Mona Asks For Stuff

Mona

Mona ignores her fuming fiancée (who must be annoyed about Tyalangan’s little goof) and strides up to the Host. “Hey, Tyalangan, can we talk?”

The Host stands at attention, noting, “Of course. Talk away.”

“In private, please?”

Tyalangan looks at the stairwell. “There is always the Suite.”

Curse you, leg day! “Ah, someplace private that doesn’t involve five flights of stairs?”

The sea elf smirks, “Follow me to my office, then.”

So, follow the sea elf she does. They head out of the Hotel, through the throngs of people in the castle, past what must be her throne room, and into an office via a door that suddenly appears in the middle of the hall. Wow, this is a very weird office. One side is a giant aquarium, full of fish and sharks and a sea slug mashing its face into a computer? The far wall is dominated by the skull of some kind of giant monster, hovering over a very fancy looking desk. The wall on the other side of the big tank has a large number of bookshelves and a small reading nook. Near the desk, a number of monitors hover in place. Mona catches a glimpse of the others on at least one of the screens. The fuck?

Answering the unasked question, the Host replies, “Raw footage of every camera we are currently using. It’s part of how I keep tabs on everything. I mentioned that you have access to these feeds, did I not?”

Ooooh, yeeeaaaah, the TV livestream thing. Mona wonders if she should be watching that more.

“I assume that isn’t what you wanted to talk about. Have a seat.” Mona is directed to the reading nook. A pitcher of water with two glasses sits on the nook’s table. Mona is a little uncomfortable with the giant skull that makes up the base of it. She pours herself a glass of water and sits, thankful to get off her feet.

“Well?” Tyalangan takes the other chair. One of her braids wraps itself around the pitcher handle and pours water into the other glass as the elf messes with a tablet.

“Little rude to not give me your whole attention. Also, the fuck?”

Keeping one eye on the tablet, she notes, “I still need to keep tabs on everyone. I will give you as much attention as I can. Also, hair transformation.”

“I wrote to Mr. Cooper.”

Tyalangan smiles, “I know.”

“And he said that you’d give me stuff if I asked.”

“Did he now? Interesting interpretation. What, pray tell, are you asking for? Sexy body and magic, or has something been added to the list since this morning?”

Mona gulps. How did she...

“Again, I keep tabs on everyone, including you. Did you have anything else you wanted me to give you?”

Mona’s voice feels small, “Ah, no? Just a fast track to a sexy body and some cool magic, please.”

“Well, Mona, we will certainly have to do something about that. Mistress satisfaction is one of our goals, after all. I assume the sexy body thing is just an effort to avoid the hard work of getting one on your own?”

Mona looks pensive. I mean, yeah, but I probably shouldn’t just say it.

“Look, asking for the shortcut just makes you human. I won’t hold it against you. Same with asking for magic. Here’s my plan: when we hit round one’s transformation votes, I plan to offer the audience a chance to give you one. The losing options will be available for purchase. I do ask you to keep working on those bounties. You have made some decent progress already. I am proud of what you’ve achieved so far, Mona. You are doing better than I was when I was halfway through my Week 1.”

That can’t be right. There is no way she did worse than me.

Sensing the pause went long enough, the Host asks, “So, we talking about Winter or quests? Or are we done?”

“Tegan’s quest rewards seem a little bit mean?”

Tyalangan sips her water, “We both agree she needs a little push to get along with the others, right?”

Mona sighs, “Yeah. But that doesn’t mean...”

The Host cuts Mona off. “I know you haven’t watched a lot of the show, but there are always late additions: extra contestants, people added to the game from transformations, replacements for eliminated players, et cetera. In fact, I am guaranteeing at least two new contestants after the first Major Quest to address an initial balancing error on my part. Your harem will likely get to the point where you can’t give everyone in it enough time if they are all focused only on you. If Tegan is only for you, she will get awfully lonely at some point, no matter how hard you try to please her. It is best for harem cohesion if she opens herself up to sexual relations or at least friendships with some of the others.”

Mona’s mind reels from all of that. Surely she isn’t suggesting that the sexy insanity is going to get bigger? She scrambles for something to say, “Balancing error?”

Again, answering the unasked question, “I started with six; I ended up with twelve. And, yes, I made a balancing error. The audience wants to watch you fuck both men and women. I got a decent starting variety of the later. I didn’t provide enough of the former.”

Eeeeeh! Guys! More guys! “So, a bunch of sexy hunks for me to pick from or what? I get a say, right?”

“Did you get a say about your initial six? The audience will make the choices.”

Mona pouts, muttering, “But what if the audience picks poorly?”

“Then you work with the new folk until you get along with them, like you have started to do with Gaia and Tegan.”

“But they will be hunky, right?”

“Some of the options will certainly start that way, some could be made that way for the game, some might never get there. What if one of the guys makes for a perfect femboi?”

“Oooooh, good point. Finally, can you tell me why I should accept Winter bugging Kevin like Winter seems to be constantly doing? And why can’t I think about pronouns for Winter?”

“I’ll answer the latter. Maybe it’ll answer the former? If not, you can speak with my child about it. Please do so before tonight. When Winter became an adult, my child asked for something very particular as a gift and I gave it. A transformation, technically the first one I made from conception to application. My earlier work was either crafted by my producer or never applied.”

With a wave of her hand, the expected illusion appears. The text is both short and a bit strange:

[Blank] Frost nipping at your nose – No one is able to conceive of Winter using gendered language (???).

“Wait. What? That doesn’t make sense. I can refer to Winter as a maid...”

