Naive and Erotic Roommates, by BBBlooster

“Wow, Marcie this sounds particularly stupid.”

“The title or the username?”

“Both.”

“I do have to admit that “Naive and Erotic Roommates, by BBBlooster” doesn't exactly roll of the tongue, but it's not like me shoehorning in the title like that helps in that regard.”

“At least the title is self explanatory enough. That name tough, did the author have a stroke while typing?”

“Quite possible. He did warn us that his grammar might not be up to our standards.”

“Oh, another one of these cute fuckers, ey? Oh pardon me, mademoiselles! My grammar is not quite satisfactory, la di da! Pompous pricks. You know, the guys with the real atrocious spelling never say that!”

“Now then, according to the tags this promises misogyny, Christianity, and Rina's favorite fetish Somnophilia, so are you ready for a good time?”

“No.”

READING IN PROGRESS (BGM)

“Ok.”

“Your thoughts, Gina?”

“You know, after all the crazy stories we had recently, it's nice to just read about a run of the mill sleazebag for a change.”

“Indeed, this might actually be the most mundane story we ever featured here.”

“You do the synopsis.”

“Very well. You are generic loser Arthur Allen(name customisable) and have just moved into a new, very cheap and very luxurious apartment. The catch is, you have to share it with two very attractive and extremely gullible girls.”

“Happens all the time.”

“These two girls, Amanda and Mary, are part of some rather fundamental christian church that basically tells them they have to be extremely submissive to men. You can see where this is going.”

“I can appreciate that there is a reason why these two are retarded.”

“I suppose it is slightly more effort then what you usually see. The ultimate outcome is the same tough, our main protagonist starts to them...eventually.”

“I hope you like your steak rare, because this is a sloooow burn.”

“Wouldn't your steak be well done then?”

“Oh, for fucks sake Marcie, don't ruin my joke!”

“But, don't worry, Arthur may not resort to outright , but he certainly takes advantage of them. Mostly trough unpaid labor while he ogles them.”

“Eh, that's just asserting dominance. I didn't do a single chore after my mother popped out Tom.”

“Oh boy, maybe I was too harsh with him.”

“And speaking of ogling. What is it with this huge fixation on butts?”

“Ah yes, this is what we in the trade call an ass-man.”

“All I'm getting from that is that they are fat.”

“No, I don't think that was the intention. This is called being thick.”

“Actually, I think it's thicc.”

“No, that's grammatically incorrect.”

“I mean yeah, but they still call it...”

“I do not care what some mentally handicapped mongrel vomited out. I will not sit here and watch some mouth breathing jackanapes the English language!"

“Ok, geez calm down. Just because you have a big butt...”

“W.H.A.T.D.I.D.Y.O.U.J.U.S.T.S.A.Y?”

“Nothing! So, Arthur, huh? Sure is a slimy bastard. Like when he molests Amanda when she passes out from exhaustion.”

“Reminds me of that scene from Evangelion. You know the one.”

“No, I don't.”

“But, yeah, if someone passes out, you might want to take it easy. But then again, I'm probably the only person who thinks so at our school. At the very least no penetration occurred.”

“I was actually surprised Arthur would chicken out like that. Pussy ass bitch can't even someone properly.”

“He does make a token effort of feeling bad. But his moral compass clearly points south. While things haven't escalated to outright , I feel it's only a matter of time.”

“Especially with that new girl who masturbates to Amanda in public. Ugh, this is why I hate nerds. They constantly jerk off to you.”

“Hm, Jennifer was it? I am looking forward to what becomes of her. Although that lisp is somewhat annoying to deal with. I can't help but imagine her as Daffy Duck.”

“Oh yeah, that's what we need here. Masturbating Daffy Duck.”

“I'm sure it's on Deviantart.”

“And that's where we are, so what do you think Marcie?”

“The grammar was pretty poor. Very weird mistakes too. Mostly capitalization and punctuation errors, which I feel could be corrected with little effort. Still, far from the worst we had here.”

“You didn't faint this time, so the grammar is only regular garbage, not hot garbage.”

“I can appreciate the slow burn of the story. There are still enough erotic scenes to tide you over without resorting to outright sex.”

“Also, it pisses off the virgins on this site. Always a plus.”

“The big focus on rears was somewhat off putting. It's a fetish of course, so I can't dock the author too much for it. But if it's that prominent I think it should have been put in the title or description.”

“I mean the dude has a giant ass as profile pic. He isn't exactly subtle about it.”

“That is true. Now, as for the masturbation question...”

“Nope, I don't like fat girls.”

“I don't think they...oh forget it. Yes, it wasn't particular to my taste either. Morons just aren't doing it for me.”

“And I think this is all we are getting out of this one.”

“I concur. Any closing thoughts, Gina?”

“Meh.”

“Riveting as always.”