Muscle Woman

"Stud - The Man Who Conquered Time. A Girl of the Hour tell-all biography. What the fuck is this, you asshole?" Muscle Woman slammed the newly bought copy of the country's new best seller down onto the living room table. The table made a loud noise and promptly collapsed under the pressure.

"Hey, hey, hey! That was a gift. Stud's not made out of money, baby." Which was belivable, as despite the fact that he walked around with a golden chain, his shitty one room apartment looked like a disorganised closet. "And the book is about Stud's new girl. You like?"

Muscle Woman sneered at the man. The book was supposed to be about her longtime sidekick Girl of the Hour. It was her big debut story, supposed to cover all the most important parts of her life.

Instead it rushed through all that. The last two thirds of the book were dedicated to gushing about her new boyfriend.

"I certainly don't like, asshole." Muscle Woman held the book up in a feminine, dark-skinned hand that looked almost out of place stemming from her muscular arm.

She opened the book and began reading in a disapproving tone of voice. "It was on that day that my life suddenly changed. I was passing time in a café, reading the bible and watching downloaded episodes of Disney original shows, like usual. In the back of my mind I was fretting over the results of last week's history test. It would just be the worst if I did poorly. All of those thoughts vanished when I saw him; Stud.

He was so handsome! I'm sure people caught me staring at him. My mind was so overwhelmed by these sudden alien feelings that keeping my manners was lost on me. I felt super tingely all over and I realised that my panties were getting wet. Apparently, that's something that happens to adults when they fall in love."

Muscle Woman stopped reading and stared daggers. Stud looked quizzical. "My sidekick doesn't talk like that, asshole." She accentuated the last word, clear disdain dripping form her full lips. "And what the fuck is this next part?"

New page. "It was at that point that I really regretted not knowing anything about boys. Back then, I didn't even know what s.e.x was. I thought babies came with the stork. Like, hello. And he could tell. I approached him all nervous like and tried to start a conversation. Probably talked about my favourite MLP characters or how fun my homework had been today. It only came out as a jumbled mess. A virgin like me dosen't know how to flirt. Luckily, Stud took charge. He said, 'Baby, you need it bad.' And I did! I didn't know what 'it' was but I so knew I needed it."

Muscle Woman grew increasingly angry with the words she was reading. New page. "It was finally happening. The highlight of a young superheroine's life. My legs were spread as wide as the cramped stall allowed for. Stud was in charge and I just nervously waited for it. Then I felt it. Hot, hard, manly. Despite never having taken a man's d.i.c.k before, not even knowing what it was, I instantly knew his was above average in size. I felt his thingy push against my virgin walls until he finally penetrated–"

An angry grunt left Muscle Woman. New page. "The media was all over it when it was announced. In retrospect, the most difficult thing for me was trying to explain our relationship. They kept asking boyfriend this, boyfriend that. Weren't you saving yourself for marriage? Are you getting engaged? I had to put in an effort to make people understand that Stud's to much of a man for one little virgin to handle. He can't be chained to only one superheroine. He agreed to f.u.c.k my kitty because I am a– or, I guess was a, virgin ripe for picking, sure. But now that he's already hit that, I can't expect him to stay interested. Believe me, even though you can only be Stud's virgin lover one time, it is definitely not something you regret. It's so much better than reading the bible!"

Muscle Woman was shouting now. Last page. "That's my life so far. Many ups and downs. I wanted to leave you, dear readers, on a positive, so I've been keeping a big announcement until the end. Even though I haven't been giving it that much focus in this book, I am, as you know, a time-manipulating crime fighter. Using my powers, I have been able to rewind my body back to the time before I had s.e.x. That's right! I'm a virgin again! Stud was so happy when I told him that he did me right there in his mega mansion (I'll tell you all about it in my upcoming book: Stud of the Hour). He says he likes my tight kitty so much he's making me the exclusive virgin of Super Stud! Super Stud of course is the newest hottest thing, and I jumped at the chance to join. It's really an honor to be the first of many supers to join the Super Stud brand.

I'm leaving you now, dear reader. I am sitting here in writing hour, my kitty fully intact. I already did all my homework so that the rest of the day can be spent with Stud. In the room next to me waits a long hard d.i.c.k ready to teach my virgin- What the fuck did you do to make her agree to write this crap!" Muscle Woman threw the book in rage, audibly breaking something.

