Off on her own

"Go on without me. I need to take care of some things." Teysa gently unhooked Aliara's arm from her own, heedless of the stricken expression on the half-elf's face. Aliara put on a brave smile and laid one hand on Teysa's shoulder. Her voice was high and brittle. "I can help. I'll be as quiet as a mouse, I promise."

"I said leave me alone!" Teysa whirled in sudden anger. Aliara's mouth gaped in a shocked O, then tears welled up in her eyes. She spun around and fled, sobbing, from the practice chamber. Teysa opened her mouth to call out, but found that she couldn't bring herself to do it. What would she say, anyways? How could she explain any of this to Li? Guilt burned in her cheeks, but she **** it down. She wasn't a bad person for wanting a little privacy, a little alone time. Anyone in her position would.

The drow seemed unwilling to approach any closer. They were huddled in a hushed knot, occasionally casting glances at Teysa. She knew that they would be gossiping about her for days. Spiteful little devils-- in that moment, she hated them more than she ever had during her **** and captivity in the drow capital. They wouldn't understand what she was going through either. Nobody could.

It was in this resentful, sullen mood that she finished changing into the hard-wearing leather that she favored for daily wear. Her mace hung from a leather loop at her waist. She buckled on her boots and stamped off in the opposite direction from where Aliara had gone. Teysa didn't want to go home right now. She couldn't face Li like this. She couldn't even face the driders-- they were friendly, but they were bound to have seen Aliara's tearful flight, and they'd have questions Teysa wasn't prepared to answer. Instead she made for the outer reaches of the warren, a series of caves of rough, raw stone that had yet to be hewn into useful shapes by the driders' potent magic. She reached up as she left the practice cave to grab one of their chemical lanterns-- an open-sided metal box filled with phosphorescent fungi cuttings, treated by alchemical means to shed light longer and farther.

Hiking through the caves was slow going. Calcite speleothems lined the walls and ceiling; smooth curtains and clusters of conules blocked her path, requiring her to turn back and detour around. After months of subterranean living her walk had come to resemble the rolling gait of sailors used to a pitching deck. She strode around some formations, over others, her long legs deftly finding the smallest footholds and avoiding patches of loose scree and wet, slippery stone. The driders were never particularly careful to clear the floors of their warren; their eight long, spindly legs were more than up to the task of navigating even the most uneven ground. With the recent influx of two-legged visitors, this would have to change.

Teysa wasn't going anywhere in particular, but she wasn't afraid of getting lost. Her sense of direction had never been as good as Aliara's, but in recent months, she had found it easier and easier to navigate the mazelike warren. It was like a tug in her brain that pulled her gently but firmly back home.

Home. That was a strange thought. Teysa hadn't had a permanent home in years. Even the Abbey of St. Petronia where she had taken her holy vows had merely been a way point along her path. She had spent years sleeping on the iron-hard cots of the Abbey's barracks, but it had never been her home. Home was her family's tiny farm, the straw pallet she shared with her sisters, the lowing of the cows in the morning and the warmth of her mother's arms. She had not been back since her induction into the Order of St. Petronia, and she was surprised at how little she missed it. All of those years on the road, she had never been tempted to return, and now she had a new home, and a new family. Her bed was a giant spiderweb, her bath a geothermal pool, and instead of her squirming, quarrelsome sisters she shared a bed with Aliara.

Thinking about Li made her sad again. She hadn't mean to snap at the half-elf like that, but she needed to clear her head. Teysa supposed she had been too hard on Lil'esh, too. The girl was doing her best, and she was talented. None of this was her fault, or Li's either. But how could she tell them what was happening? How could she explain it?

Teysa supposed that she hadn't thought of home for years because she hadn't needed to. She carried the warmth and light of Agamor inside her. Sometimes, she felt like it was a tiny sun, burning next to her heart. The God did not speak to her-- only His chosen prophets heard His commands, and they were few and far between-- but she always knew that He was there, and He cared. He was watching over her. If she stumbled, if she fell, He would catch her. Even in the darkness under the world, even in her captivity and violation, she had kept faith. And been rewarded! The turnaround in her fortunes in the past months was nothing shy of extraordinary; from a brood mare kept bound to the wall of a dank cavern, she had risen to her feet and changed the course of drow history. She had found love, the kind of deep and abiding love that she thought she would never experience. Her aimless adventurer's life had been filled with purpose.

And then, just as it felt like the wave was cresting, she felt Agamor drain out of her soul. It was a slow process, a gradual dimming of a light that had shone for so long she had ceased to be consciously aware of it. At first her gifts had been slow to respond, as though the power was coming from a long way away. It took more and more effort to manifest even the simplest rites of Agamor. Now, she feared, she could not do it at all. If that had been the extent of it, she would have adjusted; the Order of St. Petronia felt that over-reliance on the paladin's divine gifts was a crutch, and emphasized martial training and self-reliance. But Teysa could feel the light dimming inside her, as well, the sense of comfort and love that had never left her since the earliest days of her training. She felt that Agamor's blazing Eye had turned away from her, that He had abandoned her. A gloomy pall seemed to have descended over her sight, and she was soul-sick and weary. Her whole life had been dedicated to the God of the Sun. She had thought that here in the Underneath she was bringing His light into dark places, just as she had always been taught. Was that all true? Was any of it?

