Monica & Jess read Naive & Erotic Roommates by BBBlooster

"Alright, Jess, Naive and Erotic Roommates is customisable."

"Did BBBlooster have a stroke while typing his name?"

"I'm gonna put Warren... actually our author never gave him a last name. Okay, I'll go with Hartley. He and Violet are now Hartleys."

"You sure you're gonna be okay. I know how upset you got over Cutie and all the male rapists in Dustin Stories."

"Apparently its a male led story so as long as I can project myself through him, I should be okay."

READING IN PROGRESS

Checking your old bedroom mirror one last time you have a moment to take in your appearance, your name is Warren Hartley and wow, You truly are Mr average. standing 6ft tall with a slim healthy build, dark brown hair and eyes.

"That is not too far off from our Warren, Jess."

"So why is it okay for us to have a male character in our story?"

"He was kinda a package deal. Violet wouldn't join the Anime Club unless he joined."

"I found a typo."

to the left stands a small building with an open window and counter, visible inside is a professionally dressed and clean cut security guard sitting slouched in his chair, distractedly eying a magazine and sipping from a large steaming tea cup.

"That T should be a capital and what are "take thirties"?"

"I think the author means late thirties. I'm a little wary of that male guard. I hope Warren doesn't have gay sex with him. I'm here for the girls."

"Bloster, I can't be bothered spelling his name correctly, keeps beginning his sentences without the capitals and he spelt "I'm" wrong. Its "I'm", not "Im"."

"I think we'll be at this all day if you point out every typo, Jess."

Ah fuck, a religious girl, well there’s that train of thought out the window.

"Don't tell me Warren's an atheist. He's gonna go to hell."

As Amanda Turns and begins heading up the front steps, you find your vision is suddenly filled with one of the biggest asses you’ve ever seen, hypnotically wobbling up and down with the motion of her legs.

"God dammit, Amanda's a fat chick!"

"And why does "turns" have a capital? I also resent how the author thinks us Christians are naive about sex."

"What do you know about sex?"

"That you'll go to hell if you to it before you're married although Bloster is probably going to go to hell anyway for his inability to begin his sentences with capital letters."

"Is there some commandment I don't know about? An eleventh commandant that thou shall use proper grammar and punctuation or be damned to hell?"

She continues “It’s a woman’s job to cook and clean. Our churches teachings are very clear, it’s our natural place in life.”

"Fuck you, Bloster!"

"Calm down, Jess, I don't think Bloster actually thinks that."

"But he thinks my religion does. He should go to a Muslim country and see how women are treated there."

"I'm pretty sure removing clitoris' violates CHYOA's rules."

As she works Amanda slowly begins speaking to you, “I’m sorry about Mary by the way” the girl in question had long since slipped away from the room “she’s been this shy all her life. She even had to be homeschooled as a child because of it”
Huh. You’re struck with a pang of sadness as you consider the everyday implications of actually living like that.
“I only met her in secondary school, there she could be surrounded by members of our church, so it was a bit easier for her”

"I think Mary might be in a cult."

"Fuck you, Monica, this whole story offends me."

Amanda looks at you with sadness, pity in her eyes. “Oh Warren that’s too bad. My dad says other schools teach all sorts of bad ideas, like science and Feminism, and that they even let boys and girls mingle with each other unsupervised! It must be awful.”

"Oh yes, of course, all Christians deny science. This is so full of straw, I wouldn't be surprised if Bloster revealed that the inquisition still exists in this universe."

"While I disagree about science being bad, Amanda's dad does have a point."

"That is a surprise, I didn't think that you'd be interested in Christianity."

"No, Jess, what I mean is that an all girl school would be great as there would be no boys to take my girls away from me."

"You do realise, that this school probably stones gays, right?"

"It turns Amanda and Mary are part of some fictional sect of Christianity so I don't think Bloster intends this story to be a condemnation of the religion as a whole."

"Yeah, but its always my religion that gets that shit. Its not like anyone else's is any better."

As fast as you can, right in the middle of the kitchen you tear down your jeans and underwear in a swift motion, and your painfully hard cock springs out, slapping your stomach. you can see your usually already huge balls have swollen to the size of a fist each, twitching and overloaded with cum, and before you can even touch yourself a thick string of sticky precum drools out, creating a puddle on the floor.

"Is this a cartoon, Jess? There is no way a ball can be the size of a fist."

To Marys chagrin, Amanda manages to make you all sit down later to watch a movie together, some stupid Christian B movie about the evils of tabletop roleplaying games.

