Only Maria

You finally decide to just enter Maria as your one and only "current intimacy partner." The possibilities of two or three women do seem intriguing, but you're reasonably satisfied with your life with Maria already -- and you can't help thinking that this character creation screen may be sending its data off to someone at your company. The last thing you'd need would be one of your co-workers finding out who you have a crush on at the office!

You type "Maria Lehon," take a quick look at the rest of your answers, and finally click the "Continue" button that had been grayed out until you started editing your stats.

A warning box pops up. "Satisfaction with Life rating 9 will require changes to be made to Current Intimacy Partner Maria Lehon including but not limited to Higher Sex Drive, Larger Breasts, Body Hair Removal. If changes are not desired, Satisfaction with Life rating will be 8." There are two buttons at the bottom of the box: "Alter Partner" and "Lower Rating."

Now things seem really odd. It's almost as if the program knows the major things you wish were different about your girlfriend: you wish you had more to play with (and look at) than her current A-cups; and although she usually keeps the hair between her legs neatly trimmed, you really like the bald look, but she's refused to wax or even completely shave. Also, of course, if she had a sex drive that matched yours, so that you could get laid whenever you were in the mood, that would be --

You catch yourself and chuckle inwardly. This thing was probably programmed by one of your friends at work. That's how it knew Maria's name to begin with. They probably sent it to a lot of people, and they're gonna laugh about everyone's answers when they see them on Monday. Hell, they're probably expecting all the guys to say they want their girlfriends or wives to have bigger tits and a higher sex drive. And even the guys who like pubic hair wouldn't want a forest, right?

Although if you did choose to lower your rating and not alter Maria, and that answer got back to her, it would probably be good for a few relationship karma points.

You hover over both "Alter Partner" and "Lower Rating," and finally...