Not the gourd...

I rooted through the vegetable drawer, biting my lip. Just hanging around the house like this, not a stitch on, was already giving me that excited, nervous feeling, even though there was no one else here. It was weird being naked in the kitchen. Doubly so to feel the cool air of the fridge on my skin.

I wrapped my fingers around a cucumber and my thoughts went immediately to the obscene. This was... too much. I couldn't possibly...

I wasn't here for that! I shook my head. It was plenty thick enough to cover up my little pink areolas, if only there was a way to get the slices to stick. I pulled tit out and took it to the sink, letting the fridge close. I rinsed it off, my obscene thoughts about the cucumber lingering as my eyes wandered to the small, hook-shaped gourd on the kitchen table.

That would never work...

I sliced a few promising pieces off the cucumber, and measured them up against the tips of my small breasts, shivering a little smile at the chill against my sensitive skin. My nipples nearly wanted to push right through the soft center of the slice, but it was certainly big enough to cover my areola. I tried to think, what would make them stick?

I tried honey. I rubbed it gently into my nipple, biting my lip against the sensation. The cucumber slices wouldn't stick. They tasted alright with the honey, though, and it felt even better wiping the honey off than it'd felt wiping it on.

I set the slices on some paper towels, imagining drying them might help, and tried to think of another option to get the slices to stick. I let my hand tease gently at my furry little lips as I thought, a finger slipping in to find my very wet little clitty happy for some attention. I sighed. I mean, it was hardly the first time I'd masturbated in the kitchen, but I wasn't usually totally naked too...

Peanut butter! I pulled my hand away and reached into the cupboard for a jar. Smooth or crunchy... or maybe the Nutella? Well, probably not the crunchy, but the Nutella is thicker than the smooth peanut butter... Let's try both!

I opened each, scooping a dallop onto my finger tips in each hand, and rubbed them gently against my nipples. I sighed, audibly, soaking in the feeling. My pussy was aching for more attention too...

I bit my lip, licking my fingers clean, and pressed cucumber slices to my gooey nipples. They stuck! I shook my chest a little side to side. There wasn't much wild jostling going on, but they both seemed to be happy not to budge. Success!

The door bell rang.

"Fuck!" My eyes went wide. I needed to put some clothes on!

Strip myself to the world...

Oh my god, whoever was at the door was about to meet a completely insane girl.

Feeling terrified at the fact that I was about to make a total idiot of myself, I glanced around for something to cover my little brown bush. The cucumber wouldn't quite do the trick. My eyes stopped at the gourd and I couldn't not think about it.

The door bell rang again.

Shit. "Just a second!" I shouted out to whoever it was. I had to move. It was... curved? Curved enough, probably? If I could keep the tip in, the ball at the end would probably cover me up?

It'd just look like I was carrying a little pumpkin. In my crotch. With no hands.

This was crazy, but, it felt... perfect.

I grabbed the gourd and rinsed it off. It was... thicker than I thought. I was getting an entirely different kind of nervous. I was already mildly freaking out inside at the thought of answering the door with a gourd and two cucumber slices to cover me up, but now I was freaking out a little more at having to shove this rather large gourd up my... well...

Pussy.

And it was kinda… dry. I glanced around. My lube was in my room, and I was already taking forever to answer the door. Olive oil? This is such a bad idea, I'm going to get a UTI for sure... I'll just wash thoroughly later!

I poured a little olive oil in my hand from the bottle by the stove and started stroking my veggie-cock. It spread easily, and I reached my hand down to find that so did I. We were both all lubed up. It was now or never!

I lifted a leg slightly, and gently pushed the tip of the gourd against my little hole. "Mngh…" I grunted a little, forcing it tenderly in. I gasped, it felt huge inside me, and it wasn't even in far enough yet. I squatted down, working it in and out, sliding it deeper, letting out happy little sighs as I did.

It was in. Time to meet my visitor! I walked awkwardly to the door, adjusting my cucumber slices, the big ball at my crotch knocking against my thighs with each step, twisting uncomfortably inside of me. I bit my lip, steadying myself for the pending humiliation, and reached for the knob.