Okay, this is getting a bit annoying

She might not be a mouse, but the level of vandalism was getting a bit disproportionate—and a little annoying—and it might get worse. Despite feeling a bit tired, you go into action.

Time to set up a trap, but of course as humane a trap as possible.

You spend a few hours sealing every hole in your house and using fine stainless steel mesh on the vents. You also do quick cursory checks for hidden entries—this thing might have human intelligence, or something like it.

Next you construct a tunnel of sorts made from ducting material you got at a hardware store and secure it at what looks likes the main, perhaps only, entrance she was using.

The tunnel is about 1.25 meters (about 4 feet) long, 12 x 10 cm (about 5 x 4 inches) wide and high.

The other end is vented, though also with fine mesh, which is near where the trap is. You've baited the trap with honey and nuts (high sugar and fat - perfect for a small mammal's metabolism), both as a lure and something she can have until you retrieve her. You also put a little near the opening to tempt her. She can eat it without getting trapped, and then with less fear, maybe go further in the tunnel.

You also put a small heater near the trap and insulate it, as you intend to chill down the whole house —wear a few jackets for a while, as well as forgo lighting fires. Out of curiosity you sprinkle flour around the low trafficked places where footprints might be left. You thought of using adhesives, but her feet, be they human-like or mouse, might be bare and you don't want to hurt or scare her too badly.

As for the garden, you're thinking of sprinkling blood meal—as you heard deer hate such and is advised as a repellent, but you instead settle for moth balls and a soaking of ammonia. You figure it won't hurt the plants—indeed, it might act as a fertilizer, but it will certainly smell things up.

Next, you need a cage. You get an terrarium with screening and entrance for secure removal or putting in.

All that's left to do is wait and maintain. This will take patience. Mice might not have big brains, but they compensate a bit by quickness. As for this creature you're dealing with - Who knows?

You wonder if you should try giving Spiegelman a call—he might be the only person you can trust to not blabber it on.

You laugh a little.

On the other hand, he doesn't seem to be the gullible type and given he's likely dealt with a few wackos in his 69 years, he might hang up and block you. He might also scold you and tell you to leave her alone: she ain't hurting you. So she steals a bit of food and stuff from your garden. Big whoop!

Bedtime. You're going to sleep in your clothes after throwing two extra blankets on your bed. It's going to be a cold night.