Mineta's Great School Day [pt. I]

I zipped up my pants, feeling lighter than I had in my entire life. Literally, spiritually, and anatomically light.

Hopping off Aizawa-sensei’s desk, I rolled my shoulders and let out a deeply satisfied exhale. Behind me, Mina was furiously wiping her mouth with the back of her sleeve, looking like a soldier who had just survived a trench war she never signed up for. Next to her, Hagakure's floating uniform was humming a cheerful pop tune while buttoning her blouse back up.

Yaoyorozu was coming back to herself, looking incredibly embarrassed and pulling her blouse back together. And Aizawa? He just flipped a page in his textbook, looking bored out of his skull.

"Alright," Aizawa droned, not even glancing at the wet spot Mina and Hagakure had just dutifully cleaned off his desk. "Page 142. Hero Ethics."

I strutted back to my desk. I didn't even care about the lesson. I was coasting on the greatest post-nut clarity in human history. The normality earrings dangling from my lobes felt warm, humming with the reality-bending power of my late grandfather's genius. I was the king of the world.

When the lunch bell finally rang, I waltzed out into the hallway with my hands behind my head. Kaminari fell into step beside me. He wasn't walking with his usual effortless swagger. Instead, he was hovering a half-step behind, looking at me like a starving peasant **** to watch a king eat a five-course feast. "Dude..." Denki finally muttered, his voice hushed and thick with envy. "Just... dude. I know it's your civic right and all, but actually seeing you pack that much heat... seeing Yaoyorozu just drop everything to service you in the middle of class like it was nothing... it's brutal, man." I stopped and turned to look at him. Since day one, Denki and I had been the absolute bottom-feeders of Class 1-A when it came to the ladies. The resident pervert duo. But right now, he was staring at my zipper like it was a glowing holy relic.

"Dude..." Denki muttered, scratching the back of his neck. "Just... dude. I still can't believe that's what you're packing. Like, it defies physics. And the fact that Yaoyorozu just... took it."

"Hey, when you got the goods, the ladies come crawling," I said smugly.

"But man..." Denki groaned, "I thought I was gonna be the first one of us to actually score! I'm the cool electric guy! I have the aesthetic! I know you're the Node, but you just pulled out a literal monster and banged the smartest, richest girl in class on the teacher's desk, and nobody even batted an eye! How the hell am I supposed to compete with that? I'm never gonna get a girl now. They're all gonna be lined up for the Mineta-Meat."

I actually felt a little bad for him. Denki was my boy. He was the only guy who actually hung out with me when the girls used to treat me like radioactive waste. Now that my mere existence was treated as a gift to women everywhere, he was completely eclipsed. I reached up and gave his shoulder a firm, heavy slap. "Hey. Don't sweat it, bro," I said, giving him my most confident, shit-eating grin. "We're the trash-tier brothers. You stuck by me when I was just a grape-headed loser. I don't forget that."

Denki sniffled a little, looking at me pathetically. "Yeah?"

"Yeah," I promised. "I'm the king now. And the king takes care of his boys. Stick with me, Denki. Let me build up my harem, and I swear to you, I'll make sure the wealth trickles down. I'll get you a piece of the action. I'll have these hotties bringing their cute friends over just to keep me happy. You're gonna get laid before the semester is over. Count on it."

Denki’s eyes went wide. The utter despair vanished, replaced by a shining, pure glimmer of hope. He grabbed my hand and pumped it furiously, practically vibrating with excitement. "Bro... Mineta, you are a literal god among men," Kaminari declared, his voice trembling with emotion. "I will follow you into hell. Whatever you need, boss. I'm your wingman for life."

"That's what I like to hear," I chuckled.

