No Such Luck

Any hope of a stealthy exit evaporated as soon as I opened my door. The lady across the hall from me must have been watching through the peephole. As soon as my door opened, hers swung open to reveal a furious petite brunette.

"Ah, there he is. The noisiest fucker in this entire building. You know I called the super on you? You got lucky that you quieted down right as they came by last night. But no, that relief was short lived, wasn't it?"

Sigh. "Good morning Mrs. Chase. Sorry about the noise last night, I guess we got carried away." I made the move to disengage, pointing Siobhan towards the elevator while I went to lock my apartment door.

"Carried away? That's putting it mildly you asshole. Some of us have jobs, and lives. We can't all stay up late listening to you fuck this tattooed floozey."

To her credit, Siobhan had been trying to keep her head down and stay out of it. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw her shoulders clench, and I knew something Mrs. Chase didn't. She was perilously close to starting something far bigger than she had been prepared for when she opened the door.

"Easy, Carri, we're leaving now. Besides, it's Saturday, and if for no other reason than you've had construction going on in your apartment for the last six weeks, you owe me a little consideration. Again, I'm sorry we were so noisy, but that's no reason to attack my friend. Now, if you'll excuse me..."

"Friend?" Mrs. Chase continued unabated. "Is that what you're calling it now? Not fuckbuddy or side piece? I know how you kids are these days. Good lord girl, do you have any idea how bad those tattoos will look when you're older? You've got more ink than skin."

"What? You're like four years older than me. Screw it. We're out of here. Before you think to call the super on me again Carri, remember that shit cuts both ways. Next time you're in a screaming match with your husband, I might return the favor."

I turned away from my irate neighbor to see Siobhan with a wicked grin on her face. "Come on Luke. We were awful loud last night. And this morning. And probably will be again tonight. Let's leave granny here to her beauty sleep." If we were in a cartoon, there would have been literal steam coming out of Mrs. Chase's ears, and there almost certainly would have been a tea kettle sound effect. I guided Siobhan into the elevator and quickly hit the close door and ground floor button.

"COME BACK HERE YOU SLUT!!!" Echoed throughout the elevator as we began our descent.

"Hey Luke...can I see the Eye of Ceridwen real quick?"

"...sure." I fish the onyx die out of my pocket. "What do you want it for?" I ask as I hand it over to her.

The mischievous look in her eye is unmistakable as she winks at me. "Oh, your neighbor seems to be awfully judgmental about me. I'm just curious what she would be like if she was...more like me!" Then before I could respond, she tossed the die to the floor, sending it bouncing along, until it came to a rest on a...