Meanwhile, Back at the Hotel

Glitterdust

Harper having left to get ready for her date, Glitterdust and Mattie finish their episode marathon. By the time they are done, a very, very irritated mermaid pops out of a staff tube. “Ugh, that’s what I get for complaining about having nothing to do. Here, Slut, your personal order. Your delivery for the Mistress has been arranged in the Suite and your delivery for your harem-sisters has been placed in the bathhouse. Now, write some letters! Mark’s season has another fan mail section coming up and I want some letters to deliver. Not giant anime statues! Let... ters.”

With that, the mermaid dives and swims away. Ooooh. Mary’s season! Maybe I can convince her to embrace her proper place as a lesser MtF goddess! She’s not MY MtF goddess, but she can be a secondary one.

Mattie interrupts her thoughts, “Sooooo, what’s in the box?”

Glitterdust smugly smiles, “Oh, just a body pillow of MY MtF goddess! Perfect for snuggles when I sleep on MY treasure pile in MY goddess’s Suite tonight, at least until she returns to ME!”

Mattie shakes her head, chuckling at something. Certainly not Glitterdust. She then asks, “Soooo, whatcha buy Sarge?”

“Oh, well, I was probing MY MtF goddess’s mind and bought her a statute of her favorite girl from a bunch of different seasons! I want MY goddess to have a good Harem Hotel collection! Wanna see the present for us girls?”

The two head to the bathhouse. Josie and Tina are soaking in the bathhouse pool, laughing at what Glitterdust bought. The dragon beams. She got 2 statues of Harper (now blue!), both life size. One is a serialized limited edition ahegao face statue, still mint in it’s box; that one got placed in a Harem Hotel life size statue case. The other, a regular edition, she had unboxed (despite how gross that makes her feel), just so the harem would have something to nuzzle when their goddess is too busy at the moment. Like right now. Glitterdust stomps over to the no-longer-mint statue and gives it a big hug, using her amazing psychic power to have the statue wrap its arms around her.

Mattie ruins the mood, “Sooooo, how exactly did you pay for all of this? I assume a dozen of these would be impractically expensive.”

“Wait, there’s more!” Tina exclaims.

“She ordered a bunch for Sarge, too.”

Josie and Tina both cackle. Glitterdust, annoyed, exclaims, “I’m a dragon, remember? I have soooo much treasure. My Harem Hotel collection is an investment opportunity. It’s my favorite part of my portfolio. Just ‘cause some of you can’t appreciate art doesn’t mean...”

“Hey, not trying to yuck your yum or anything,” Josie offers, “It’s just that the idea of Harper having a bunch of Harem Hotel merch is hilarious. She’s going to be so annoyed. Skye’s going to have dinner done soon, if y’all are up to it.”

Daphne

Only a few more minutes.

Daphne had a good time on her date with Scarlet. Now, she’s having a fun time restocking the shop. She thrusts into the dildo to operate the bellows. A glass bottle expands out of the other end and rapidly cools. The machine plucks the bottle off and places it in a box, cushioned with those little Styrofoam packing peanut things. Josie needs some more glassware and Daphne is happy to make some for her. She’s cummed like a half dozen times.

A last bottle is made, then the machine dissipates. She struggles to stand up. Giving up, she crawls down to the recovery room to, well, recover. Flopping onto a couch, she checks her phone and starts to write a couple of letters as requested. Weird human legs still feeling all wiggly, she texts Josie: “Josie, I’m tired. Come carry me!”

The reply is immediate and heart-breaking: “Stop being lazy, Fish.”

Daphne pouts a little. Then, she hears footsteps come down the stairs. Aelene is here.

“This one has been ordered to carry you to Mistress Skye, good mermaid Daphne. Are you ready?”

Daphne nods and Aelene scoops her up in a princess carry. The bikini clad elven princess gently walks up the stairs, unaffected by Daphne’s giggles and squees. Once they are out of the shop, she asks, “This one heard that you might enjoy being carried while this one runs. Shall this one run the rest of the way?”

Daphne nods enthusiastically. Aelene begins to jog, then picks up speed. Wheeeee!!!!!!!!!!!

Scarlet

The tavern is empty, save for Circe, who is furiously washing bar-ware glasses. She put Scarlet to work (topless, of course) cleaning dishes too. The oread takes the rinsed glasses and soak them in the near boiling sanitizer water. She pulls them out and places them in the drying racks.

The tension in the room is thick. Scarlet tries to cut through it. “Hey, Circe, you okay?”

