Nicky's Baby

It wasn’t a dark and stormy night.

It should have been, but the fact was that it was a normal night. More precisely, it looked like a normal night. The wind, the cloud, the stars, the crescent moon, everything. A silent night that would give you a sound sleep. But don’t let the weather fool you. Evil never sleeps.

Two shadowy figures, one hunched and squat, the other lean and menacing, lurked in the ruined graveyard, in a time that no one wanted to step outside the house, let alone go to such a place.

Finally, after about twenty minutes, the lean one said:

"He should have been here an hour ago."

His name was Beel. He was a Duke of Hell.

The hunched one replied: "Do you believe that he'll arrive on time?"

This guy was Epophis, also a Duke of Hell.

"Nope."

"Correct answer. Demons shouldn't be believed, even by each other."

At that moment, a high-pitched sound sounded, then a blue flashing light penetrated the dark. A car appeared at the end of the road.

Epophis: "What's that he's driving?"

Beel: "It's a car. A horseless carriage. Didn’t they have them last time you were up here?

The car stopped at the gate of the graveyard. From it walked out a young man with brown hair. He wore a nice suit and an expensive pair of shoes. The kind of appearance that could impress most girls. And his name was Nick.

"And he wears sunglasses," sneered Beel, "even when he doesn't need to."

He raised his voice. "All hail Tathamet, the Source of All Evil!" he said.

"All hail Tathamet!" Epophis echoed.

"Hello, brothers. Bad to see you again," said Nick, giving them a little wave. "I'm late, but you know how many people populate the Earth these days. Actually, punctuality is a virtue, and we demons should not-"

"Now we are all here," Beel didn't allow him to finish, "to do our duty to The Power That Be. Excuses are about means. Only results matter."

"But The Power That Be seems to be satisfied with my results, doesn't he?" he said. "So what's up?"

Beel reached down behind a tombstone. He took out a bottle, which contained a white liquid that looked like milk.

"This is," he said.

Nicky stared at the bottle. Or rather, the symbol on it. He only saw it once, and he never wanted to see it a second time.

"Oh," he said. "No."

"Yes," said Beel, grinning.

"Already?"

"Yes."

"And, er, it's up to me to...?"

"Yes." Beel's tone showed a bit of impatience.

"Me?" said Nicky desperately. "You know me, Beel, I can't... You know, I'm not supposed to be able to have a child. . ."

"Just take it already!" Beel interrupted him, "This is your mission. Your starring role. Take it. You are wasting my time."

"Yeah," said Epophis, grinning. "Time is something that is running out."

"But... why me?"

"You are obviously highly favored by our Father," said Beel maliciously. "I imagine Epophis here would give his right arm for a chance like this."

"That's right," said Epophis. Someone's right arm, anyway. He thought. There were plenty of right arms around; no sense in wasting a good one.

Nick knew that if he continued to be ****, their "talking" would become a "horrifically painfully eternity tormenting". He took the bottle and, under the two's intense gaze, gulped it down.

"Who am I supposed to do with?" he said.

"You will receive instructions." Beel scowled. "Now, go!"