Nobody is ever old ill or ugly, but women are never monogamous

Funny side note. I'm trying to describe an emotion I'm incapable of feeling (Doh! I've given away my real identity). Wish me luck!

You wake up. It was a nice dream, but unfortunately you and your wife were stuck with being old.

If only...

As you stretch, you notice your wife isn't in bed next to you.

Maybe she needs to be in work early or something.

You walk into your en suite, and look into the mirror. You are quite surprised to find your beer belly is gone; as is your bald patch; and your grey hairs; and your wrinkles. In fact, you look like you did in your early twenties.

What the!? Does this mean the dream was right? How is this possible? The evidence was right there though. You even feel young.

You go back to your bedroom and check your phone. Indeed, you find every picture of you and your wife, except for the fact that you never age in any of them. More curious still, she never seemed to wear clothes.

Wait, what!?

You decided to look up public decency laws, and see if this was legal. Sure enough it was legal for a woman to be completely naked, but not a man. You then googled "clothed woman", only to find results about trans women complaining that they were being to wear clothes, and a few about protective clothing, like coats or health and safety regulations.

As you were reading about such clothing, you noticed a section which discussed diapers. Apparently, some occupations that required either, protective gear over the genitals, or for an area to not be contaminated, had to provide female employees with diapers, so as to allow them to work there. There was also some discussion as to whether these "masculine behaviours" might put women off STEM.

Ok, so were all women incontinent or something? You then looked up "woman going to the toilet" only to find trans women complaining about being arrested for urinating and defecating where any cis women is allowed to, namely, anywhere. There was also a fascinating result arguing that trans women should also be allowed to ejaculate anywhere as well, given that cis women are allowed to masturbate to orgasm in public, and that semen is no worse than pee.

You then found an MRA website complaining that women are allowed, and even expected to: expose their genitals; pee, poo and masturbate wherever they happen to be, upon feeling the slightest urge; and have sex with multiple men, even when in a relationship or married regardless of how their partner feels about it, whenever they fancy it. Meanwhile men are expected to: wear clothes; go to the toilet; masturbate in private; and remain faithful to their wives and girlfriends. These people generally managed to gain ire, essentially a scolding, from men and women alike.

Throughout all of this there were some familiar themes. TERFs arguing against intersectional feminists. Conservatives trying to demean trans people by making them act like the gender on their birth certificate.

Plus ça change, eh?

You finish your research, and take a deep breath. You have so much to think about, so much to process. Does this mean your wife is having sex with other men? Does she pee around the house?

A few sniffs confirms that it certainly smells like it.

You have to admit, you don't like this. It feels like a nightmare. You feel helplessly trapped in a social order that allows your wife to rip your heart to shreds. You feel enraged, like you could punch a hole right through the wall. You don't want to be with her, while she... shags other men like some whore.

You feel sick. The emotions are too much, you need to take a deep breath and learn to accept the conditions you have been given.

You have to admit, being young again does have it's advantages.

And thinking about it, you do feel aroused at the thought of your wife screwing other men.

ARGH! So conflicted!

Your train of thought is interrupted by the words "Honey, I'm home!"