Melon Frappe with Port

In the cold halls of the Tower of Learning on the university campus, students were still bundled in their jackets waiting for the classroom to warm. Unfortunately, the old building did not have the best heating and likely would reach a balmy temperature of fifty degrees Fahrenheit by the end of class. However, attention was brought to the front as the professor bumbled in.

She had an energy that belied her age and as she got to the desk made an exaggerated shivering motion, shaking her entire body “Brrrrr! Whoever claimed mind over matter could overcome the weather didn’t live someplace it snowed!”

Professor Eliza Dawson was rewarded with an awkward smattering of chuckles as she removed her coat and winter hat. Underneath, the 57-year-old woman was wearing a plain t-shirt under a cardigan and some jeans. She had a matronly figure, her long blonde hair had streaks of white and her breasts had begun to sag but that did little to diminish the spark of beauty in the woman’s face behind her glasses.

She plopped down on the desk at the front of the room as she finished removing her outerwear, turned to look at the clock, and then beamed at the class. “Well Good afternoon Philosophy 201, today we are continuing our discussion of paradoxes, where to start…good a place as any, the Ship of Theseus, a nice practical one. Now how many of you can explain the thought experiment from the reading?” Most hands shot up and then Eliza narrowed her eyes mischievously “How many of you actually did the reading and didn’t rely on the fact the thought experiment was included in Wandavision?” a few hands awkwardly went down resulting in a chorus of laughter including Professor Dawson’s own.

She waved a hand dismissively “Well, so you know the thought experiment but then not the discussion on it, that’s why you do the readings kids! Now then Tammy, front row would you please summarize the thought experiment for the class?”

A red-haired woman in the front of the room gave an anxious nod and then started. “A king has a boat that he uses all the time, and after a while, it starts to break and stuff? So they replace the broken parts until every part has been replaced and then it’s asked whether the boat is still the same boat that it was at the start.”

Eliza smiles and nods “Oliver, can you tell us the additional prompt Thomas Hobbes added to the thought experiment?”

A bulky young black man who was staring out the window seemed caught off guard and tried to gather his thoughts. “Um…ah…wait yeah, that was like if the parts that got removed from the jawn were gathered together, were fixed and junk and then put together again. Is that boat the kings ship or is it the new one that’s been um…fixed with time…right?”

“Ah the 201’s are so much better than the 101s. They still have the nerves of a young student but there’s actually a desire to learn and grow.” Eliza thought as she nodded.

“That’s correct, generally speaking the ship of Theseus is a thought experiment about the continuity of objects. We’ll get more into individual interpretations in just a second but I want to first elaborate on why I personally, me, myself, I think this is an important thought experiment for young people to consider.”

The room was finally starting to heat up and Professor Dawson let her cardigan drop down around her shoulders as she continued speaking. “You’re often asked, and adults often ask children what you want to be when you grow up but this in of itself is a falsehood. You like the ship of Theseus will be remade roughly once every 10 years. That’s roughly the amount of time it takes for the body to replace every single cell in your body.”

She touches her nose and pushes up her glasses “It’s also roughly the amount of time that experts have determined it takes to master a new skill. So before we get into discussions about interpretations and how various philosophers have applied the thought experiment to the metaphysical explanations for thinking about the world, it’s important to recognize that the Ship of Theseus is something each of you are and will experience multiple times over the course of your life. So anytime you think you’ve hit a wall or things are not turning out the way you thought…keep it in mind.

Eliza scanned the room and saw a few eyes light up. Not everyone, but a few. That was enough for her. Philosophy was often too abstract for the average person and often boiled down to being “That’s really interesting, so what?” If Eliza could get a few people to realize that philosophy was a living breathing thing that affected their day-to-day life…that would be enough.

“Alright, that’s enough proselytizing from me for the day. Isaac, could you please summarize David Lewis’s thoughts on the Ship of Theseus?”

Eliza was packing things up at the front of the room. It had been a good two hours, lots of participation and she was happy with how many people engaged excitedly with the material. She really hoped they kept thinking about it after they left today but that would be on them not her at this point. She was interrupted by someone clearing their throat next to her and turning to see Sophia.

Sophia she knew was one of her older students, someone who was returning to education after a break for whatever reason. Eliza smiled “Can I help you dear?”

Sophia couldn’t seem to make eye contact with her and seemed hesitant but then opened her mouth “I just wanted to say that I really appreciate what you said at the start of the class…about being able to remake ourselves and all. I didn’t know that about cells but…it’s nice to think about.

Eliza’s smile softened and nodded “It really is, after my divorce, I often felt like things were over for me, y’know I had done what I was supposed to do and then screwed it up? Then I realized I was only 40, The bulk of my life ahead of me. Maybe it’s not easy but there’s always a chance, yeah?”

Sophie smiled and nodded “Thanks professor” She then hoisted up her bag and left the room.

Finished gathering her things, Eliza went to do the same and that was when the whole world turned black.

The blonde found herself standing on a stage looking out into an audience. It didn’t look like many people were here and then a voice rang out.

“Professor Dawson?!” Eliza looked to the source of the voice and saw a young woman, it took her a moment to recognize her as young Ms. Wright, it had been years since she saw her last.

In his own seat, Caleb was sweating. It wasn’t who he thought but the fact that now he had dragged in his favourite professor from his university days put a pit in his gut and then he saw the host point his stick at her. In a panic, remembering the chair from earlier he yelled “No! Don’t hurt her!”

The host merely raised an eyebrow as his stick flashed and the group watched as light shone in Ms Dawson's eyes before a look of understanding crept across her face “So this is a game show?”

Seeing the look on his cast’s face Lucian sighed “I just put the answers to the constant questions I’ve been receiving in her mind. I’m tired of the bit. There’s five more of you to go and I don’t want to have to explain the same thing over and over”

His explanation seemed to put a sour expression on his assistant’s face who leaned in toward Professor Dawson “Yes, a second chance at love, doesn’t that sound great?”

Eliza laughed sadly “With a former student half my age…not exactly how I would picture it…but I’m aware I don’t have much choice in the matter do I?”

Lucian smiled “None at all dear but why don’t you go ahead and introduce yourself to our lovely audience!”

Eliza found herself turning and smiling all independent of her own thoughts which she couldn’t help but marvel at as her lips opened, “Hello everyone! I’m Eliza Dawn, I’m 57 years old and a professor of philosophy at $&%@$% University. I taught both Mr Ward and Ms Wright during my time there. I’ve been married before but my husband divorced me so while I’m not a virgin I am single. I take pride in being relatable to young people so maybe that will work to my advantage here.”

Still shocked by what happened, Eliza was surprised as Reyna grabbed her hand and grinned “Come let’s get you a seat!”

Caleb was increasingly dreading each new contestant. As he watched Reyna lead Eliza down to the audience next to Mira, he could already see a pattern. None of these women had been random, they all had some connection to him. Which could only mean this was going to get much worse.

Seeing Eliza seated, Lucian waved his slapstick “Let’s keep things moving right along, the next contestant may have only met Caleb once but no one can deny the impact she had on his life, give it up for Amy Tanaka!”

“No!” This time it wasn’t Caleb who rose up in protest but Lily and he knew she had every right to be upset.