Night with Krampus (Christmas Special)

Twas the night before Christmas, and deep in his nook, a witch had his nose deep in a book. The demonia compendium is what is was called. And the passage inside had the young witch enthralled.

“You know, I thought this narrator incantation would be fun but it’s just annoying.” The witch, John Doe, flicked his wrist and with a stir in the air the room fell silent. “ Now where was I, oh yes chapter 12 demons of the seasons part 6, Krampus.” He turned to look back in his book and brought his finger to the beginning of the next passage.

“You know of Saint Nicholas, who rewards good children. But the brightest lights cast the darkest shadows, and few are colder than the demon spirit of Krampus. Where Nicholas comes to give and reward, Krampus comes to punish. Krampus can be identified by the wooden switch he carries to smack the rears of naughty children, and his huge sack he tosses them in before stealing them away.” John smirked a little. The idea of an evil Santa was a little silly. But past experiences had taught him never to underestimate any demon.

He got up to prepare for bed, when he heard a loud clutter from outside his room. His home was supposed to be empty, so he was immediately on his guard. He opened the door slowly and looked out before calling out.

“Hello?” But there was no answer. He slowly made his way out into the hall. As he made his way down he heard another stir. John held an arm up ready to defend himself if he found something. He turned the corner into the living room and was taken aback by what he saw.

Hunched over the table was a large figure in a red coat. From where he stood John could see large twisting horns from the top of it’s head and long pointed ears. The figure stood and it turned to face and gave a wicked smile.

“You know these are actually some really good cookies you have kid. Hope you don’t mind I snagged them from the kitchen on my way in.” John was more than a bit confused. The creature before him spoke English, and from the horns he guessed it was a demon. Despite some of his more exaggerate features, like the horns and ears, the creature was actually strangely handsome. He had sharp features, and a short beard, and his red coat was opened to show off a surprisingly hairy and muscular chest.

“I’m sorry but, who are you and why are you in my home?”

“Oh come on, I know you were just reading about me.”

“How do you know what I was doing?” John was a bit too surprised to really understand what the demon had said. Then it hit him. “Wait, you’re Krampus?”

“Ding Ding kiddo.” The demon gestured with its long fingers and grinned again. “And I know everything about you. The other guy is not the only one who sees you when you’re sleeping, and knows when you’re awake.”

“So you’ve been stalking me.” John bit his tongue the moment the words came out. Not many demons were known to take disrespect lightly, but Krampus merely reared his head back and gave a belt of laughter.

“I prefer to think of it as a full-time assessment.”

“You still haven’t told me why you’re here.”

“Isn’t obvious?” Krampus gave a lick of his lips, “I’m here because you’re on my naughty list.”

“I’m what?” John was again stunned by what he was hearing. “You can’t be serious. I’m not a child anymore. I can’t be part of your stupid list thing.”

“True, my job is usually in handling brats who are too much for their parents to handle. But I’ve been keeping an eye on you. And I think you deserve a special grown-up package.”

“And what exactly did I do to get put on this “naughty list”” John exaggerate the last bit. He was clearly annoyed by just how ridiculous this situation was.

“Well, there was the incident with the Anderson twins and a voodoo doll.”

“Hey, they ended up enjoying that.”

“Then there was the time you possessed the body of your gym teacher.”

“That bastard had it coming.”

“And a whole bunch of other sexual escapades I could think of. So why don’t you be a good boy for a change, and take your punishment without complaint. Who knows, if you’re a good boy, I might even have a nice special present for you.”