Not until tomorrow

The night continued with me in a haze. The movie was great. Seeing Kat smile was great. I wondered how much more beautiful she'd look smiling like that in a wedding dress. I just felt my shoulders relax and felt good thinking about it. We ended up walking back to Clara's home after the movie and just the entire night I was left in this happy daze.

We ended up going to bed together again. She curled up next to me being the little spoon. I hugged her and fell asleep in this happy bliss.

The next morning, I noticed Kat sleeping next to me and tried to slip out of bed undetected. What the fuck. God, yesterday. I remember the haze but why. I pictured the movie and felt a wave of calmness. No, no. Bad! I slapped my face. I walked over to a desk and pulled out a pen and paper. This had to be a belief trigger. But what was it?

Ugh. I couldn't be sure, but decided to write down the things we were doing yesterday. Movie? I thought about different movies and no immediate effect. Even the beginning movie we watched didn't trigger anything but when they went to get a wedding-

Uh that just feels good.

I slapped myself again. This time, Kat got up and noticed. "Why are you hitting yourself?"

"I need to keep a clear mind," I said. I had to avoid thinking about... that word. I could do it. I could do it.

"Please don't hurt yourself," Kat said.

Looking at her. Her hair all curled from the pillow, her eyes pleading with me. It was a strange sensation. "I'll try," I said. "I need to go. I gotta work out today."

With the choice made, I could feel my body already forcing me to walk outside. Which was fine. As much I hated everything about this, a **** workout really wasn't anything that I was going to complain too heavily about. And like Kat last night, if I focused on how I wanted to move my body, I could actually do it without the sensation of losing my autonomy. Which was a relief.

After I finished my run, I found myself doing pushups and by the 25th rep, Lisa approached me.

"Having fun?" she asked.

"Tons!" I said sarcastically.

"You know, I been thinking. I think I should thank you," she said. "I been struggling, wondering how I felt about things. But I don't anymore."

"Oh? You finally going to help-"

She laughed. "No. Or not in how you mean. See, when you involved Sarah, I felt so much fear and tension again. I hadn't felt that since my own game. I kind of like it. No, in the normal sense of the word. I am your enemy for now. Because Sarah is going to be the 9th winner, not you. You should just enjoy daydreaming about your wedding."

The wave coursed through me as I did my 40th push up. Damn it. I can't stop doing push ups. But, it suddenly felt harder and I just-

"Here," she said handing me a water bottle.

I grabbed it and took a drink. Thankfully the workout didn't **** me to do it without breaks. I just couldn't do anything besides the break or the spell would **** me back into pushups.

"Such a nice thought isn't it? Your wedding. Working so hard for you to look good in your dress. I admire your dedication," she said.

My head felt dizzy. "Wait.... no... don't."

"White dress, beautiful smile. All the eyes on you. Looking your best," she said.

My hands were shaking as I got back to push ups. It was hard to think about anything else. "You.... please. Stop."

"You figured it out? Weddings make you feel good. That was my idea. My punishment for what you did to Sarah," she paused before standing up. "In a sense I forgive you, but I don't want you to win. Not just because I want Sarah to be #9 but because your dangerous. You could cause more pain as a free girl. So you just need to give in. Be a good little lesbian and enjoy your wedding. Oh and if you dare try and mess with me or Sarah or any other winner. I will not forgive that. I don't think Samuel will either."

I tried to form words but the combination of my muscles moving, the thoughts about my wedding. My fit body looking beautiful. It just made me feel so happy and relaxed. God damn it. I wanted to pause to slap myself but that wasn't a break. My hands just helpless continued doing pushups. By the time I finished doing pushups. Lisa was gone.

Once free from all the exercises, I just felt my face. It felt so unreal. The dumbass smile I could feel on my face.

How was I supposed fight back when it was hard to even think straight?

On my way back to campus. I noticed Samuel was sitting in front of his door doing something.