite drink from Starbucks right after. Or when Tommy took a shower and only realized after there had been hair dye in his shampoo, Pete quickly explained it was wash out and Tommy’s girlfriend had secretly wanted to see what he’d look like in a new colour. He always tried to mitigate the damage he did, but even still there was a reason why he lived at the frat and had few friends outside of it. Most people simply did not enjoy pranks of any kind.

Still Pete was happy enough with how things were going and just because he tried to restrain himself didn’t mean he stopped thinking up ideas or looking for new things to try. So when he was walking home from class one day and saw a new store, he just had to go inside.

He’d never heard of Celestial Delights, but something about it just called to him. He entered and started looking around, it had all kinds of weird stuff. Some things had descriptions and some didn’t, but none of them made any sense. He was tempted to buy some stuff just for fun when he suddenly noticed someone standing right beside him.

He jumped, “Whoa, when did you get here?”

She smiled and licked her lips, “My my, you have a good eye for causing trouble don’t you?” She said, not answering his question, “Welcome to Celestial Delights. In case you are wondering, yes, all of what you’ve read is real. This really is a magic shop. We can sell you anything you desire. Tell me boy, what do you desire?”

There was something about her, she looked like what he expected a witch to look like, except maybe younger and hotter. For some reason he felt compelled to take her seriously, “Um...well…”

“Don’t be shy Pete, tell me everything.” She giggled.

“Wait, you know my name? How?”

“I’ve already told you. Magic. Duh.”

Ok, this was getting pretty weird, but still, he felt he had to answer, “I want to mess with people. I don’t want to hold back, I just want to do whatever I feel like. I want to prank them and ruin their lives.” Pete finally said.

“Ruin their lives? My dear that goes well beyond any definition of prank I’ve ever heard…still, I think I can help you. In fact I want to make you a very special deal, follow me.” She turned and walked towards the counter. Helplessly he followed her.

She reached behind the counter and pulled out a large bag, “Take this,” She told him, “My gift to you. I’ve put all sorts of odds and ends in here for your enjoyment. The deal is this, I’m not going to tell you what anything actually does, and you won’t be able to return to this shop until you’ve used them all up. How does that sound?”

Pete took the bag and opened it. Just from looking he couldn’t tell what anything was, but something told him he could have a lot of fun with this bag, “Sure lady, you’ve got a deal.”

“My name is Vivi, Mistress Vivi to you.”

Mistress? What a weirdo, “Fine. Thanks, Mistress Vivi.” He took the bag and slowly backed away. She gave him a little wave and he turned and left the store. He brought the bag all the way back home before opening it up and checking out the contents.