No one.

Must have knocked my brains a little loose with that hit as there was no one for me to instantly recognize.

I hadn’t even gotten a good look at who’d run into me, they were already halfway down the street. It was a flash of red and blue with black hair, a figure bouncing with an almost unnatural elasticity. “Hey!” I shouted, more out of reflex than any real expectation they’d hear me. They didn’t. They just kept going. I rubbed my backside, grumbling.

“Some people…” I muttered. Then, a slow realization dawned. The straw hat… the bouncing gait… it couldn’t be. I cast my mind back to that brief, chaotic encounter aboard Alvida’s ship, the kid with the stretchy limbs, the one Koby had been tagging along with. The rubber idiot. “That was… ‘Straw Hat’ Luffy,” I said aloud.

But after only a few moments, I shrugged. Strictly speaking, the hunt for him was Alvida and Buggy’s thing. I didn’t actually care. And honestly, just going after the Strawhat guy and his companions was just as good as any other plan as far as I was concerned. I was just along for the ride and the adventure, meeting hot women, fucking them, and using my cool powers to make towns and whole communities into absurd sexy shows.

Huh. That reminds me. I should totally do something to my home village… Can’t believe I forgot about it. Well, then again it was a pretty small and boring place.

So I continued to saunter through the streets of Loguetown. The populace, in their blissful ignorance, carried on with their mundane routines, completely oblivious to the impending pandemonium of whatever craziness Buggy and Alvida had planned once they caught that guy.

My route to the arms shop took me along the Loguetown boardwalk.

As I neared Robecca Hanberg's, a boutique with swinging saloon doors, an excitable voice drifted out onto the street. “Incredible! A vision! Such… assets!” I paused, intrigued by the sheer enthusiasm. The voice belonged to the shopkeeper, a man with the bizarre distinction of having hair styled into the precise shape of a wire coat hanger. Pushing through the doors, I discovered the object of his admiration.

She posed before a mirror, an image of extravagant beauty. A pristine white corset, crisscrossed with black ties, clung to her figure, dramatically accentuating the ample curves of her bust. A plush white fur cloak rested on her shoulders, complemented by a light purple, fur-trimmed skirt that traced the elegant line of her hips and legs. The effect was… captivating.

The shopkeeper continued his breathless commentary on her physical attributes. I immediately recognized her.

This was Nami, the Straw Hat’s navigator, the one who had stole their ship and led them on a merry chase to Arlong Park.

A slow, calculating smile spread across my face.