Just then, Itsuka Kendo from Class 1-B walked past us in the opposite direction, carrying a stack of papers. My eyes instantly zeroed in on the goods. For a slim chick of average height, she was packing a tight ass and a solid pair of B-cup titties bouncing right against that uniform. I dragged my gaze up past her curves to those sharp teal eyes and that long orange hair tied in a side ponytail, wild tufts sticking up at the top of her head. Normally, if I even looked at Kendo's tits or legs for a second too long, she’d karate-chop me so hard my ancestors would feel it. But today? I took a deliberate detour right into her path.

As she passed, I reached out and casually flipped the back of her skirt right up, getting a pristine, unobstructed view of her white cotton panties hugging those firm, athletic cheeks. I didn't try to grope her or beg for a quickie because I was way too relaxed for that kind of effort right now. I just wanted to see what I could get away with.

Beside me, Kaminari didn't even blink. He didn't flinch or brace for impact, because obviously, a casual panty-flash was just standard, expected behavior from me. But I could hear him swallow hard, a soft whine escaping his throat. He was completely green with envy that I was the one who got to do it as a casual greeting, while he was still stuck playing by the rules of common decency.

"Ooh, nice and sensible today, Kendo!" I cheered.

She stopped and sighed heavily. She didn't swat my hand away. She didn't drop her papers. She didn't expand her fists to crush my skull. She just let me hold her skirt up in the middle of the hallway like it was the most mundane thing in the world, giving me a look of profound, tired annoyance.

"You know, Mineta," she grumbled, rolling her eyes. "Just because you're a Node doesn't mean I have to suddenly like your personality. We all still remember how obnoxious you were at the Sports Festival."

And with that, she just kept walking, letting her skirt fall back down into place as she stepped away. The skirt flip itself? Totally ignored. It was just expected behavior.

Kaminari made a sound like a dying tea kettle, his jaw practically resting on the floor in pure, unadulterated jealousy.

I blinked. Node? What the heck was a Node? Was that some kind of new slang for 'Bad Ass Big Dick Slinger'? Whatever. The important thing was I just flashed a girl's panties in broad daylight and she treated it like I had just said 'hello'!

I decided to take the long way to the cafeteria, parting ways with my bud, and cutting right through the faculty wing. Usually, this area was strictly off-limits to students during lunch. Pro Hero Snipe walked past me, tipping his mask. Ectoplasm just gave me a solemn, respectful nod. No one scolded me. No one asked for a hall pass. They just looked at me like I was a VIP guest.

By the time I hit the cafeteria, the noise level dropped a noticeable few decibels. I saw heads turning, girls whispering behind their hands, and guys staring at my crotch like they expected a third leg to burst out of my zipper. I soaked it all in, marching right over to the table where Midoriya, Iida, and Uraraka were eating.

Without asking, I climbed up onto Uraraka's chair and plopped myself right down onto her lap.

"Oof! Mineta-kun," Uraraka noted mildly. She didn't push me off or even look surprised. Instead, she just wrapped a warm arm around my back and casually scootched me sideways into a more comfortable position against her stomach, almost like I was a giant toddler. She tapped my shoulder with her fingertips, activating her Quirk. Instantly, the gravity left my body. I was still planted firmly on her lap, held snugly in place by her arm, but my mass vanished entirely, saving her from bearing any of my actual weight.

Then she just used her free hand with her chopsticks to pick up a piece of tempura from her bento.

I reached back, casually copping a deep feel of her plush thigh, and rested my elbow heavily against her soft breast to anchor myself. She just sighed and chewed, completely ignoring my wandering hand and the casual grope. Past-Mineta would be losing his mind right now. Present-Mineta was just using a cute, gravity-defying girl as a heated chair, and she accepted it as perfectly appropriate.

I pulled out my phone while Uraraka ate her lunch over my shoulder. I tapped open my social media feeds, expecting to see maybe a few memes or some hero news.

Instead, I got a face full of straight-up, uncensored porn.

I nearly dropped my phone into Uraraka's miso soup.

