Oddish

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Town Whore Emilia – I’ll show you my strength!

• Diglett – Weak, Healthy
• Oddish – Weak, Healthy

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VS

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Dojo Master Kim – Good! Come at me with everything you’ve got!

• Hitmonchan – Capable, Healthy
• Mankey – Weak, Healthy

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With Oddish being able to inflict some status effects on the enemy, it’s a good choice to start against a strong foe like Hitmonchan. Even if it can’t beat its opponent directly, its lingering effects might tip the scale in Diglett’s favor later on. Then you just have to hope Diglett can handle whatever else she has to throw at you…

You send out Oddish and are met with a similar response from Master Kim as Samantha’s Pidgey. “I see. Looking to benefit from Poison-type’s innate resistance to Fighting-type attacks. A viable strategy.” Uh, yeah! That was totally your plan! “BUT YOU’VE MADE A MISTAKE. YOUR ODDISH IS NOT ONLY POISON-TYPE BUT GRASS-TYPE AS WELL! HITMONCHAN, USE FIRE PUNCH!”

How many types can this thing attack with!? “Oddish, use Poison Powder!” Hitmonchan streaks across the dojo floor, fire trailing behind its fist as it connects directly with Oddish, but not before a cloud of purple powder erupts in Hitmonchan’s face. Its posture drops slightly, the poison seemingly having taken effect, but Oddish is still down for the count after a single attack.

“Still weak, but you managed to land an attack. Now, send out your next pokemon. And don’t tell me you don’t have one!”

“Diglett, go!” Can Diglett beat her Hitmonchan in a one-on-one? Probably not. But since it’s poisoned, you might be able to win just by dodging its attacks until it can no longer fight. That will be your best bet.

“You have no type advantage this time. Looks like this fight is over. Hitmonchan, use Ice Punch!” Master Kim orders. Ice again? This type matchup is stupid, why is Ice strong against Ground?

“Dodge!”

Just before the blow connects, Diglett ducks underground, avoiding the attack and burrowing away. The poison looks to be affecting Hitmonchan, but it’s still far from done.

You keep up this routine for several rounds, Diglett barely managing to dodge every attack Hitmonchan throws at it while the poison slowly takes its toll. It looks like you’re going to win like this, but unfortunately, Master Kim is not content to simply watch her pokemon wear itself out. “Enough! Hitmonchan, use Sky Uppercut!” It’s a confusing choice as Hitmonchan shoots up into the air, the exact opposite direction of Diglett. It does so with such **** that it touches the ceiling, and for a second you’re worried it’s going to break straight through the roof. “Now, use Ice Punch!” Oh no. Just like every time before, Diglett ducks underground to avoid the attack, but Hitmonchan’s fist connects against the ground with such **** that it continues straight through and lands a direct hit against Diglett. When it doesn’t surface after a few seconds, it’s clear that Diglett can no longer continue. On the other hand, Hitmonchan is kneeling and breathing heavily, but isn’t quite KO’ed. Shoot, you thought you had her beat with your strategy, but a move like that was on a completely different level…

You sigh in resignation, looking up to admit defeat and congratulate your opponent on her victory. Instead, you find her already looming over you, causing you and Samantha to cower at her overbearing presence.

“I’ve seen enough!” she roars.