Circe puts on a customer service smile that doesn’t reach her eyes. “I’m fine, Scarlet. I’m fine.”

Scarlet places a hand on the bartending mermaid’s shoulder. “You are obviously not. Have you even given yourself a chance to mourn?”

The mermaid slams the glass she’s cleaning down, shattering it on the floor. She lets out a pained hiss, then starts to sob. The oread wraps her arms around her and the mermaid just lets it all out. “I mean, I get I’m supposed to be the cool, steady bartender, but, but, sometimes I just need someone to listen to me!”

“There, there, Circe. It’ll be okay.” A wealth of treatments flood Scarlet’s head, as everything she learned from her degrees that could be helpful for the situation. Yet, it sticks in her throat. She can’t say it. Just like with Josie and Tina yesterday. Instead, she offers, “My evolved transformation can help you, Circe, if you want a quick fix.”

The mermaid sniffs, still lightly sobbing. “How can you heal my broken heart for dozens of dead kin?”

The calculations swirl in Scarlet’s head. The exact levels of perversity and frequency to create the intended effect. It both disturbs and arouses her. She pulls out the exact text of the Magic of Career Change for Circe to see. “If you want to try, I want you to find the biggest dildo you can find that will fit in your throat. Use it to bring yourself to orgasm at least once per day. Easy, right?”

Scarlet watches as the information pours into Circe. She reaches down underneath the bar and pulls out a 20 inch silicon dildo, shaped like a club(?) and shrugs, “I mean, I do that everyday anyways. Ol’ Beluga Baculum Blaster here is the closest thing I have to a lover. So, I’ll give it a shot. Mind giving me something to masturbate to?”

Scarlet sighs, “My tits being out isn’t enough?”

“Nope. You still owe me a dance for the night. Get to it.”

Sighing again, the oread struts over to take the stage as Circe sits down at a table for the first time Scarlet has seen. A porn parody of Baby Beluga starts to play, Circe humming along as she starts to pump the dildo down her throat. Yup. I’ve officially gotten used to the weird.

Scarlet: +1 BP (Circe is a cheapskate)

Tina

“Aha, Daphne, you fell for my trap card! I sacrifice my Mystra to cast Bigby’s Big Bounce for free!”

Daphne should be shivering in her non-existent boots at the power of my Mystra pre-con. Why isn’t she?

The mermaid who apparently learned how to play Leylines yesterday and has made her deck with little slips of paper covering real cards in the sleeves, just shrugs. “Ok. Cool. In response, I cast Arcane Denial. You’re out of Leylines to tap into, so you probably can’t respond. On cast, Eadro gives me a mermaid token. But, hey, you get to draw a couple of cards on my turn. That’s fun, right?”

Grumble, grumble. How dare she disrespect Mystra by countering the big free spell. Again. She has so many mermaid tokens! I got to do something. I mean, she doesn’t have any blockers up, other than that one token she just made and her Deity. I guess I can swing out and try to kill her that way? Tina declares her attackers.

“Aha, Tina, you fell for my trap card! Did I say that right? That wasn’t part of the rules Mattie taught me. Anyways, I cast Reweave targeting this tapped token flipping to a... Rootwater Hunter? That’s not much of an improvement. Anyways, I get another mermaid from Eadro, Rootie here blocks your 0/1 you attacked with for no good reason, Eadro blocks your 1/1 guy, and the tokens blocks the big vanilla things there. I’m down to 5 life. Anything else?”

“Pass the turn.”

Tina draws two leylines. Daphne draws 2 cards too, then does her little butt wiggling dance she does when she’s super happy. “I play a Leyline, then cast Time Warp! Make a token. With the rest of my leylines, I cast Polymorph, targeting the token I just made. I flip to Scourge of Fleets! Neat! I bounce your board and make another token. Swing with everything that I can. You’re down to 3 life. Then I take my extra turn, untap, draw my card, and swing out again. I win! Good game!”

Huh? “Huh?”

Daphne explains everything slower. Tina’s ears droop. “Why do I keep losing! I haven’t won a game since we got here!”

Daphne opens her mouth, just for Mattie to shush her. “If Tina wants to get good, she’ll figure it out. So, let her do it. Or at least let her ask Harper when they get back.”

Skye, who has started to serve dinner, simply states, “Put up your toys, you three. Time for Evensong, then food.”

Skye

Glitterdust is an... interesting new addition to our family. She is very... enthusiastic about my wife. I wonder what it would be like to tie her up like the pet she claims to be?

