Number 2: I want to cinch up my waist.

Like Kim Kardashian, right? It gives us that hourglass figure that men just drool over, right?

The second drawer contains a bright-neon pink cinch (of course) which you wrap around your waist and hook it together in front with about 20 hooks.

Oh my gawd!

You look in the mirror and are shocked at how narrow your waist has become. The cinch has reduced it by at least two inches! It looks crazy narrow, like a large man could almost encircle it with his hands. Of course, that's not actually true, it just looks that way. You know, honey, like an optical illusion or something.

I guess?

Anyway, the waist cinch is so tight that it makes it hard to breath, but that's okay, isn't it? Bimbos don't talk much, do they? Except to say: "Yes, honey. Anything you want, honey. Could you pay my credit card, honey?"

And, of course, to laugh at their jokes. Even if they're not funny. Especially if they're not funny.