Oh, but love grows where my rosemary goes

“Kim… your hair!” Nick had just gotten used to her regular hairstyle returning, he didn’t expect her to go back to a pixie cut so fast.

“It looks great on you!” Rose gasped, her eyes lighting up. “What happened? Did you get your old transformation back?”

“No, no, nothing like that!” Kim said, shaking her head frantically. “I just… well…” She began playing with her bangs. “I wanted a bit of an image change, I guess. If I can’t change the rest of myself, well… at least I can change my hair, right?”

Dani watched from the sidelines, a little miffed. She cleared her throat. “Ahem.”

“Hmm?” Nick and Rose turned to her.

“…That’s it? Nothing?” Dani waved her hand over her body, raising her eyebrow.

Nick blinked, then realized what she was alluding to.

“Oh! Holy shit! You got your muscles back!” He gasped. “What the heck happened?!”

“Not bad.” Rose nodded in approval. “You were in amazing shape!”

Dani’s eye twitched in irritation. So Kim gets a haircut and you notice immediately, but my whole body goes back to the way it used to be and you don’t even notice? I see how it is.

She didn’t know why she was irritated by that. At least Rose praised her muscles though.

“Dakota kissed Dani,” Kim explained. “Taking away her transformation. So now she’s back to her old body for a little while.”

“I’m happy for you, Dani.” Nick gave her a smile. “It may just be temporary, but I’m glad you’re back in the body you like.”

Dani appreciated that he was happy for her, but at the same time it felt like too little, way too late.

“Too bad it isn’t as easy as that for you,” she said, nudging Kim in the side. “A haircut is one thing, but it’s a lot of hard work to trim down that belly fat!”

Kim’s face turned red. “D-Don’t tell them that!” She exclaimed frantically.

“Why not? You should be proud of how hard you worked today!” Dani couldn’t understand why Kim was embarrassed about her effort today. That was no easy routine, and even though it had felt like ****, the other girl had still been able to do it.

Something like that, Dani would have thought Kim would be bursting with pride at her accomplishment.

Kim sighed in exasperation and looked at the ground. Dani just couldn’t understand.

“Dani, you might not understand this, but for a lot of women, acknowledging that they have to work out in the first place is admitting defeat,” Rose tittered. “We always want to be perceived at our best by those observing us. And even if we can acknowledge to ourselves that we need to improve, verbalizing that to another person is often a step too far. It’s the same reason that a woman would never wish to be seen without their makeup. Everyone knows that the face before them has been carefully touched up to look its best. But they all wish to believe the flawless lie, and for us to say otherwise would be simply criminal.”

She placed her hand above her heart and pushed out her chest with pride. “Indeed, we want to always be seen at our best, and be perceived as though we are never anything but. Something flawless and perfect no matter when it is observed, whether it be our faces, our figures, or our etiquette, indeed, that is what a ‘woman’ is!”

“…That sounds stupid,” Dani said dryly.

“You totally get it!” Kim, on the other hand, took Rose’s side. While she had never cared about her appearance before coming here, everything Rose said resonated with her feelings. It was such a strange sensation. Before now, Kim had always been a hard worker, and wanted others to perceive her that way. But where Nick was concerned, she didn’t want him to know she was working to better her looks. She just wanted him to be pleased.

Maybe that stirring in her heart was her feelings towards him starting to bloom.

“Rose, that was very kind of you,” Nick said, genuinely impressed with her empathy. “I had no idea how much work you put in behind the scenes to always look your best!”

“…Hmm? Oh, no, I was talking about other people,” Rose clarified, waving her hand frantically. “I always looked this good!”

Kim and Dani both stared at her and she cleared her throat, averting her eyes. “W-well, the important thing is that you’re happy with the path you’re on, isn’t that so?” She reached up and touched the ends of Kim’s hair, getting it all straightened out. “Still, you might end up missing that hair of yours, it really was quite beautiful. I still miss the time when I had longer hair!”

“Oh? Why’d you cut it?” Nick asked curiously. Personally, he’d always thought Rose was the type of girl who would grow her hair out, given how concerned she was with her appearance. But he also acknowledged that he might be mixing her up with her seductive persona; he still didn’t know that much about the real Rose.