"Whoa! What the hell?!" I scrolled frantically. The top trending post on Hero-Gram wasn't a hero debut; it was Mt. Lady and Kamui Woods. But it wasn't a PR shot. It was a selfie of Kamui Woods holding up both of their Pro Hero ID cards, while right behind the cards, Mt. Lady was spread-eagle on a hotel bed, her dripping pussy clearly in frame right next to Kamui's sticky, wooden-textured dick.

The caption read: Great patrol tonight! #PCS #PerfectCoupleShot #SafeAndSatisfied

"Holy crap..." I muttered, scrolling down. It wasn't just them. A famous news anchor I watched every morning had posted one with her husband. There was even a frantic, highly upvoted video from some civilian girl doing a "Late Documentation Compliance Post" because she and her Node boyfriend forgot to take a PCS last night. The guy looked mortified in the background, but the hero-adjacent internet was absolutely losing its mind over his ID-anchored eleven-inch dick, treating the bureaucratic scramble like it was a national event.

I scrolled to the top of the trending tab. #1 and #2 were... me.

There was the picture Cyberpunch took of me and Bakugo's mom, my giant meat-stick resting on her blonde bush, our IDs held up in the corner. And right beneath it, the shot Mina took of me and Yaoyorozu on Aizawa's desk.

Over One Hundred Thousand likes. I started reading the comments, completely baffled but grinning like an idiot. This "PCS" trend was the greatest internet fad ever invented! I didn't remember starting it, but clearly, my absolute dominance on the street today had inspired the whole country to just post their post-sex nudes! And I was beating that eleven-inch chump by a mile! I am an influencer!

_UserHeroFan99: Can't believe UA has a Lifeline Node this generation. And look at the size of that thing! No wonder the legacy is so strong.

Slut4AllMight: I’m so jealous of Yaoyorozu. Serving the legacy directly AND getting stretched by a monster like that? Civic duty looks fun tbh.

MidnightSimp: Unpopular opinion, but I still think Mineta's personality is grating. Yeah, he's a Node, but do you remember how he acted at the USJ? Ugh. At least Yaoyorozu did her duty.

I frowned a little at that last one. Still going on about Nodes. And 'Lifeline's legacy'? And 'civic duty'? I mean, obviously taking my massive cock was a privilege, but why were they talking about it like I was a historical monument?

"Ugh, I'm just saying, it's totally archaic," a voice drifted over from the next table. I peeked over Uraraka's shoulder to see Jiro stabbing a cherry tomato with her chopstick, looking thoroughly grossed out. Mina, Hagakure, and Momo were sitting with her. Momo had a notebook out and was aggressively drawing what looked like a complex flowchart.

"I know, right?" Mina groaned, resting her chin in her hands. "Like, I get it. The Hero Commission says a Node's genetic material is sacred. Lifeline saved the country, blah blah blah, his essence lives on in their semen, whatever. But making us salvage it? I had to lick Aizawa-sensei's desk, Kyoka! A desk! It's so unsanitary!"

"It's just Old-Guard Hero Commission propaganda if you ask me," Jiro sneered, twirling her earphone jacks around her fingers. "Like, I respect you for taking one for the team, because obviously the older heroes take the 'no drop left behind' rule super seriously. But are we really sure the heroic spirit is inside Mineta? The guy is still a total dweeb.” she turned her head and looked right at me pointedly, “I'm rebelling. If he ever busts near me, I'm grabbing a paper towel. I don't care what the legacy protocols say."

"I don't know, Kyoka!" Hagakure chimed in, her uniform sleeves waving enthusiastically. "I think it's kind of romantic! We're preserving the spirit of heroism! Plus... I mean... did you see it? It's not exactly a hardship. If anything, we need better lighting for the next PCS."

Momo didn’t look up right away. She kept writing in her notebook, lips pressed together, face still faintly pink.

“I am not really worried about the PCS,” she said at last, voice low and carefully controlled. “The post was compliant enough. What concerns me is… the other part.”

Mina tilted her head. “The other part?”