"Look, lady. Stud was cool with you asking to visit his shack because you're a smoking hot babe and all, but you can't keep breaking his stuff."

Muscle Woman lifted a chair and crushed its leg between her fingers. "Talk to me with respect, asshole, or broken furniture is the least of your worries." She brushed dust off her green leotard, careful not to give this guy a good look at her body in the process. He was already staring at her perky chest, like guys usually did. At least until they got a look at her backside, then all their attention fixed on burning the perfect image into their minds. She would not give this guy that pleasure. "Now you will tell me what you did to make Girl of the Hour agree to be with someone like you. If I find out you blackmailed her..."

Stud pulled his untidy hair as he saw more of his furniture breaking."Baby, Stud was going to agree to make you the official Super Stud MILF, but if you're going to continue being a crazy bitch, this-" he pointed a finger between the two of them repeatedly, "-won't work out."

Muscle Woman gasped, her sharp features morphing into outrage and shock. "Excuse you? You can not call me a crazy bitch. Who do you think you are? And MILF? What the fuck does that mean?" Muscle Woman was halfway to strangling the man while talking.

"It means 'mom Stud would like to fuck.' It's like a woman with big tits that is kind of old, but still hot, you know? Stud figured he'd need one eventually."

"I know what the fucking word means, asshole. I'm not old, I'm thirty one. And you better apologise or I'm reporting you for sexual harassment. Scratch that. I'll just beat your ass myself."

Stud looked around confused as if genuinely befuddled. "Wait, thirty isn't old?" he then took another good look at the woman in front of him. He stared at the stretchy green fabric covering her, and at the yellow M and W criss-crossing over her chest. "Now that you mention it, those boobs are pretty mid. Like, they're nice, but definitely too small to be a super MILF. Sorry, baby, but Stud's not sure this is going to work out."

Muscle Woman had had enough. She grabbed the man by his collar lifting him off the ground. "Fucking great then, because I'm not joining the harem of some chauvinistic asshole! Tell me what you did with my sidekick and then I'm out of here!"

"Hey, hey! Watch the bling!" Stud made sure his golden chain wasn't damaged before answering. "Didn't you just read a book about this? What Stud did to your sidekick was take her virginity in the bathroom stall of a café, and since she had a special ultra fresh time pussy power, he let her become the Super Stud brand's exclusive virgin. Stud gets that you want to join in, baby, but you're just not MILF material. And other than that you're hot, sure, but nothing really sticks out.

Big muscles? You're trying too hard to make that your entire personality. You have the Karen attitude down to a fine art, but who would want to listen to that in bed. You and that time-slut already know each other, so fucking both of you at once could be kind of hot, but Stud has standards, and he can't just let you into Super Stud because you know someone with a really tight fuck hol-"

Stud had been rambling while Muscle Woman grew increasingly furious with him. Reaching a boiling point, she snapped, and slammed him into the already broken living room table, further shattering it as his body was **** right through. She was about to stomp his head in, when she regained control and stopped herself. "You're lucky super heroes can't kill people out in the open even if they really really want to. This is not the last you'll hear from me." Muscle Woman turned around and stormed out of the room. It was an immense effort not to commit several felonies right then. "Of all the sexist, douchebag, idiot argghhh! You're the greatest fucking asshole I've ever had to-"

"Wait, that's it!" Stud stumbled up from between the rubble of his deceased living room table, seemingly in a frenzy.

Muscle Woman was halfway out the door, but hesitated. Looking over her shoulder, she barked, "What!"

"What you just said. Stud can't believe he didn't notice before."

Muscle Woman ran her words through her head. The insults? Did he grow a sense of shame or something? "All I said was that you're the greatest asshole I have ever met... what are you-"

"Exactly! That right there is your ticket, baby."

Muscle Woman was confused. Stud was pointing excitedly at her. Following the direction of his finger she found it pointed directly at her leotard-clad behind. She knew her ass looked good in this costume- good in anything. During her frenzy earlier she hadn't noticed that the fabric had crept up slightly, meaning her large, dark, toned cheecks were on display more than usual.

"Stud has an eye for these things. All that mass while staying bouncy, that muscled body that promises a tight squeeze, that stick-up-your-ass attitude screaming of pent up frustration. It's decided. Welcome to the Super Stud team, asshole."

Muscle Woman crushed the door handle between her fingers. He is so dead.