Rose just gave him a cutting stare.

“Sylvia told me that a certain someone had a preference for short hair, and if I wanted any hope of seducing him I would need to cut it until at least above my shoulders.” Her curly blonde locks did indeed end just at her shoulders.

Nick glanced away. “Huh, I wonder who that could have been…”

Dani and Kim snickered while Rose mourned the loss of her long hair.

“…But it’s fine,” she said, twisting a one of her curls between her fingers. “I don’t dislike this style at all… and if it keeps your eyes focused on me, then…”

She gave him a saucy wink that didn’t flutter his heart in the slightest. By this point he could tell when Rose was being playfully seductive just to tease him, phenomenal actress or not.

“So what are you two doing out here?” Kim asked curiously.

“Yeah, Nick, you usually just lock yourself in the room when you get the chance,” Dani nodded in agreement.

Nick winced. He ignored the triumphant smirk on Rose’s face. Okay, so maybe I should get out more often.

“We’re on… a date, I guess,” Nick said, glancing at Rose. She blushed slightly and shook her head.

“To clarify, it isn’t a date!” She was speaking a little fast. “Just an outing. A brief rendezvous between compagnons, that’s all!”

“Oh, that’s cool,” Dani nodded.

“So, um… would it be okay if we joined you, then?”

Everyone was surprised by Kim’s question, even Kim herself. But she wanted to spend a little more time with Nick before she had to go to work. She’d cut her hair just for him, after all.

This is one of the times I need to be daring, she told herself. It was that stronger girl in her that had encouraged that question. Do what I want to do!

Rose stood petrified, with her smile glued to her face. Ultimately it was up to Nick; they were the members of his harem, and they served at his pleasure. If he thought he’d have more fun with the four of them together, then it wouldn’t be her place to get jealous and possessive. That would just turn him off even more.

“Sorry, but… I can’t.” Nick felt really bad about saying no, especially after Kim had just cut her hair, but he still shook his head.

“What?!” Kim was actually surprised by the response.

“What?!” But not as surprised as Rose.

“Look, I appreciate the offer, I really do, and yeah, next time I’d be happy to hang out with you,” Nick assured her. “But… Rose asked me first. She and I already made plans, and it would be rude to change them so suddenly.”

“…Really?” Rose stared at Nick in shock. She couldn’t believe her ears. But his words sent flutters all through her heart.

Kim was glum, but she understood. Nick’s honesty was one of the things she liked about him. And there would be other chances. “Okay then!” Fortunately, she was very good at faking her smiles. “Maybe next time!”

Next time, she vowed, I’m going to be in a lot better shape, too! He won’t even know what hit him! That belly fat was going down.

“Well, now that that’s settled, I suppose we’ll leave you to it!” Dani had remained on the sidelines because how Nick conducted his love life had nothing to do with her. As one of his best friends, she would be content with silently supporting him, and letting the chips fall where they may.

Then she winked at the two of them. “Enjoy your date!”

…But she could push things along a little, too.

“It-It ISN’T!” Rose wailed, turning red as an apple. Dani cackled and ran off, while Kim made a far more dignified exit, heading off to start work early. That just left the two of them.

“Rose-”

“NOT A DATE!” Rose cut him off. “Err, I mean… if you don’t want to date someone like me, I don’t want you to get your expectations up… or misunderstand. You and I, we’re just…”

What were they?

Rose knew two languages, and neither had a word that could adequately describe the feelings she held for the man beside her.

She stepped back to give him some space and cleared her throat. She knew her face was still red, but she couldn’t let that interrupt their flow.

“Shall… shall we go, then?” She coughed, fluttering her eyelashes his way.

Nick nodded, and happily escorted her down the road. By the time her heart had settled and they could have a normal discussion again, they’d come across a movie theater.

To Rose’s good fortune, the movies were even all in French.

“French films, huh?” Nick looked at the sign blazing in neon over the theater, advertising French films. They approached the building, looking at the posters that showed what was playing. “Um… ‘Dix Salopes’, ‘La Petit Mort’, a few others… they’re all romance movies, I think.”

He turned to Rose. “Which one do you want to… Rose?”

