Mario arrives

Princess Peach had just finished getting dressed when a koopa came rushing down the stairs.

"My Lord," he cried. "We just got word that Mario just defeated the last of the Koopalings! He should be arriving here any minute!"

Peach looked up at her new lover. "I don't want to go back to the Mushroom Kingdom just yet. I want you to show me the rest of your castle. Maybe it's time to put a stop to this constant cycle of you **** me and Mario coming to my rescue."

"Are you sure that's what you want?" Bowser asked.

"Yes. Come on, let's go."

"I'm here to rescue the Princess!" Mario shouted, as he jumped towards the gate of Bowser's castle. He stomped on one of the koopa guards and shot a fireball at another. Suddenly, Bowser leapt down from the castle walls with Peach in his arms.

"What if I don't want to be rescued?" Peach shouted as Bowser set her down. "Go away Mario! The Mushroom Kingdom is so boring, and I want to spend some time here with Bowser. I'll come back when I'm good and ready; you don't have to worry about coming and rescuing me anymore."

"Wh- what?" Mario looked from Peach to Bowser in confusion.

"It's true," Bowser said. "Peach is no longer my prisoner, and doesn't need rescuing. She is my guest and is free to leave whenever she wants. Now get off my property!"

"You must have brainwashed her or put her under a spell! I'm not leaving here without her!" Mario shouted defiantly.

Bowser smiled. He had almost hoped that Mario would say that. "Take the princess back inside," he said to the remaining guards. "Okay Mario, let's fight this out like real men, one on one. No koopas to "help" me (though they mostly just provided Mario with shells to use as ammunition, Bowser thought wryly), and no tricks or switches for you to use. Or you can run away with your nonexistent tail between your legs!"