Nothing good.

"You two are really in over your heads, you know," the professor said as he stepped into the small living room. Madison closed the door behind him and stood demurely at his side.

"It makes sense that Levinson was a golem. No real person that good-looking would go into academia." He sniffed and nudged her crumpled frame with his foot. "But Madison here was a real surprise."

Ross stared at his girlfriend, dumbstruck. She grinned and waved cheerfully.

"How did you find out?" Andrew asked.

"Well, when the tech showed up to work babbling about her newfound love, I knew something strange was going on. When she came to my office to interrogate me about fringe golem science, I decided to discreetly check."

"He flashed a couple of modification scripts," Madison said helpfully.

"Indeed," Dr. Chambers said. He patted her on the head paternally and she basked in the affection. "The first to compel her to confess her true nature to me."

"And the second one?" Ross asked tremulously. Dr. Chambers nodded to Madison and she stepped forward to address Ross.

"Ross, sweetie, you are so important to me. I really do love you so much."

Ross said nothing, his face livid and sweaty.

"But this script... well, there's nothing more important than meeting Cecil's needs."

"...his needs?" Ross ventured.

"Oh, I definitely blew him," she said happily. "His dick is huge! Way bigger than yours. Sorry, babe, but it's true."

Ross blanched, looking like he might vomit. The professor chuckled haughtily, relishing his victory. Madison joined in, glad to be included.

"Your pathetic manhood is just one of the things Madison divulged. You kids are in a lot of trouble." The professor gleefully put a hand on Madison's ass, clearly more as a display of dominance than an act of sexual desire. She hugged his waist and batted her lashes at him.

"Madison, how could you?" Ross cried, his cheeks red and shining with tears.

"I told you, babe. Golems follow the script. This doesn't change how I feel about you! I still want to be your girlfriend, but if Cecil wills it I'll vivisect you while whistling showtunes. I'm a golem!"

"Mud," Cecil clarified. "Dirt. Clay, soil, earth. This thing that you projected love onto is a mudpie. Son, you don't understand how close you came to victory. You had two golems at your disposal that were both fully integrated into society as real people. Do you have any idea what a skilled Yetzirologist can do with that?"

"You fucking asshole!" Andrew screamed suddenly. He wasn't speaking to the professor, but to Ross. He flew at his friend and landed a solid blow on Ross's jaw. Ross crumpled to the ground and Madison squeaked in panic. She tried to wish to his side but the professor stopped her with a hand on her shoulder.

"Stop it!" she shrieked at Andrew, who was kneeling above Ross with his fist raised to strike another blow. "Leave him alone!"

"What the fuck are you gonna do?" Andrew screamed back as Ross coughed and moaned on the floor. "You're a pile of shit! Fuck him and fuck-"

They were interrupted by a sharp cry of pain. Dr. Chambers was clutching his left hand gingerly as Madison backed away from him. Andrew was stunned to see rivulets of blood pouring through his fingers.

"What the fuck did you do?" he asked Madison raggedly.