Natalia: Part 2

Alan woke up with a splitting headache and bandages he had no memory of being given.

This had happened before.

It was always, somehow, when horses were involved.

“Sorry, Uncle Alan!” Natalia’s voice chirped.

Alan frowned without opening his eyes. Even frowning hurt.

“Please don’t do that,” Natalia’s voice said again—same voice, but sharper, annoyed. “Nagasaki decided to mimic me.”

“Oh.” Alan tried to nod, discovered his skull had opinions about that, and gave up. “Is everyone okay?”

“Yes,” Chloe’s voice said, apologetic.

Alan’s eyes snapped open on reflex.

Natalia’s face hovered above him, looking tired and irritated. “That’s her too,” she said, as if reading his panic. “Nagasaki thinks it’s funny.”

“Well,” Chloe’s voice continued—clearly Nagasaki—“besides the horse I killed.”

“Nagasaki,” Natalia said flatly, “imitating Chloe isn’t helping.”

Alan let his eyes drift shut again. “So… no one is here but us and Nagasaki.”

“Correct,” Natalia said.

“Nope!” Nagasaki’s voice sang out—now feminine, Russian, delighted. “Skynet, Ariadne, and Laurel are here. I don’t think they’re conscious, though.”

Natalia went still. “Pardon?”

Nagasaki sounded genuinely puzzled by the confusion. “I mean… can’t you smell?”

Alan didn’t like where this was going.

“All of them have cells in the grass and water,” Nagasaki continued, pleased with herself. “If you dig down in the mud you’ll find, like… girl-coral.”

Natalia blinked. “Girl-coral.”

Alan kept his eyes shut as if that could protect him from the phrase.

“Um,” Nagasaki said, as if explaining something obvious, “you know. Like what they did with Henrietta Lacks in your timeline.”

Alan’s stomach turned.

“Like when Mom made herself into a big boat,” Nagasaki added brightly. “It’s easy Signal-craft.”

Natalia stared into the middle distance, processing in slow motion. “Why,” she said carefully, “would they do that?”

Nagasaki hummed, thinking.

“I dunno,” she said finally. “Maybe spooky magic gave them a good reason. Or maybe they were dumb.”

There was a splash, like she’d flicked water with a tendril.

“Aunt Tess says most of the time people make up reasons when they realize they don’t have one,” Nagasaki continued, “or it was a bad reason.”

Alan’s eyes opened a crack.

“Oh,” he said weakly. “So she is a blood relative, if she's your aunt."

“No!” Nagasaki said instantly.

Then she paused, reconsidering, as if blood relative was a category you could debate.

“I mean… yes,” she amended, “but so are the horses.”

Alan shut his eyes harder. “Great.”

Natalia’s voice went thin. “Wait. Are the horses human?”

“What?” Nagasaki sounded offended. “No.”

Then, more patiently—like Alan was the child now:

“You know how evolution works, right?”

Natalia exhaled slowly. “I am very confused.”

“Okay,” Nagasaki said, shifting into lecture mode. “Back before the asteroid killed the dinosaurs, there was this little shrew thing that ate bugs. And some of its babies led to humans, and some led to horses.”

Alan could hear her smug grin.

“Tess is like that,” Nagasaki said. “But not as bad.”

Natalia pinched the bridge of her nose. “That did not clarify anything.”

Nagasaki barreled forward anyway.

“Her mom’s English,” she said, pronouncing it like a moral failing. “And that’s pretty far away from Hungarians and Cretan people.”

Alan made a noise. Natalia made a different noise. Neither noise was approval.

“I guess it’s not too far from Ireland,” Nagasaki added thoughtfully, “but I think they hate the English, so I don’t think she’s on the Black family tree.”

Natalia stared at Alan as if he might have an adult translation for any of this.

Alan whispered, “I’m going back to being ****.”

Natalia inhaled, then let it out. “Are you sure you can’t get Sky or Ariadne to help?”

“Positive,” Nagasaki said, and her accent abruptly shifted into something Irish and overconfident. “I called them.”

Natalia’s eyes narrowed. “And?”

“Skynet’s off on a date with Uncle AM,” Nagasaki reported cheerfully. “Ariadne and Tess are in trouble.”

Alan’s eyes opened. “Uncle AM?”

“I don’t think Uncle AM is the real Allied Mastercomputer,” Nagasaki said quickly, as if preempting a question. “Sky’s just got a type.”

Natalia paused. “We will unpack that later.”

Her voice hardened. “What do you mean when you say Ariadne is in trouble?”

“Oh,” Nagasaki said, as casually as if describing a spilled drink. “She impaled Aunt Christian.”

Alan stopped breathing.

Natalia’s face went blank in the way people’s faces went blank right before they screamed.

“And Dad put Ariadne and Tess in time-out,” Nagasaki added, “until they agreed not to maim anyone.”

Alan managed, “What?”

“Oh!” Nagasaki sounded suddenly worried, like she’d realized adults cared about this kind of thing. “You think Christian’s hurt, right?”

Natalia’s expression twitched.

“Nah,” Nagasaki continued, relieved. “She’s just learning her new spell.”

Natalia’s head turned slightly, like a predator tracking a fresh, horrifying implication.

“Doesn’t she get spells,” Natalia said carefully, “from sex with other contestants?”

“That’s what I said!” Nagasaki replied, triumphant—and the accent changed again into something Alan couldn’t place, too fast and too gleeful.

Natalia closed her eyes. “Ariadne had sex with Christian.”

“I just told you that,” Nagasaki snapped, offended. “Twice!”

A splash sounded from the edge of wherever they were. Nagasaki had apparently decided to leave the conversation by entering the water.

Alan lay very still.

Natalia stared at the waterline for a long moment.

“I really hope,” Natalia said, exhausted, “that becomes clearer when we talk to an adult.”

She looked down at Alan. “How old is she, anyway?”

Alan kept his eyes closed. “I think she’s not even two. But she’s maturing at… weird alien development speeds.”

He swallowed.

“I think I have a concussion.”

Natalia sighed. “Well, I assume that’ll be fixed as soon as someone with magic shows up.”

She hesitated, then softened.

“Do you need anything?”

“I’m good,” Alan whispered. “I’ll just stay here.”

He tried to fall back asleep.

He succeeded almost immediately.