Offer to help put his stuff away

"Look," you say. "I don't want any problems, but I don't want to live in a dumpster, either. Can I help you get this stuff sorted? Like...not on the floor?"

He bites his lip. "I mean...I was just taking a break."

"I get it, but if you want, I can start putting your stuff away while you take your break."

"That's..." he sits up, and you can see in his face that he actually does have a sense of shame. "Okay, fine, let's start sorting shit, then."

He gets up and the two of you put things away together. You find that once he's been **** into being serious, he can be chill. You find out that he lives not far from here, out in East County, and he's in school with his twin sister Alice.

"I'm worried about her," he admits. "Like, I hate to sound like one of those protective fuckin brothers, but she's this really innocent girl, and Covid didn't help."

"I mean, it affected all of us. I think she'll-"

"She's also really hot."

You stop and stare at him.

"I mean, my sister is totally hot," he says. "Like, that's relevant. Because, you know, guys will try to mess with her here. Shit, she's so hot. It's terrifying."

You can see how, when you set aside his tone, the words he is using, and the general way he says everything, it is a legitimate and loving concern.

Around this time, as you are folding one of his shirts and putting it in the drawer, you hear a knock on your door.

"Who is it???" Brandon says in what sounds like a stereotypical housewife voice. You do not want to know why he is so good at that.

The door opens and in walks a girl who challenges a lot of your preconceptions.

For example, you always thought that asian girls had no curves. This one does, and her breasts stretch out the front of her white tanktop. Her dark hair fades to brown at the ends, and her almond eyes seem to carry an inquisitive smile. She's got a clipboard in her hand, and you purposely snap your gaze up to keep it on her face.

"Hello," she says. "Name's Megan, I'm your RA. Just checking in. Everything going alright, here?"

"Oh yeah, fine," Brandon says, with deliberate emphasis. "Ryan and I were just getting along. Name's Brandon, by the way. I'll be here."

He just...cut off your opportunity to introduce yourself. Bro.

She raises an eyebrow at him. "I mean, you live here. So...yes. Are there any issues with the room? Any concerns right now?"

"Well I'll give you one concern," he says. "Soon as you entered, my heart quickened, I think I might be having a murmur."

"As soon as I entered," her smiling eyes get hard. "Interesting. Should I note it down?"

"I don't know. Maybe we could solve it, just the two of us?"

You don't interrupt because it has all the morbid appeal of watching a trainwreck in slow motion. Megan's eyes grow harder still. Her petite mouth thins out in a line. She puts her clipboard down.

"I want to make two things absolutely clear," she says. "First: I am your RA. This is kind of like hitting on your boss, if you have a job. Second: my biggest turn-on, personally, is intelligence. So right about now I am drier than the Sahara, and if Chris Hemsworth walked into this room right now, your presence would ensure that I still would be."

There's a pause as he blinks, stupefied.

"Is that clear?" She asks.

"Uh. Yah," he blurts out.

"Good," she turns to you. "I'm sorry on your behalf, Ryan. Has he caused you any trouble, so far?"

"No, no...I mean, I offered to help him put his stuff away, and that's going well."

She grabs her clipboard again. "Noting Ryan as responsible and easygoing...you seem like the type to volunteer to help, is that accurate?"

"Uh. I guess so?" You say.

"Good. If we need to take care of something around the dorms I'll consider you for grunt work," and for a moment, she examines your muscles. You can't help but notice a glint in her eye. Then she continues. "Unfortunately, I am a small girl, and I have the strength to go with it."

Not small in some ways, floats through your head. It is true that she's petite. But man those tits look massive on that petite frame.

"Anyway, nice to meet you, Ryan," she emphasizes. "I'm still going door to door. I'll see you two again, inevitably."

"Bro..." Brandon stammers as she leaves. "Did you just cuck me without saying a word?"

"I'd say I'm sorry, but yeah...I didn't say anything," you say.

He leans out into the hall and watches her go. "Women are a mystery."