Rose stared in open-mouthed shock. Nick couldn’t speak French worth a dime, but to Rose who was translating those movies were…

“L-let’s look somewhere else!” She hastily grabbed his arm and dragged him away, pushing aside the vulgar images appearing in her mind.

It took some doing, but Nick and Rose finally managed to find a movie theater that wasn’t showing something that amounted to porn.

That didn’t mean it was better though.

“Rose…” Nick turned to the blonde and pointed at the film poster, while Rose just hid her face in her hands.

“Don’t look at me. This was a mistake. I’m not even here.”

“Come on,” Nick said, laughing. “Don’t you think you’re being a little too melodramatic about this?”

“No, I’m being just the right amount of dramatic, thank you very much! You can’t seriously be thinking about watching that movie, can you!?” Sweat rolled down her body like she was being put on trial for ****.

There on the poster was Rose herself, smiling at another man. The title of the movie was “Love Probably”.

“Not that movie! Any movie but that one!” Rose begged. “...Or the other ones!”

“I thought you couldn’t get any work as an actress?” Nick couldn’t help but enjoy watching her squirm. He knew it was bad at him, but something about her attitude just made him delighted. Maybe Gina was turning him into more of a sadist than he thought.

“I was just starting out!” She wailed. “All I had to bank on were my looks! And since I wouldn’t do any of ‘those’ films, I could only get roles in crappy low-budget Hallmark romantic comedies! They were just ripping off other movies! And they paid like shit!”

“Come do a few movies for us. They’ll open the doors to bigger and better things. Think of it like a gateway to being a real actress. Your career will flourish. It’s just a few movies anyway. Once you’re a big star, nobody will even care that you used to do Hallmark movies.”

They’d lured her in with their tempting words, making it seem like the Hallmark Channel was the intro to bigger and better things. And Rose had fallen for it hook, line, and sinker.

“Rose, it’s fine.” Nick placed his hand on her shoulder and gave her a warm smile. “I know you did your best, no matter what movie you were cast in.”

His words were kind, but Rose could see the light dying behind his eyes. He looked at her with sadness, like she was a sick animal that needed to be put down.

Damn it!

“Two tickets for the double feature of ‘Love Possibly’ and ‘My Morbidly Obese Greek Wedding’ please,” Nick told the faerie.

Rose wished she was dead so that she could roll over in her grave. Resigned to a humiliating date (not a date) she followed him into the theater, anticipating all the ways this evening could go incredibly, humiliatingly wrong.

Needless to say, Rose didn’t enjoy the movies. Why did Nick even want to watch these, anyway? She wondered. She’d begged him not to do it. He couldn’t actually think these clichéd messes were enjoyable, right?

No, he had to have better taste than that. It couldn’t be POSSIBLE to have taste this awful.

And yet, his eyes were glued to the screen.

<“I don’t know, Marie! How could I be in love with him? I’m just running a bakery, and he’s a big, fancy architect!”>

Of all the humiliations and degrading situations Rose had endured since coming on this show, this was quite possibly the worst. She watched herself deliver those horrible lines, surrounded by actors who half-assed their deliveries while conveying less emotion than a brick wall.

By the time the movie got to the part where the male lead interrupted Rose’s wedding and they ran off together in a hurry to get to the airport so he could confess his feelings for his true love in time to win the big game and save the youth center, Rose wanted to hang herself with her own sweater.

And yet, as much as it hurt to watch, she couldn’t deny that she looked good. The dress looked flawless, and it seemed to work perfectly with her beauty. Somehow, that made it all feel worse. That she could look so amazing while starring in such a pile of shit.

That was the only time I’ve ever worn a wedding dress, she thought sadly, remembering how much she’d loved that gown when she first put it on. For a moment, she’d been able to forget the garbage she was performing, and got to feel like a princess. I wonder if I’ll ever get to look that lovely again?

Her eyes couldn’t help but drift to Nick, who was still watching intently. She had to admit, she hadn’t given him enough credit. She thought that he’d be ruthlessly mocking it, but he was actually engaging with the scenes. He only laughed at the parts that were intentionally supposed to be funny (even though they weren’t) and was respectfully quiet during the solemn moments that were supposed to be played for drama (in spite of how cheesy the lines were).

