Now You Know

Mei sits up tall again, regarding me curiously as she attempts to solve a problem that could not be deciphered through reason alone. In her face I see desire, I see uncertainty and I see vulnerability, it is a glimpse of that fallen angel I’d seen laid out on the bridge. The mask, the facade, of the woman always in control slips to reveal a peek at the frightened girl within. I suspected that I knew her secret, that she was a virgin, and I knew this was not something that could be rushed or cajoled. She was horny, she was naturally dominant, but she was still raw clay who had yet to be molded by experience. I could sense that she was on the cusp of a major life moment.

My voice soft I say. “My mom says that trust isn’t just earned. That it is a leap of faith no matter how much you prepare the ground.” Taking her hands I hold them tight. “I can’t tell you to trust me. Only you can decide that. But for what it is worth I will promise you not to spread your secrets or betray the trust you show me.” My smile warms. “You waited for me outside the police station. When I thought everything had turned to shit…you took my hand and mended my wounds and made tonight something truly wonderful.” Gazing deep into her eyes I say. “I like you Mei. I like you a lot. And I would really love to get to know you better. At your pace, in your way.”

“I think…I like you too, Dusty. Even though we just met. You make me feel…safe.” She lowers her gaze, closes her eyes and takes a deep breath. “This is so hard.”

“It doesn’t have to be.”

“You don’t know what it’s like. The secret, the shame, the…urges that won’t leave me in peace.”

“It’s natural, Mei. We all feel like this. It’s the most normal thing in the world.”

She shakes her head. “Not like this. I don’t want to scare you off, Dusty, but…but…” Her brows furrow as her internal battle was nearing a breaking point.

“Then trust me and share the burden.” I urge, gently. “I don’t scare easy. If you take the leap I will catch you.”

“Do you swear to me that no matter what happens, you’ll keep my secret?” She opens her eyes, peering into my soul. “Even if things go badly. Even if you end up hating me.”

“I’m not going to hate you, Mei.”

“Just promise.” She insists, squeezing my hands. “Promise me you’ll keep my secret.”

Something was off here. I could feel it. The way she was asking was too urgent. This wasn’t about virginity, or at least not JUST about virginity, but damned if I could figure out what it was. Whatever it was it was weighing on her heavily. All I knew is that Mei was asking me from her very soul to hold a secret that she was clearly terrified might ruin her reputation and her life.

Looking her squarely in the eyes, my voice firm, I say from my heart. “I promise.”

A blend of relief and acceptance washes over Mei as her whole body relaxes, she looked like someone passing off a great weight just as her strength was failing. Taking my hands she places them back on the arms of the chair. She then stands though remains straddling my knees. She takes another deep breath and reaches her hand down through the waist of her skirt. As I sit there trying remain sensitive to the situation and not look too perplexed she shifts her hips as her hand does God only knows what inside of her skirt.

Hand still down her knickers she says. “Don’t laugh, okay? Anything but that.”

“Sure, Mei.”

With that she yanks a…pad from out of her skirt. It wasn’t entirely unlike a maxi pad yet it clearly wasn’t for that purpose. It was thicker and deeper with a crescent shape. Before I could dwell on the time for long she drops it beside us. With her knees she forces mine together then, after another fortifying breath, she slowly sits back down again, this time I little closer up my thighs. Again her weight settles on my legs, again I feel her plump soft ass and pantie lines, but this time there was something different.

My thighs squeezed together as they were I now feel a…lump between them. Watching my expression closely Mei once more arranges her skirt as it had been before then shifts her hips forward to more fully press the bulge at her groin into the seam between my legs. Gripping the arms of the chair I stare back at her as I concentrate on that soft shape that shouldn’t be there.

I knew what it felt like, but my mind simply couldn’t go there. Not only was it too big to be that, somebody with a full, curvaceous, all-natural body like Mei’s simply could not have that. Grasping for answers I wonder if she had something stuffed in her panties or if it was some kind of growth or tumor. But the more I try to stray away from the obvious the more I am lead straight back again. Focused entirely on the feeling on my inner thighs through the tight denim I swear I can start to feel details. Two spherical shapes, firm yet mobile, were nestled snugly along the cleft of my thighs. In front of those was a thick tube, spongy yet solid, that warmed my legs. I swear it felt like flesh…and when it twitched that suspicion was confirmed!

It was impossible. Utterly impossible. I’d met trans girls before and as pretty as some of them were they simply did not look like Mei. And yet…the sensation against my legs was undeniable. This was some kind of trick? A realistic prosthetic? But looking into Mei’s dark, vulnerable eyes I could see she was not in a joking mood. In fact she was scared! I wanted to pull up her dress, I wanted to confirm what I thought I was feeling with my eyes and my hands, but as it was I can only sit there in disbelief.

As the moment of realization truly hits me she whispers. “Now you know.”

“Mei?”

I go to move my hands but she slaps hers down over my forearms. “No. Don’t move. Not yet. If you want to run I won’t blame you. But let me say this first.” She takes a shuddering breath. “I do like you, Dusty. I more than like you. I want you. I want you so bad. The way you move, the way you smile, the way you look at me, that look you give me when I touch you. I’m so…tired of denying myself. But I needed you to know…before anything happened. Before I any feelings developed. It’s only fair.” With another deep breath the fragility is shed and her icy armor crystalizes around her once more. “Now you know that I am a freak.”

“What? No.”

“You heard me. You feel it.” She says with a cool disdain bordering on loathing that was not directed at me. “So I trusted you and now you know my big secret. Tell me, Dusty.” She pauses, her black eyes holding mine. “Do you still want that kiss?”