Teysa stopped walking and slouched against a rock, allowing herself to slide down to the floor. She had begun crying without realizing it, and the tears carved lines through the dirt and grime on her face. She had never felt so alone, not even when cocooned by the drider matron all of those months ago. Even with Aliara at her side, she felt it, an unbridgeable gulf between them. The half-elf nominally gave praise to Quz, the trickster deity, but none of that laughing god's followers were very devout and Li certainly wasn't an exception. She loved Teysa and took her faith as part of the complete package, but she didn't understand. None of them did. The drow and driders had just heard from their own Goddess for the first time in millennia, a direct revelation that proved she was still there and still cared for them. They were still debating its ramifications. It seemed that somehow, in rescuing that deity, Teysa had lost her own.

She was pulled from her reverie by the sound of voices. She hoped it wasn't Aliara, coming to look for her. She wasn't ready to speak to her lover yet, and she didn't want to have another fight. Li was loving, but she was also gregarious and playful and didn't seem to understand the importance of solitude at times like this. Teysa crouched and prepared to stand, but something stayed her. The voices echoing towards her were unfamiliar. Male, and that was unusual in the warren (though, since the arrival of the drow, not impossible). They were angry, it seemed, and speaking some dialect Teysa didn't recognize. She heard the clink of metal on metal, and then a meaty impact that made her wince. There was a whimpering moan, and when the voice came again, it sounded pained. What was happening?

Teysa crept forward in a crouch, trying to hide behind the rough calcite formations as much as she could. It was hard to tell where sound was coming from underground, but she thought it must be ahead of her; these intruders, whoever they were, would not have been able to penetrate deeper into the warren without being noticed. She turned a final corner and had to pull back quickly. They were ahead, all right, a half dozen of them occupying a small cave. The cave was bowl-shaped, with a spiraling pillar of flowstone in the center that looked as though it had been formed drip by drip over thousands of years. The figures were humanoid, tall, with heavy cloaks of a blue so dark it was almost black. They had set up a half dozen flame lanterns on the floor of the cave, which provided a fitful, flickering light. Five of them were in a semi-circle, with the sixth sprawled at their feet. This one was a male drow, and when the tallest of the standing figures removed his hood, Teysa could see that he was as well. This one was thin even by the standards of the elves, with a sharply lined face and a hooked blade of a nose. His white hair was cropped close in a widow's peak, and his eyes narrowed as he looked down at his feet.

"Please! I don't-- I don't understand! I don't speak that tongue!" the elf on the floor pleaded. A thin trickle of blood ran from his nostrils, and his nose had a scrunched, broken look. He scrambled for purchase on the floor, but did not dare to stand. The tallest drow looked down at him with his lip curved in a sneer, then spoke. His voice carried the clipped and patrician tones of the drow nobility.
"Do not play stupid with us, Roddus. We know that your caravans have been trading with the beasts. You probably couldn't wait to do commerce with those vile things. So we don't need to establish that. We came to you with a very generous offer, and you chose to take it directly to that whore at the Basilica. Don't bother to deny it."

"I-- I didn't! I p-promise!" Roddus groveled at the taller drow's feet. The noble shook his foot in distaste and stepped backward. He nodded at the figure next to him, an imposing hulk of a drow with the tense posture of one barely containing tremendous ****. The large man stepped forward and reached under his robe, pulling out what looked to Teysa like a silver truncheon. He held it in both hands, and the silver pole extended out in both directions like a conjurer's trick until it was the length of a quarterstaff. It spun in his fingers like a living thing and caught the unfortunate Roddus under the chin, snapping his head back and sending him sprawling. He screamed as he landed and lay there in a tangled pile.

"Shall I have Johass hit you again, or are you ready to cooperate?" the noble asked, a tone as mild as if he was ordering lunch. Roddus nodded, spraying bloody mucus and spittle everywhere. "Yes! I'm sorry, yes! I went to Mish'li at the Basilica! I told her-- told her everything! I'm sorry! I was s-scared!"

"Hm." The noble's expression was unreadable. "Are you scared now?"

"Yes!" Roddus nodded again and collapsed, his shoulders heaving with sobs.

"Very good. You will tell us what you told her. And what she told you. And you will not leave anything out, or things will go very badly for you."

Teysa swallowed. She wasn't sure what was going on, but criminality among the drow nobility wasn't unusual; the old Empress had been a lunatic, and her court had likely been as vicious and self-serving as their mistress. This was not her business, but the mention of Mish'li gave her pause. The drow priestess had been their greatest ally in the City, and was even now leading the effort to reconcile the sundered halves of Lolth's family. It sounded like the drow before her were plotting something dire. All of her self-pity was forgotten. Even in her current crisis of faith, Teysa's commitment to the ideals of justice and defense of the innocent were unbreakable. She knew she should warn the driders of this as soon as possible, but all of her instincts were telling her that she could not simply abandon Roddus to his fate.