Nothin' Man It's Stolen

"I just want to know why the Captain ended up being Freddy Mercury," I remarked to Eris as the Bright golden Submarine sank into the Pond overlooking the valley. Yeah, no way in hell this little pond connected to the incredibly vast network of underground tunnels that we'd traveled through whilst the musical number played. It had been amazing, indeed. A song that kept running through my head, but didn't have that insipid melody and constant droning chant about living in the boat we had just traveled in. I mean yeah, why would you WANT to live in that thing?

There was no fog now in the valley, and we stood on the small dirt beach overlooking the pond. It was still now, as the last vestiges of the four lonely periscopes sank beneath the waves.

"Tradition." Eris flipped through her notebook, back and forth. She brought a pen to her lips and bit down, holding the cap between her lips as she spoke. "Hermes has to transport you to the judgement, and we had to get rid of the boat before anybody noticed that we were REALLY breaking the rules."

"How did that thing work, anyway?" I asked, "I mean, I thought diesel motors had to use spark plugs, so logically..."

"Brent, it was the sixties, and lucky for you, it ran on Love, you hopeless romantic,"

"A ship that runs on love? That's ridiculous."

"Apparently it's a British thing," Eris spoke around the pen cap as she made a few small notes. "Ok... so... time for me to get out of here, since the last thing I have to do is... Apple... right..."

She dug in the valise, before pulling out a small yellow fruit. She contemplated it for a moment, before looking at me.

"I mean, there's a lot of things we could do to drag this thing out a bit more, Penny" Eris sighed. "I mean, if you want to. "

"I don't... I don't know who this person you all keep talking about IS." I looked around the area, noting the tall hills of the California coastline, overlooking the pond. The flat portion of land that we stood on was slightly dusty, as the morning sun cooked the dirt path that led to the small muddy patch we were standing on. Nearby a simple bench was sunk into the earth, two metal poles forming t shapes with boards painted a deep brown placed atop them, riveted into place with folded over metal.

"Training montage? No... that's just... that's just dumb because it's not like we can just boss fight the entire system that his royal douchieness set up... Uh... thinking, uh... "

"What are you doing?" I asked, noticing that she had put the pen back into her mouth and was now scratching at her head.

"Uh... fuck... let's see... ooh solo adventure with each companion! That's always good for dragging things out a GOOD long while! We can keep the series going forever at that rate! Just go back and have a single adventure for each... I got it... quick, Penny, tell me about a time that you and Carla did something inconsequential that we can talk about for a while!"

"You're stalling," I noted as she rolled the fruit back and forth in her hands.

"Yeah, well, I was.... I was having fun. I don't get to have just... fun anymore. "

"Who is Penelope, REALLY? I read the wikipedia page, but I don't... I don't really know who she is," I asked, trying to puzzle things out. I had no memories of this person who people kept referencing.

"I can only tell you how I see you, Brent. I told you before, it changes things if I tell you things. There's a reason the Styx wipes out memory. It's so you can enjoy the game. Spoilers ruin it. Mortals get to play as many times as they want, and the game is new every time for you. You GET the chance to start over. Even get to twink spoilers to your next playthrough if you're smart about it and don't draw too much attention. Step-Dad... likes fucking with players. He likes watching people squirm."

"Draw attention?"

"Yeah, well some people don't want anybody else to enjoy themselves. Fucking Griefers. Worst of all is that Sir claims-all-shits claims that anybody who falls for it deserves to be a ****." Eris put the pen and Notebook back into her valise and again rolled the apple around in her hand.

"Hey, you ever see somebody do this?" She grinned, rolling the apple around her hand, down the back of one, rolling it up the other, then flipping her hand around to catch it before rapidly tossing it back and forth between them. "Seriously, amazing how much fun you can have with nothing."

"Can you just give me a straight answer?" I asked.

"Yes." She grinned, and said nothing further. Eris waited another moment, taking a few soft breaths, before smiling. "Oh that wasn't your question? What were we talking about? I think it involved you coming up with something fun to do that didn't involve making a choice."

"Why don't you want me to make a choice?" I asked, noting what she had specifically told me not to do.

"Because I'm not invited," Eris admitted. "You take the apple, you go have your wonderful choice between five fabulous prizes, and I just... go back to sleep and wait for the next game. It was fun... I mean, a lot of fun.... Just... didn't want it to end."