If Rose didn’t know any better, she’d think he actually liked the movies. But she did know better. Because no one could like those.

Her eyes drifted down to where his hand was resting on the arm rest. It had been there the entire time, and she wondered…

Does he want me to…? Heavily considering taking his hand, Rose thought about what was expected of her. This was a date, after all. Should she reach out and hold hands with him? If she were his girlfriend, that would go without saying. Maybe he was hoping for that?

…Or was she overthinking it? Maybe this was all in her head. Maybe if she held his hand, he’d think she was trying to seduce him, and that would just drive him away even more.

So she hesitated. Too afraid he might not trust her intentions, she let his hand sit where it was while hers remained firmly planted in her lap. She stared forward, not letting herself get distracted no matter how much she just wanted to be looking at his face, checking to make sure he was still watching her.

I don’t understand. I don’t want him to watch my movies, but the thought of him not wanting to watch them hurts too… why do I feel this way? Rose couldn’t understand the emotions welling up inside of her, they just felt… uncomfortable.

After hours and hours of agonizing torment, the movies finally came to an end.

Rose couldn’t get out of there fast enough.

“It’s not what you think!” She exclaimed the second they made it to the curb. “Those movies, they were… I’m not that…! Please, don’t think less of me for being in movies like that!” She begged. “I always wanted to be cast in better things! Genuine romantic dramas with stakes and good characterization! But I never got those parts! I had to do whatever work would come, so please-!”

Before today, she didn’t think she had anywhere lower to fall in Nick’s eyes. She’d certainly been taught a lesson.

And yet, Nick just laughed.

“Rose, I don’t think you get it, I don’t blame you for that,” Nick said, shaking his head. “And believe me, I certainly don’t think any less of you for starring in those movies!”

Rose stared at him incredulously. “You… don’t?”

“Of course not! Were you even watching them?” He asked.

“Yeah, that’s how I know they’re garbage!” She stated. “Absolutely horrible mutilations of cinema! You can’t actually have LIKED them!”

“Not the plot or the characters, no, of course not,” Nick shook his head. “You’re right, as movies, they were completely awful, just like I expected.”

“So… why did you want to watch them, then?” She still didn’t understand. Why would he subject himself to something like that, if he knew the movies were going to be awful?

“Because the only good thing about those movies was you,” Nick said, and his answer shook her to the bone.

“M… Me?” She squeaked out.

“It didn’t matter how terrible the dialogue was, or how badly the scenes were shot. You were amazing! You delivered every line from your heart!” Nick exclaimed. “You really became those characters, and even if they were terribly written, you still made them come alive!”

“I-I just… well, that’s what any actor would do,” Rose stammered, averting her eyes. She felt her face heat up.

Nick shook his head. “Not even close. All those other actors, you could tell they were completely phoning it in, but that just made you stand out even more! You really gave it your all, even though those movies didn’t deserve it! That’s… you’re amazing!”

“You… you think I’m amazing?” Rose felt like she was floating on air. Nick’s praise was causing her heart to soar through the sky, and it felt like it would rip itself out of her chest to do it.

“Look, the reason why I wanted to watch those movies is because… the point of this whole date… outing… whatever, it was so that I could get to know you. But I can’t get to know you if we’re just sitting in a movie theater in the dark together,” Nick explained, looking a little red in the cheeks himself. “I know you didn’t want me to watch those movies, but… I thought that if I was going to actually try to know the real you, then I’d need to see you at your best, and also your worst. And those movies… they had a little bit of both.”

He laughed lamely, clearly hoping to diffuse the tension, but Rose didn’t share in his laugh. To her, this moment was incredibly grave.

Nick watched my movies, and didn’t make fun of me. He saw how much effort I put in, even though I tried to hide it… this feeling, it’s… no, it can’t be, can it? Rose held her hand over her pounding heart, finding herself lost in Nick’s eyes.

She’d been playing coy, trying to avoid acknowledging her feelings, but in front of him like this, with him looking right at her… after watching her horrible performances and still seeing the best in her…

Rose could no longer deny her heart its due.

I am in love with him.