"Is this story set in the 80s, Monica?"

"I'm just disappointed there has been no sex yet. The closest we've gotten is masturbating into ice cream. Well, I guess it makes sense if the first five chapters were originally supposed to be the introduction before getting split into separate chapters. Probably just as well. I can't imagine anyone reading a chapter that long."

"I'd like to state for the record that Warren is a complete degenerate for masturbating. If I did something like that, my mom would belt whip my genital parts for it."

Against the odds it looks like she’s finally drifted off to sleep, and for the second time today she’s audibly sucking and slurping away at her thumb, a large pool of saliva pooling around her cheek against the pillow.

"What the fuck? Is Mary a baby, Monica?"

Her work ethic around the house is a mix of a doting 1950’s housewife, a victorian maid and a loyal puppy, always eager to please and hardworking to a fault.

"Oh, so now Bloster is saying we go around murdering black folk."

"Okay, that is a real stretch, Jess."

"1950's housewife. That means Amanda goes around lynching black dudes."

"Wait, what? Where are you getting this from?"

"The 1950's was a time when every white person in the entire world was walking round with a loose and a bullwhip just in case they saw a black guy. And I'm pretty sure it was legal to **** women back then too so I don't know why Amanda isn't offering her womb to Warren already."

"I think you might have an exaggerated view of the racism and sexism of the 50's."

you had already seen every episode about half a dozen times already, but you’d take rewatching the classics over suffering through some of the new crap they were releasing any day.

"I can't fault Warren for that. Wait a minute, Jess, that sounds like our Warren. It is really freaky how some character we named Warren acts so much like a more perverted version of our Warren."

Chuckling at your own laziness you text her back with a simple and stereotypical “beer” and continue to watch your show.

"I'm actually surprised these girls are allowed to drink beer or play soccer."

"How sheltered do you have to be not know what a blowjob is? You know, Jess, I take back what I said about this Warren being like ours. Our Warren would never **** a sleeping girl. I'm changing the character's name to Scum Bag."

"We'll probably supposed to think Amanda deserves it for being a Christian. The fact that she now refers to the guy as "Scum" just makes the whole thing funnier than it should be."

“Oh, you’re too sweet Scum”

"Stop laughing, Jess."

"The description of the nerd girl makes me sick. Braces? Overbite? Bucktooth? Whoever wants that, you are actually justified in calling Bloster a degenerate."

"The crowd at the game seem to agree with you. I hate the way that Bloster conflates nerds with geeks and the fact this nerd is so stereotypical makes me want to bully her."

"I think he should have made this story 1st or 3rd person. The 2nd person narrative only works for game type stories. And cucks Amanda out of a goal? Did a member of the opposing team fuck the goalposts in front of Amanda?"

"I don't think thats what Bloster meant?"

"I know, its just that we're nearly twenty chapters in at this point and the closest thing to a sex scene has been Scum masturbating and even if we do get a sex scene, nobody likes fat chicks."

"The nerd girl's lisp makes it impossible for normal humans to understand what she's saying. Does she have a learning disability?"

"I think Bloster might have made this character just to make Scum look good in comparison. I don't know what he sees in her. Bloster isn't gonna try to ship them together, is he?"

"This scene is painful to read."

“Wha- u- WHAT? I’m not some sort of disgusting LESBIAN!”

"And I no longer feel sorry for Amanda getting molested."

"Are we changing Scum's name back to Warren?"

"No, Jess, I still don't like him either. Are there any girls in this story that are actually attractive?"

As she watches her make her way passed, you’re a little shocked to see Eileen sharply slap her sisters bubbly ass.

"Isn't that normal?"

"Monica, there is nothing normal about your family."

Could there ever really be a scenario where you and Amanda live happily ever after?

"That would be fucked up given the fact Scum molested her in her sleep."

"Yes, Monica, he is obviously a psychopath."

"I was hoping he would pee on Maddie."

The only descriptor that could possibly come to mind as she ferociously blows you is “succubus”

"Oh look, racist stereotyping."

"But we do get a blowjob and anal scene."

"Twenty five chapters in, the average reader would have gotten bored and left before then. Plus, I don't know what Scum sees in Maddie. So Jess, did you masturbate to it?"

"Unlike Bloster, I am not a degenerate so no."

"You mean you never masturbate at all? How are you even alive? Though, I have to admit I didn't masturbate either. Muscles on women are gross."