Off the cuff remarks

Stepping out into the hall Joyce was surprised to see Xander sprint from her room into Buffy's room. Curious she followed and watched as the boy closed and locked all the windows in the room.

"Everything ok?" She asked as Xander stared thru the window worriedly.

He twirled around and looked at her in wide eyed surprised. "Uuuuh, yeah, yup, sure... everything is super cool."

Joyce snorted. "Open and honest, that's the number one rule in any relationship Xander. You don't need to hide anything from me. If you tell me something i promise you, I'll believe it."

Xander sagged and blew out a breath, "Right, well, see..." he gesticulated his hands helplessly, "theres kind of a..." he shook his head "theres a realtively large mob of women out there who 'love me' and are trying to..." he shook his head.

"Go on." Joyce had known that being the sexiest man alive wasn't sunshine and roses but she hadnt known it made Xander this disconsolate. Then again rampaging fans made celebrities miserable on the regular. And its not like Xander had a bodyguard or some kind of security. If a group of girls attacked him he could be seriously hurt. She'd have to remember to bring that idea up later.

"Uhm, so part of the group is trying to kill Cordy for dumping me..." Xander shook his head, "Which is, I mean, Cordy isnt- She can't-"

"She's a bimbo, not very smart and only cares about bimbo things like orgasms and pretty things?" Joyce leaned into the doorframe in her best seductive femme fatale pose.

Xander bobbed his head from side to side, "I was gonna go with couldnt even hurt a fly.... But, well, yeah. Cordy's a bimbo. When we broke up she didnt do it maliciously. She just... i dunno...." He shrugged his broad shoulders. "Met a guy with a bigger dick, I guess. She didn't tell me why, y'know, she just dumped me."

Joyce couldnt help but hold back a snort. Men and their pride in penis length. Xander was the sexiest man alive, beloved by millions of women and he still worried about his manhood.

"Xander, sweetie, you have nothing to worry about. You have one of the biggest dicks in existence. Long and thick and shaped just right to drive every woman to new heights of orgasmic bliss." She left unsaid that she wanted to be the first one driven to their newest heights of orgasmic bliss. "Right?"

Unknown to both the magic of the ring set to work as Xander's penis grew quite a bit. Stopping at eleven and half inches in length and a little over seven and a half inches in girth when fully hard.

Joyce couldn't help but look at the bulge that filled the left pants leg of Xander's jeans. She day dreamed about the day that monster of a cock would fill her cunt.

Clearing her throat Joyce continued on as Xander stood opposite her blushing and looking awkward, "And with the right person to guide you I'm sure you will turn into a world class lover, knowing exactly how to use that big dick to turn the lucky woman your with into a moaning mess of fucked stupid female flesh."

Again she left unsaid that she wanted to be the one to teach him how to fuck a woman into a stupor.

Xander's eyes widened as he looked at her. Joyce smiled slightly as that bulge in his pants leg jumped slightly.

Xander cleared his throat and contiued on "A-a-anyways, um, the other part of the goup thats out there is, um, girls who want to kill me if they cant have me." He tried to laugh it off. "Willow is... Will's is leading them."

"Oh sweetie." Joyce pulled free from the door frame and walking towards him, she held out her arms. Xander looked as if he would turn away and refuse but at the last minute turned to her and leaned in, allowing Joyce to hug him.

Joyce could admit to herself that she couldnt really blame Willow. Longing for Xander and not being able to have him was ****. She struggled with it herself from time to time. Years being by his side must have made Willow snap quite suddenly. Probably the idea that that Bimbo Cordy was out of the way had spurred on this bout of insanity. The waiting just got to be too much for the girl.

Thankfully, unlike Willow, Joyce knew that as soon as Xander was legal she would get to have him finally. Joyce had had a few fantasies about what exactly they should do when Xander was finally free to fuck her. And she only had to wait until next January.

"It's ok, Sweetie, it's ok." Hugging his body closer Joyce ran her hands over his body, enjoying the usually forbidden contact. "No one wants to kill you. No one wants to hurt you."

Xander let out a short sharp laugh, "promise?"

Joyce gently ran her fingers through Xander's dark hair. "Xander, everyone loves you, no one wants to hurt you, people would rather die than hurt you. The very idea would make them sick. Willow, especially, doesn't want anything bad to happen to you."

Thanks to the magic of the ring the vampire Angelus, hiding out of view of the room's window on the landing below it, found himself disgusted with the idea he'd had of killing Xander to hurt Buffy. He nearly felt ill. What was wrong with him? Why would he dare dream of hurting Xander? He loved Xander!