Now James just needs a flying squirrel

"You clearly can't control your urges. If you want to be a big, dumb, horny animal, then so be it."

James was confused. He wasn't acting like a dumb animal. He'd texted Rebecca and let her down gently. That's not an animal thing to do at all. He scratched his head; it was itching, especially at the temples. It felt like something was growing.

He walked into his bathroom to get a good look in the mirror. There was definitely something growing from his head, but that wasn't all. He was covered in a layer of coarse brown fur, and his face was lengthening. It looked like he was turning into a horse. Except that horses didn't have...were these horns? No, he realized as the things on his head kept growing. They were antlers. He was turning into a moose!

His phone buzzed...

"Wherever you go, people will know just how much of a 'horny' animal you are. Enjoy your new life."