Skye really hopes that those thoughts will dissipate once last night’s ropeplay trigger ends as she is half paying attention to Glitterdust gushing over Harper. The dragon-girl is quite animated.

Everyone enjoyed dinner and are sitting around the table, all feeling a little too lethargic to get up and go. Tina and Ms. Daphne are arguing about that silly game they were playing. Ms. Mattie is trying to mediate, while joking around. Josie and Ms. Scarlet are chatting. And Aelene is still refusing to sit at the table like a person. Skye’s heart breaks for the elf. Maybe if I let one of the others play with my toy she would be more free? Was I making her worse by keeping her around? I don’t know.

Ms. Scarlet pointedly looks at Skye, then addresses the table, “So, hey, I should let everyone know. I paid off my loan as part of my date yesterday and it gave me a different transformation. I can remember what I learned, but I can’t exactly use it anymore.”

“So, when you were offering us a quick and easy way to resolve our problem during your date...” Josie prods.

“I was offering to use my transformation on you. Basically, I can write prescriptions for sex acts to treat mental conditions.”

“You were gonna have us have sex in front of your parents?”

“Probably not that. I was asking before I would have evaluated it. Also, please don’t talk about having sex in front of my parents, given what I did with Harper last night.”

Half the table finds it mirthful. Skye is with the other half (confused).

“Well,” Ms. Mattie states, “I think that’s pretty rad, Red.”

“Don’t make me give you a prescription for your nickname problem, Mattie.”

“Okay, okay. Tina, Teeth, y’all wanna 2v1 me after dinner? I think we’re all just kind of treating this as a lazy day.”

“This one would like to delve.” Aelene says from beside Skye’s feet.

There is an idea. “Josie, would you mind giving my toy a pilates lesson tonight?”

“I’m a little sore from my bunny workout this afternoon, but I can try. Why?”

Skye blushes. She feels embarrassed by what she’s thinking. Helpfully, Ms. Scarlet bails her out with, “Because I promised her a massage and this is a good night to deliver it. She wants someone to spend time with the girl. That fair?”

Skye blushes harder. Ms. Scarlet gives her a little smirk. She feels herself being pulled into the oread. Ms. Scarlet gives her girlfriends each a kiss (including Ms. Daphne), then waves goodbye to everyone. “I promised to show you how I would make love to you. I hope you don’t mind me doing that now. I mainly just wanted you to get some space from Aelene. Are you okay?”

“I don’t know. I’m in love with her, but the ropes...”

“If it gets too bad, just let me know, okay? For now, would you like me to fulfill my promise? We can do something else instead, if you want?”

“One more lesson to please my wife would be appreciated before my date tomorrow.”

“Good.”

Scarlet: +2 VP (Brought Another Slut to Orgasm [Lick Lower Lips to Leaking])

Skye: +2 VP (Brought Another Slut to Orgasm [Lick Lower Lips to Leaking])

Skye: +1 Endurance

Josie

As Josie escorts the high elf to her Den of Sweaty Seduction, she notices Aelene slowly start to act more normally (for her). Between her fight with Tina and date shenanigans, the wolf-girl has not spent a lot of time with her. If she’s as like Skye as I think she is, this is going to be awkward.

“So, hey, Aelene, we don’t have to do this.”

“This one has been ordered by Mistress Skye to take a pilates class. This one doesn’t know what pilates are. Are pilates an important thing in your culture?”

“Oh, huh. Okay. Pilates is an exercise regiment that focuses on isometric contractions via holding stretches. It’s sort of like yoga, in a way? Pilates aren’t that important. I wanted to give you an out because this is a transformation thing. If we both cum from this, you gain +1 Dexterity.”

Aelene looks like she needs to process that. “Stat gains are always appreciated, even if this one must do something perverted first. But, if you don’t mind, may this one write the requested letter first. This one finds independent thought easier when this one is away from this one’s Mistresses.”

“Go ahead. That rope thing has really messed with you, huh?”

Aelene sits and summons calligraphy tools. She starts to type on her phone, slowly writing as she goes. “This one’s Mistresses brought something to hopefully fix that. This one will see in the morning if it worked.”

Well, that’s good. Not six hours of sex with Tina good, but good. Man, her handwriting is atrocious. And I thought she was supposed to be a princess?

As if sensing her thoughts, Aelene notes, “This one is used to writing in Elvish, like civilized people do. Common has a different script. It’s difficult. I am sure if I asked you to write in Elvish, you would not have such an easy time.”

