OPPONENT #1: Jobberella

"Aaand in this corner, we have... JOBBERELLA! Jobberella has been with KinkCo a long time now, with an embarrassing 0-39 record! It seems like she's signed on to the tournament looking for someone she actually has a chance to win against, what do you think, Sophie?"

"Well sometimes you just hit a bad losing streak, Chloe. And you know, when you lose enough times to fall into Jobber rank, fighting against fresh, unsigned fighters is the best way to get your mojo back! But don't count out our Amateur contender, either. She may look small, but I think she's got a lot of fighting spirit to make up for it."

You look up at the jumbotron above the ring, with different screens showing close-ups of you and your opponent. You grimace and let out an annoyed sigh as the camera zooms in on your ass. You suddenly feel self-conscious.

The announcer who registered you, Sophie, told you that the outfits were in your size but you're sure it's at least one or two sizes down. You instinctively move to adjust the back of your outfit as it starts to ride up, only to stop yourself with a horrifying thought.

If I pick my wedgie right now, millions of people will see it...

Then you start to spiral as you consider all the other horrible things that could end up happening to you on camera. The woman on the other side of the ring looks to be about the same age and build as you, but she also has a lot more experience.

But she is a jobber, surely you can beat her, right...?

You approach the center of the ring and stare down Joberella. She stares back intensely, with a hunger to win behind her eyes.

"My losing streak ends here. You ready to kiss my ass, rookie?"

"Only thing I'll be doing is kicking it!" You bluster.

You look up to see a countdown on the big screens, and realize there's no ref.

There's no ref...

"Well folks, the first fight of the tournament begins now! You know the rules: First to tap out, get knocked out or verbally submit is the loser. Tell me Chloe, what's in store for the loser?"

"Well Sophie, we're keeping it simple for the first fight, a Kiss My Ass match! The loser will have to plant one right on the winner's derriere. Look forward to seeing it in our Loser's Gallery later this week~"

Sophie chimes in, "Will Blondie debut as an ass kisser and go home in shameful defeat? Or will this be loss number forty for poor Jobberella? Both fighters have something to prove today, but only one can win! Let's see who the better woman really is!"

You look up at the counter on the jumbotron counting down to 0 before one of them goes back to zooming in on your ass. Your heart races as Jobberella enters a wrestling stance and gets in close.