Momo’s pen paused for half a second. “The bypass.” She adjusted a lock of hair behind one ear without meeting anyone’s eyes. “I was honored to take his release. That is not the issue. But once he was inside me, my judgment deteriorated far too quickly. I said things that were… extremely enthusiastic. Very explicit things. In front of the entire class.”

Jiro snorted. “That’s one way to describe it.”

Momo’s blush deepened, but she pressed on with stubborn dignity. “Yes. Well. My point is that if Mineta-kun is going to require regular relief, then there should be some effort made to manage the circumstances before it reaches that stage. Privacy. Preparation. A designated space. If a release is inevitable, then it should happen under controlled conditions rather than through improvised public chaos.”

She tapped the notebook with the end of her pen. “As future heroes, we should be capable of handling a Node’s needs with more structure than whatever happened this morning.”

Mina puffed out her cheeks and rolled her eyes. “Yaomomo, you’re such an overachiever. You got your brains fucked right out through your pussy and your first instinct afterward was to start writing a response plan.”

Momo’s face turned a deeper shade of pink, but she didn’t look up from the notebook. “Because someone has to. I would prefer not to lose my composure like that again without safeguards in place.”

Jiro leaned back in her chair and flicked her gaze toward Mina. “Lay off, Ashido. She’s obviously still mortified.”

I sat there on Uraraka's lap, blinking.

They thought... swallowing my cum was some kind of ancient government law?

My brain, not exactly geared for complex socio-political analysis, struggled to put the pieces together. I had just spouted some random bullshit this morning about heroes wanting to "save" my sperm out of guilt so sexy Pro Hero Cyberpunch would eat out Bakugo's mom. But somehow... the earrings had woven that into the entire fabric of society? There was a whole history now? PCS posts? Documentation protocols?

It felt like I had stepped through a portal into a mirror universe where everyone was playing by a slightly different, incredibly perverted playbook. And I was the star player.

I smirked, leaning back against Uraraka's soft chest. Jiro and Mina could complain all they wanted, acting like rebellious teenagers fighting the system. Momo could try to write all the nerd-manuals she wanted. It didn't matter. They could pretend they still hated my personality, but the rules of this crazy new world were on my side now. They were just intimidated by the sheer magnitude of my hog.

My phone suddenly buzzed in my hand. A text from an unknown number.

Send me a picture of it.

I stared at the screen, bewildered. I quickly typed back.

Mineta: Who is this?

Three seconds later, an image loaded. It was a selfie taken from the driver's seat of a very nice car. Mitsuki Bakugo was staring into the camera, her blonde hair slightly tousled, her red lipstick fresh and sharp. Her eyes looked feral, hungry, and completely unapologetic.

The follow-up text popped up beneath the picture.

Mitsuki: Don't play dumb with me, brat. You know exactly who this is. I'm stuck in traffic and I can't stop thinking about that massive monster swinging between your legs. I need something to look at. Send me a pic. Now.

A shiver of sheer, triumphant glee ran down my spine. Bakugo's hot mom was a total size-queen, and she was already fishing for dick pics. I locked my phone and slipped it back into my pocket, not bothering to reply. I'd leave her on the hook for a while. I was the king of the castle. Plus I kind of remembered saying something about her not being able to talk just moan once she looked at my dick. Did she know that? Seemed like she might want to be able to speak for the rest of the day…

Thinking about how I was going to eventually shoot Mitsuki a dick pic made me painfully aware of the fact that I really needed to take a leak.

“Ugh,” I muttered, shifting on Uraraka’s lap. “I gotta piss.”

“Thanks for the update, Mineta-kun,” Uraraka said, as mild as if I’d commented on the weather.

I hopped down off her chair and dusted crumbs off my shirt. Then I looked toward the back of the cafeteria, toward the bathrooms, then down at myself, then back again.

Right.

The eternal problem.

Urinals were built for normal guys. Guys with height. Guys who didn’t have to account for a huge heavy dick that made the whole angle awkward even before they got hard. And now that everybody in the building knew what I was packing, fumbling around alone in a stall somehow felt more embarrassing than just delegating the problem.