“I mean, I learned Sylvan, so maybe not?”

Aelene switches to Sylvan, asking, “<Really?>”

“<Really. Of the language options I had when I grabbed a feat, this one felt like the most appropriate if I had to talk to another wolf-girl in a native tongue?>”

“<Yes, Beastkin use Sylvan as a native language, at least back home. People in my world learn Common primarily to talk to each other when the native tongues are different, but most people learn Elvish as a first language back home. I am sure some of my social awkwardness is due to having to communicate in a language I know, but barely use. Everything sounds so harsh in Common, you know?>”

“<And everything sounds a little loopy in this to me, but, then again, I haven’t had much chance to use it. If you’d like, we could practice together? Make each other more comfortable in a language we don’t often (or ever) use at home?>”

“<This one would like that, good luchtoni Josie. If you don’t mind, this one would like to focus on this letter now.>”

Josie sits beside the elf, staying quiet, outside of giving her pointers on forming her letters. Sex can wait. Fuck. That’s a weird thought, coming from me.

Aelene: +10 VP (Brought Another Slut to Orgasm [Scimitar Scissoring])

Aelene: +1 Dexterity

Mattie

Mattie borrowed a deck from the Battlebox and she won the first game. She was about to grab a different deck (as is the usual tradition on DDH; when you win, you switch), only for Teeth to ask her to keep that one. Odd.

Teeth then proceeded to carry Blondie and won the second game basically single handed.

“Sorry, Mattie. Having a teammate took a little adjustment. Also, the polymorph spells make this deck a little random right now. I should probably tweak the list to cut out most of the bad polymorph hits?”

“Um, seriously, how am I so bad? Will one of you please tell me?” Blondie pouts.

Sparkles, who was busy cuddling with her Sarge body pillow while watching, blurts out, “If I understand the game correctly, all of your 10th level spells are actions. And Mystra’s sac effect requires her to tap and she doesn’t have haste. So, she has to sit on the field for a whole round before you can use her and you can’t use her as a reaction due to timing rules. So, your deck is easily shut down by just killing Mystra before you can use her.”

Blondie’s ears droop so low. “Oh.”

4 sexually satisfied harem-sisters return to the cafeteria. Mattie watches Abs wrap her arms around Blondie. Red gives Teeth a similar hug. Mrs. Skye and Nerves sneak back into their room, with Mrs. Skye giving everyone a little wave goodnight. Mattie’s heart hurts a little. Where’s my hug?

“So, you all have fun?” Red asks.

Teeth nods yes, giggling when Red gives her a little kiss on the cheek. Mattie shrugs. Tina pouts, “I keep losing. And the dumb dragon that was watching us play figured out why.”

“I am not a dumb dragon! I am a big, sexy dragon!”

“I was hoping you’d figure it out on your own, Tina, but I’ll help improve your deck when I get the chance, if you’d like.” Blondie beams, bouncing up into Josie. Then, 4 harem-sisters head to their rooms, leaving just Mattie and Sparkles alone.

The dragon sighs, “I guess I should head upstairs, then.”

“Wait, Sparkles. My roommate is out for the night. Would you like to join me? No point in both of us being alone tonight.”

Sparkles looks confused, but happy. “You would not mind sharing your room with ME?”

“’Course not, Sparkles. We’re sex buds, right?”

With a wiggle of her cute little butt and a waggle of her (kinda weird) floating spines, Sparkles bounds to her feet, dragging Mattie to her room. Alright then. Good to know.

Behind the Scenes

“But MOM!!!!!!!” Iris whines, “I don’t get enough air time! How can I make it to the big leagues if nobody writes letters to the dumb contestants or anything?”

Ariel sighs, handing over the grandbaby she was playing with to her mother. “Look, Iris, I can’t **** people to write to the cast. It’s against the game rules. And, anyways, you did get some air time today when you delivered all of those Harem Hotel merch store packages, didn’t you? I could transfer you to a different department. How would you like to run a shop?”

Iris rolls her eyes. “I’m not a lame Zoe, Mom. You could at least make the dumb show-runner do its thing to maybe generate some fan mail?”

The Show-Runner

So, the staff has requested that I open up the spigot for some fan mail (again). I have already a need to schedule a “react to delivered fan mail reactions,” but, given what’s happened and what’s about to go down, some actual fan mail would be nice. Given the timey-wimey warping nature of the show and it’s episode release cadence, I humbly request that you submit your fan mail (via the messaging system on site) by 20 Aug 2025.