New Beginnings

“Yeah.” You feel a lump in your throat as you say it, but this is as good a time as any to really talk about Sam’s feelings for you, even if you haven’t really thought about them since she told you. Honestly, this is likely the best chance you’ll get for a short while, since you can’t exactly have this talk with anyone else listening and you don’t know how long you’ll be traveling once your sister picks you up. “Yeah, it’s probably a good idea.”

The silence, only mildly uncomfortable before, now feels like it has a physical weight. You don’t know how to continue the conversation, and Sam seems too nervous to move it forward. Silently cursing your ex for still making you awkward about this, you decide to brute-**** the problem.

“Okay!” Your outburst startles her, and you quickly lower your volume. “Okay.” Breathing in, you push yourself forward. “So… you like me. Non-platonically. You… you said you love me.”

“Yeah.” The redhead shifts uncomfortably, eyeing you with a mix of hope and trepidation.

“And we kissed just before… well, the world was probably going to shit before that, but just before it reached us.” She nods, blushing slightly as she recalls the moment in question.

“Yes. We did.” Biting her lip, she mets your eyes.

“And all that’s left is my answer.”

“I guess.” Sam seems to lose her nerve slightly, breaking eye contact. “I don’t want to **** you into anything, and I wasn’t going to get my hopes up too far, because I knew that you might say no, but I just… I need an answer of some kind, you know? So I can...” She trails off uncertainly.

“Of course.” You lean forward, resting your elbows on your knees, but turn slightly so you’re still facing her. You watch her, considering the question.

Do you love her? Absolutely. She’s your best friend, and you would always have her back in a pinch. You trust her, and she trusts you. Are you in love with her? You don’t know. You do consider her attractive, even beautiful, and there have been moments when you were talking to her, doing something with her or simply looking at her and you felt your pulse run fast. You care deeply for her, and want her to be happy. But something about saying you’re ‘in love’ leaves you feeling like you’re lying.

So no, you’re not in love with Sam.

But then the thought occurs: do you want to be? You know that you feel something, so is it possible it’s not purely sexual? The more you think, the more certain you are.

You like her. A lot. And it probably wouldn’t take much for you to fall the rest of the way. Your conclusion settles into your mind and you feel a warmth in your chest that you hadn’t felt since your last relationship crashed and burned.

Three years have passed since you were left emotionally drained by the girl who cheated on you and left you without a second thought, and you realize that maybe the only reason it’s impacted you so strongly for so long is because you never had a chance to accept that the relationship had ended. But now there’s a chance in front of you, and even if it’s coming at what some might call the worst possible time, this feels inexplicably right.

Focusing back on Sam, you see that she’s already resigned herself to the worst, her eyes shut tight as she waits for your answer. The brief tightness you feel when you see her hurting only confirms what you already knew, and makes you more sure of your decision.

“Sam...” She flinches a little, expecting a rejection. “I do have an answer.” She turns to you, her brow furrowed and her eyes on the verge of watering.

“And?”

“I don’t think I can say I’m in love with you.” You raise a hand before she can respond, realizing that you should probably have thought this out better. “But I do like you. A lot. I think… I think I’ve had a crush on you for a long time, but never really let myself admit that’s what it was.” She’s now staring at you, eyes wide and lips parted in surprise. “And I think I would like to try. I want to try this. You and me. If you’re okay with that.”

There’s a long moment where you don’t know if you’ve made the situation better or a hundred times worse, but as you see the smile spreading across the redhead’s face, you figure that even if it could have been said better, the essence of what you said was gleefully accepted. Leaning in, she wraps her arms around your shoulders, tucking her head under your chin as you lean back into her and hold her.

“I’d like that.” Turning her face up to you, her eyes are practically sparkling and the smile on her lips, though small, seems to light up your vision. And your eyes keep being drawn to it.

Unconsciously, you lean in, drawn forward like a magnet. Her eyes widen briefly before drifting closed, and your own close as she pulls herself up to meet you.

The kiss is cautious, at first, which is ironic given the intensity of the first you shared. It’s little more than your lips meeting hers, shared breaths and the racing of your pulse. But then, whether it was the depth of your feelings, the weight of the catastrophe that is settling in around you finally finding an escape, the beer, or simple need (on second thought, the beer definitely played a part, though you wouldn’t discount the other possibilities entirely), a switch seems to flip in both your minds.

The tentative contact turns into open-mouthed kissing, your hands roam her back and hers run over your shoulders and around your neck. She presses herself against you and you pull her in tighter. Your hand reaches down to her ass, settling around one round cheek and kneading gently, prompting Sam to moan into your mouth. Your blood racing with a predatory satisfaction at her reaction, you raise the intensity again and your tongue lunges between her lips.

You swallow her surprised gasp, reveling in the warmth of her body, the smell of her perfume, the feeling of her soft tits pressed against you, of her skin as your hand massages her rear. At some point you have changed positions so that she’s straddling your lap, and as you greedily squeeze her behind one of your fingers feels that she’s dripping wet, soaking the gusset of her tights.

She’s the one who breaks the contact, her hands holding your face, her blue eyes locked onto yours and her lips kiss-bruised. Her face is flushed and her pupils are blown wide, and as she settles into your lap you can practically see the moment she feels your hard-on through your pants.

“Oh, my.” She leans in again, her nose brushing against yours as her tone turns teasing. “What is that?” She presses herself down and you are now certain that you can feel a wet spot on the crotch of your trousers. She leans forward and you can feel her breath against your ear. “Did I do that to you, Michael?”

“If you did that then I did this.” Reaching between you with your other hand (so you can continue to enjoy massaging her ass) you press two fingers against her clit, prompting a whine to escape her throat as you feel her wet pussy.

“All’s fair then.” Her words are breathless and her tone is needy, and you can’t help but bring your hand back up to her chest, squeezing gently and grinning as you enjoy two handfuls of the squirming redhead in your lap.

“I wouldn’t say fair.” You fill your tone with mock-scandal as you continue your **** on her sensitive flesh, enjoying her low moans and soft gasps. “I’m all worked up now.” To emphasize your point, you give up on escaping this encounter with clean trousers and thrust upward, your clothed length rubbing against her barely-covered core and causing her to release a gasp that turns into a drawn out groan.

“Then maybe…” Sam bites her lip, her eyes flashing downward before meeting your gaze again. “Maybe we should have a little fun.”

“Oh?” While you’re not about to turn down the idea of indulging in your unfairly sexy kinda-girlfriend, you don’t know exactly she is thinking of doing. Grinning, she climbs up and stands before you, shucking off her blazer and rolling up her sleeves before bending forward (and causing you to have a slight internal crisis as your lust-fogged brain tries to decide between maintaining contact with the flashing blue of her eyes and enjoying the delectable view her position has given you to see down the collar of her shirt), and you feel like you should make a more intelligent response to the situation.