Matthew and The Genie

Matthew wished he had a cool story about how he had found his way to the burial chamber, but in truth, he had left his group to go to the bathroom, and gotten lost in the passageways of the twisting tomb. What the hell was this place, anyway? It felt like he was exploring a pyramid, but it was entirely underground, and even older. He wondered if there were more than one of these structures, scattered throughout the middle east, or if this was the only one. Even stranger, the passageways seemed to have been made from a single giant rock, as if the tunnels had been carved into it.

However, he cared more about his new discovery, to think he would stumble on the burial chamber! He looked at the chamber, and saw the tomb, with carvings above it. He barely spoke any Arabic, so he promptly ignored it, other than to note that it seemed to be an older dialect, which would have been pretty clear with how old the tomb was. Really, something like opening the sarcophagus shouldn't be done by one person without most of the gear, but he sure wasn't going to just make a note of this in his notebook and then leave!

He put on the gloves he was carrying in his pocket, and tugged on the heavy stone lid, and managed to lift it up enough to shove it off. However, what he saw inside was not a shilled corpse like he had expected. In fact, it was almost empty. He would have assumed that some tomb robber had made it there before him, but what they had left behind was a jeweled golden oil lamp.

No way.

He ignored the writing on the tomb, still unable to read it, and picked up the lamp. He felt silly, but he rubbed it. Nothing happened. Of course, he thought, what had he expected, a genie to just pop out and grant him three wishes? He hesitated, knowing that it was a terrible idea to do what he was about to do. Then he pulled off one of his gloves and tried again.

He heard the sound of liquid trickling into the lamp, and then a small flame appeared on the end as it lit itself. Smoke flowed out of the flame, and quickly formed a person sized cloud. In an instant, the flame went out, and the smoke dispersed. Standing, or rather, floating four inches off the ground, as a woman with a body curvy enough to feel more like a man's fantasy than a real woman, golden brown skin with black hair and brown eyes, and wearing nothing but jewelry. She was also speaking in a language he didn't understand, but he was paying more attention to her appearance.

He realized she had stopped speaking, and brought himself back to reality. Or what now passed for such. "Uh... sorry, I only speak English." he admitted. He was surprised when she reacted with a broad smile, as if to tell him that that was alright.

"English?" she asked, surprising the young american man with her British accent. "You're from England? No, the colonies. I mean, the United States." she corrected herself without giving him a chance to speak. Even once she realized he wasn't from England, she kept the accent.

The Genie had been trapped for what felt like forever. Without her, the world had turned into a horrid mess of things, as with her gone, the magic she had worked had faded. The sexual paradise she had carefully crafted through the ingenious method of going with whatever whim she had at the given time was no more. Still, she just had to wait. Someone would come. She knew, because it had been the last wish she made before she was sealed in this prison. She had wished that someday, a human would find her. And as she heard the lid being removed from her coffin, she knew her wish had come true at last.

For a while, she thought the human had thought better of releasing her, and hoped that he would at least bring her out of the prison. Then he picked her up and rubbed her, but not with his bare hand. She thought he wouldn't figure it out, but saw him pull his glove off, and braced herself. His hand touched the lamp, and she moaned softly inside of it. It felt wonderful to have her lamp rubbed, it was a pity that most people would only do it to her once. Not that she didn't have other ways of getting pleasure. She left the lamp in her usual fashion, and appeared on earth for the first time in thousands of years.

She had always tried to make humans waste as many wishes as possible, so that she could use as many of hers as she could. However, some of them came back to bite her. First, that she had to state the rules to her powers the moment she was summoned. And second, that she always had to say them in Arabic. She had used that loophole before, after all.

<Hello, I am the Genie. My powers work like this. If you make a wish, which must be made while holding my lamp, verbal, and begin with "I wish" I will grant it. You can make as many wishes as you please, but for every three wishes I grant, I get to make a wish as well. I can store my wishes for as long as I want. Wishes I make cannot affect you unless you allow it, but your own wishes can affect you. I can twist the meaning of your words to alter what happens from your wish to an outcome I prefer. Only you can see and touch me. Simple commands such as moving, changing my appearance, telling you something, and touching you do not need wishes. Some wishes will generally not be granted immediately, and instead things will immediately begin moving in the direction of that occurrence. Now, how may I serve my lord?>

"Uh... sorry, I only speak English." She smiled wide, almost laughing at how badly the wishes meant to keep her from withholding information had backfired. She couldn't tell him the rules in English even if he asked, unless he made a wish on it.

"English?" she asked, easily slipping into a British accent, even though it hadn't existed when she had last been out. "You're from England? No, the colonies. I mean, the United States." she hadn't been paying as much attention to the outside world lately, so she was catching up as she spoke. She kept the accent, and decided that she liked it.

"Now," she asked, "Do you have any wishes?"