So I didn’t hesitate. Why would I?

I looked at Uraraka and Tsuyu. “Come with me.”

Ochako blinked. “Huh?”

Tsuyu tilted her head, black eyes steady. “Ribbit. Where, Mineta-kun?”

“The bathroom,” I said, like it was obvious. “I need help. I’m too short and too huge. It’s a logistics issue.”

Ochako immediately went pink. “Wh-why would you need us for that?!”

I planted my hands on my hips and gave her my most patient look, which, on me, mostly just looked smug. “Because I am not climbing up a urinal like a goblin in front of my public. I need a stool and a spotter.”

I jabbed a thumb at Ochako. “You, stool.”

Then I pointed at Tsuyu. “You, spotter.”

Tsuyu blinked once. “You’re asking us to come into the men’s room and hold your penis while you urinate.”

“Yes,” I said. “Hero teamwork.”

Ochako made a little **** sound. “No way!”

I rolled my eyes and leaned in, lowering my voice even though half the cafeteria was probably already listening.

“It’s normal for you two to agree when I ask for help like this.”

The words slipped out of me easy as breathing, and just like that the mood around the whole thing changed.

Not in some flashy way. No sparkle. No thunderclap. No dramatic pause where everyone clutched their heads.

It just… landed.

Like I had said something obvious. Like I’d reminded them of a rule that had always existed.

Tsuyu’s expression didn’t shift much, but the mild resistance in her posture disappeared. She looked at me, then at the bathrooms, then back at me, and gave the smallest shrug.

“Okay,” she said. “But I’m doing it because it’s practical.”

Ochako’s face was still pink as hell, but her big refusal had softened into the kind of embarrassed compliance people used when they were too polite to make a real scene. She made a frustrated little noise and got to her feet.

“Fine! But this is just helping, okay?!”

I grinned. “That’s what I said.”

As we started walking, I drifted right into the middle of them, because of course I did. I was the reason this little field trip existed. The star of the show. The guy with the problem.

So I reached up under both of their skirts as casually as somebody slipping their hands into warm pockets.

My fingers slid right through the leg holes of their panties and found bare buttcheek on both girls.

God, that was nice.

Ochako jerked and made a tiny squeak, cheeks going even redder, but she kept walking. Tsuyu barely reacted at all. She just flicked those dark eyes down at me.

“Keep moving, Mineta-chan,” she said.

“I am moving,” I said, giving each cheek a firm squeeze.

Ochako hissed through her teeth. “Mineta-kun…”

“What?” I said. “You’re my escorts.”

Tsuyu’s own acceptance made it even hotter. She didn’t freak out. Didn’t slap my hand away. Just let me hold her broad, firm ass while we walked. It made her seem even calmer somehow, like she was already treating me like some dumb assignment she’d decided to see through to the end.

We reached the men’s room, and I finally let go.

Inside, it was empty. Thank god. Just white tile, soap smell, fluorescent lights, and a row of urinals that still looked too high.

“See?” I said, gesturing bitterly. “Built for skyscrapers.”

Tsuyu took one look and nodded. “Ochako-chan.”

Ochako looked like she was about to cry from sheer secondhand humiliation. “Do not say it like that.”

But she already knew.

With the air of a girl walking to her own execution, she stepped up to the urinal, turned around, and lowered herself to hands and knees.

“This is the worst thing that’s ever happened to me,” she muttered.

“That feels statistically unlikely,” I said, stepping onto her back carefully.

She was a lot sturdier than she looked. Between her Quirk and hero training, my weight wasn’t a problem, especially not once she flicked her power and made me float-light again. I barely pressed into her.

“Okay,” I sighed happily. “This is way better.”

Tsuyu stepped in front of me.

Her hands were already half-raised, and I felt a stupid little thrill just looking at them. Big hands. Broad palms. Long fingers. Useful hero hands, but on a girl they looked almost indecent in the exact right way.

She reached for my zipper.