Of all the things she could have said, I wasn't expecting such a bombshell. Okay, maybe it wasn't far off the mark, but in that situation it was enough to throw me off. "How did you know?" I dumbly replied, mentally kicking myself a second after the words left my mouth.
"I didn't! It was a guess," Amy laughed, throwing back her arms in a yawn. "Anyone would think something was up when you started fondling my ass in the middle of running. Again, no complaints there. ...I honestly thought you were going to ask Elizabeth out, though. The two of you looked so adorable as a couple, and she obviously had the hots for you."
For a moment Elizabeth's wistful expression from a few nights ago appeared in my mind's eye again, before fading into Amy's strangely serene, smiling face. "I... I guess I didn't notice," I mumbled.
"Seriously?! Man, Ian. Sometimes I can't get over how moronic you can be sometimes," grinned Amy.
"Elizabeth's a great girl. And an even better friend. But this isn't about her." Before I knew what I was doing I had clasped Amy's hands in my own. "It's about you."
"Ian? What - "
"Amy, I do want to ask you to go to the prom with me, but... I was thinking of more than that," I said, cheeks flushing as I did. "You were the one who gave me the motivation to keep improving myself, to go beyond the sad, lonely geek I used to be. You're the most honest and open person I know, with yourself and with everyone else. But most of all, you fill me with confidence. When I look at you, I feel as if I could achieve anything I want, be who I want to be... with you standing next to me."
I paused, mostly for breath and to keep myself in check before I babbled on. It was a wise idea. For the first time in ever, Amy looked at me in absolute stunned silence; an expression I could never have imagined her making.
"Ian, I..."
"I know what you think about romance and mushy stuff like that... but the fact is, I've fallen in love with you," I stated, more clearly and with more conviction that I could remember displaying. "And I needed to let you know. I can't lie to myself or hide it away any longer - because you taught me to have the initiative to be true to myself."
I looked into Amy's eyes. For all appearances, it looked as if she had stopped breathing. There was no jesting punch on the arm, no smartass wisecrack, not even a hint of a "You're such a weird guy, Ian." In one sense it was comforting to know that she wasn't pushing me away or immediately disgusted by the idea.
And yet, her not saying anything made the seconds of silence ticking away all the more unbearable. What have I done? My inner voice screamed at myself. I just told the most anti-romance girl I know that I LOVED her!
"Say anything," I willed her silently, trying to calm the raging thoughts in my brain before I went into full-on freak-out mode. "Anything."
Comments