The Host interjects, “...Which is an occupation that is gender neutral. I have some male maids employed in the castle. Not many, mind you, but some.”

“And they wear the frilly dress?”

“Most do and, frankly, view it as a perk. Some choose a uniform similar to the castle butlers, which is also a gender neutral occupation.”

“I thought a butler was a male maid.”

“Nope. Different roles. Maids cook and clean. Butlers organize, administrate, and supervise. They all report to the Royal Steward.”

Mona shrugs, “Not seeing a difference.”

“Maids are Janitors, Butlers are Secretaries?” the Host offers.

“Ooooh, that makes sense, I guess? Is it weird that I assume all four of those jobs go with a particular sex and they flipped between the old timey and modern versions? So, Winter could be a Winter in a frilly dress instead of just a Winter in a frilly dress? Man, that transformation is annoying.”

“It’s what my child wanted. And it is not my tale to tell as to why.”

Mona stares at the Host, more than a little annoyed. “You are less helpful than I was expecting, after Mr. Cooper told me to ask for stuff.”

The Host smirks, leaning back to sip some water. “Well, Mr. Cooper would tell you that his Host rarely just gives him what he wants. When I was in your shoes, my Host gave me nothing but grief. I am promising that you’ll get at least some of what you want. You just need to be patient. Can’t you wait a few measly days, Mona?”

When she puts it that way, I guess she has a point. Mona still pouts a little.

“You schedule your workout today? I bet I can get Winter to escort you instead of Ophie, if you want to make arrangements. So, you heading to the canteen for lunch or climbing all of those stairs for Ophie’s cooking?”

I don’t want to climb up five flights of stairs right now. Mona sighs, “The canteen.”

Tyalangan escorts Mona back to the Hotel, then, with a salute, disappears into mist. Mona stares up at the stairs to get to the canteen and groans. She starts trudging her way upstairs. Curse you, leg day!

Andromeda

Yesterday’s training plan worked reasonably well, so, while Tessa takes her daily pool time, Andromeda heads to the range for more combat magic training. Mattie is leaning on a post, twirling her revolver around her finger. The catsuit-clad elf is casually squeezing her breasts together as she waits. It’s almost as if she’s showing off...

“BOO! I thought you were Tiny Tits! She’s so fun to rile up!”

Andromeda sighs, “Tegan is hard enough to deal with before we add your taunts into the mix, ma’am.”

“Hmm... true, but I don’t have to do that. Whatcha need, Almach?”

That same deep-cut nickname. “Can you please call me by my real name and explain why you came up with that nickname?”

“I have a PhD in astrophysics.”

Huh. Interesting. “And you spend your time running a firing range instead of expanding this world’s understanding on whatever aspect of astrophysics you studied for your degree?”

“One, I don’t just run the range. I do a lot of stuff around here. Two, this is a porn world with magic. Magi-tech is kind of screwy here. We got cell phones and espresso machines, but we still use horse-drawn caravans for most long-distance transport. Not a lot of demand for astrophysicists. I do dabble in solving problems that interest me. Still, I assume you want to do something other than tell me how much I am slacking off?”

The elf is smiling. She is apparently taking all of that as good-natured ribbing? That’s good. “I wanted some more combat training before I level up again. One more question first, if it will not offend you. You wouldn’t happen to know all about the creature we are to slay at the end of this?”

As they walk inside the armory, the elf muses, “Ah, the thousand gold coin question. We have a name and as close to a physical description as possible, currently. Nothing actionable. And, before you ask, Sarge already assigned me the job of gathering all I can about the foe. That is a group project for after curfew, though. It requires trips to your world, installing magma-impervious sensors and things like that. Trust me when I say that you really should be focusing on this round, not the endgame. So, you got a leveled combat spell, let’s talk about it.”

Andromeda: -20 BP

Chromatic Orb is an interesting spell, even if Mattie does not possess it. It allows the caster to select the damage type from what Mattie says is a pretty wide range of options: acid, cold, fire, lightning, poison, or thunder. To best utilize it, you need to know some things about the enemy, namely, if they have any damage resistances, immunities, or vulnerabilities. Some are patently obvious: you don’t fire out a fire orb at a fire elemental. Some are less obvious.

“So, knowing that I have Absorb Elements, what do you hit me with?”

“Poison, assuming you haven’t already shored up that weakness.”

“Good. How about a Black Pudding?”

That is a monster? Needless to say, Andromeda does not do great on her pop quiz about ideal damage types to pick for fighting monsters. Relying on her Leylines card knowledge is spotty, as damage types do not quite align perfectly with the color pie, even when the monster in question has a card depiction. They still practice using the spell. Mattie tanks a poison orb like a champ, just to let Andromeda see what the spell feels like.

Andromeda: Partial Success – Arcana expertise training (6 XP / 10 XP)

Andromeda: +2 XP (Skill Training)

“So, how can I get better at recognizing the right damage type to use?”

“Knowledge. Common sense for the obvious stuff. Nature for plants and beasts. Religion for fiends and abominations and the like. Arcana for magically created beings. History can help, too, occasionally. Outside of that, observation and trying things out.”

So, mildly dissatisfied with her results, Andromeda heads back to Daphne to level up. And Level 3 is not that impressive. Going from 3 to 8 SP is a big help and the HP is appreciated. She gets access to Level 2 spells, grabbing spell scrolls for Dragon’s Breath (as an AoE damage spell with variable damage types) and Enhance Ability (to help boost training sessions). She knows that she’ll only be able to scribe a single second level spell during a single stand-by mode, but she’ll have both scribed (plus Witch Bolt) before the first Major Quest. Let’s go hit the library, then see what people want to do after lunch.