No point in lying to her

I blushed a bit at being caught, but there was nothing I could do for it but give her a discreet nod.

“What are you guys whispering about?” Stephanie frowned, pretending to be offended.

“We were… just whispering about how weird it is that you girls are all single!” Elizabeth responded.

That earned her a round of boos from the crowd, who all offered up various excuses about being “too busy” or “still looking for the right guy.”

Amy just laughed and said, “Are you fucking kidding me? I’ve got a fucking four-year-old! When would I have time to date? Maybe you could just let me borrow Ian for this weekend, while my dad is watching T-Rex.”

“Huh?” Talia asked.

“Oh sorry,” Amy laughed, “Adam insists that everybody call him ‘T-Rex.’ He’s really into dinosaurs.”

Elizabeth clicked her tongue in mock-disapproval. “I’m sorry to change the subject, but did you just ask to borrow my husband?”

“Only for the weekend!” Amy exclaimed, laughing. “I’ll bring him back in one piece.”

“Well, once piece IS all you need,” Stephanie joked.

Corrine cut in, “Can I say something? I know you’re all thinking the same thing, you’re just too shy to say it. So, for the record, I just want to say that I was right. Ian? You are totally hot at thirty.”

I blushed as the others all emphatically agreed with her.

“Hey, I’m still just twenty nine,” I argued.

“Oh, close enough! Point is, I said you’d get really cute, and you did! Your face just… fits you better than it used to. I don’t know. Everything kind of settled into place. And you look bigger, like you’ve been working out.”

Elizabeth hugged me proudly, saying, “He has! He lifts weights and stuff now. You should see him without his shirt on, he has these great big muscles.”

She was exaggerating, of course. I was happy with the way I looked, but I wasn’t exactly hiding the torso of a Spartan warrior beneath my shirt.

“Show us!” Amy cheered.

“Yeah, show us!” the other women echoed.

“Thanks, guys,” I mumbled. “You all look amazing, as well.”

But that didn’t satisfy anyone. They all took up the chant: “Take–it-off! Take-it-off!” Even my wife started cheering for me to disrobe. I guess she wanted to show me off to her friends.

“Come on, it’s my birthday! Why should I be the one taking my clothes off?”

Talia jumped to her feet, shouting, “Democracy, that’s why! You’re outvoted. Now take off your shirt or it means you’re a communist.”