Not the whole truth...

"It may... not have been what you thought." His eyebrows arch in surprise. "I mean, it's true that Tully, er, took me against my will... at least my rational will, but I was... no maiden before." At this there is a stunned silence from your companion. You had better fill the void left by your revelation before his imagination fills it ahead of you. "Yesterday morning, as the abbey fell... briefly before I escaped, I was... **** by one of the attackers." You do not mention that he was a daemon - an imp, lowly servant of the Dark Ones - hoping instead that Ramos will assume it was simply a man who took your virginity. "The War Mother slew him when she found us. She cleansed me of his lustful poison, and bade me to Gerlangen before returning to the keep to defend the sisters. I have already been... been defiled in the eyes of the Goddess."

"It was my understanding that the loss of your chastity would sever you from the Burning Rose... that once you were no longer a maiden, you could no longer be a member of the order. El... Eliza told me as such in one of her letters." In this light, the thought of Eliza's probable fate is too hard to bear for both of you and you avert your eyes from one another.

"That is true," you reply simply. "Since I was fucked I have not felt any answer to my prayers to her. I feel alone now in a way that I have not since joining the order as a child."

"Yet you follow your War Mother's charge nonetheless."

"I do. I know not why. This morning, it feels more hopeless than ever. My chastity is but a memory; my vow is ruined. What little power I had is lost. All I have is a warhorse, whom I am unworthy to ride."

"I know why you continue, Sabine." His quiet voice is firm. He speaks as though to a child. "Young as you are - merely a novice - you have little power to fight those who would destroy the order. Yet it is your home. Your sisters are your family. Those who yet live, protected as they may be by your paladins and the keep, will surely die if no help reaches them. It is clear that despite your lack of strength at arms, their only hope of salvation comes with your reaching Gerlangen and mobilising the full strength of the order to relieve the White Rock abbey. Your chastity may be lost, but your vow to protect the order, and most importantly your loyalty, remain."

His words ring true. This humble man who seems to know you so well has the truth of it. The light of understanding floods across you like a welcome dawn. Perhaps you can, tainted though you may be, save the order from destruction. You look up at Ramos, who studies you intently. He has already killed on your behalf - though probably out of loyalty to the sister whose life he fears for than out of loyalty to you - perhaps he would consider aiding you in your journey to Gerlangen. It may be too much to ask, but you are beginning to feel that you have ****.

"Ramos, I... will likely not reach Gerlangen on my own."

"I know." You can see conflict in his mind. It is written across his face and body. After a minute he squares his shoulders in apparent decision. "I will go with you, Sabine. It may be the only way I can do something to save my sister."

The relief that follows is ****. You will have a companion; a protector. Someone who knows the wilderness, who can hunt and forage. Somebody who can fight, should it become necessary. It was more than you could ask the man, and yet he offered it without you needing to.

"We will have to travel to my home first. My family has need of the food I have gathered. We can rest there a night and it is only two days thence to Gerlangen. My daughter will love you, though I fear my wife will... suspect my motives."

"Ramos, I cannot begin to thank you. Know that the Order will owe you a great deal of gratitude. I know not if that will mean much come the next full moon, but then we may have something to say about that."

"Up then, child. There is much ground to cover. You had best equip yourself from Tully's things. Most of the blood should wash off, or failing that cover it with mud. We must be afoot within thirty minutes."