Man to man talk.

Finally in my safe space, away from people’s eyes, their conversations and their very presence, I felt at ease. Or I should have.

I stood by the window and looked down at the yard, watching my schoolmates. Some were talking with their groups or friends, others were tossing a ball around and trying not to let it drop, a lot of them were staring at their phones.

What kind of person did I have to be to be able to do stuff like that? Not the phone thing, obviously. What did I have to do to stop worrying and overthinking every little thing? Who did I have to become to simply be able to speak my mind and be accepted by everyone? I didn’t know, and though I wanted to stop that train of thought, the silence made me come back to it.

Said silence was interrupted by a couple of knocks on the door before someone immediately opened it. I looked behind me to see Thomas looking at me with a small frown. What was he doing here?

“What’s got you so worried that you can’t say hello when you walk by?” he asked. His words were harsh, but his tone told me he was messing with me. Mostly. I could at least tell that much by now.

“You were with your girlfriend,” I said. “I didn’t want to interrupt.”

Thomas laughed. “She’s not gonna shoo you off, man. You can say hello.”

I nodded. “It’s… still weird. I don’t really know her, so…”

“And whose fault is that?” He stood beside me and leaned back against the window frame. “I’ve invited you to hang out, but you never want to.”

I took a deep breath. “I’d be a third wheel.”

“We’re not gonna start making out in front of you, dude. We can hang out as friends, do something together. How do you know you and Lyla won’t hit it off and become good friends?”

I sighed. He wasn’t wrong. I didn’t know. But at the same time… “How do you know I won’t just annoy or creep her out?” Then he’d be friends with a guy she didn’t like. Would Thomas hang out even less with me because of it? I didn’t think he would, but it was possible.

Thomas groaned. “You always think of the worst scenarios, don’t you? Why don’t you tell me how it went with Mila yesterday? Was that a worst case scenario?”

I flinched. Did he know or was it just a hunch on his part?

“It went… really well,” I admitted.

Thomas’ frown faded and he smiled at me. “That’s good. How well, if I may?”

Could I tell him? Mila had Grace and Sarah to confide in. Could I trust Thomas as much? I wanted to share this with someone.

I swallowed. “Not a word to anyone,” I stated firmly.

Thomas nodded. “Taking it with me to the grave.”

“…I went with her to a boutique. She bought new clothes and asked for my opinion. She… teased me a lot, in a good way. Then we went to a coffee shop. We… talked about what this… relationship is. I understand it a bit better now.” I smiled. “It was fun.”

Thomas kept silent, smiling and nodding for me to keep going.

“T-T-Then… She… We…” I swallowed again, trying to ease the knot in my throat, trying to allow the words to come out. “We went to a love hotel.”

“Oh shit,” Thomas exclaimed with a soft chuckle. “Did you take her there or was it her idea?”

“Her idea. W-We both wanted to, though.”

“Nice place?”

“…I wouldn’t know. It was a small room. It was clean. H-Have you ever been to a love hotel?”

Thomas frowned and crossed his arms. “No.” He sighed. “Lyla and I… don’t do it a lot.” He sounded frustrated. “She’s tense whenever we do it. I don’t think she enjoys it. It’s been stressing me out because I want to do it, but I also don’t want her to feel like I’m forcing her to.” He suddenly blinked and winced. “Shit. Sorry, man. I started talking about my problems all of a sudden.”

I shook my head. It was weird to hear him talk about his own sex life, and it really sucked that he was having troubles… But it made me a little happy that he would trust me enough to tell me.

“Why do you think she doesn’t enjoy it?” I asked.

“I don’t know. I’d prefer to believe it’s just a matter of compatibility. See, I…” He stopped himself for a second and looked at me with a wry smile. “Are you really comfortable talking about this?”

I shook my head. “But neither are you, right?”

Thomas chuckled. I saw him relax a bit. “I have a big penis. About 22 cm long. I wish I was bragging, but no. You’ve heard how everyone thinks a big penis is always better, right? Well, not in my case. It hurts Lyla. Just the thought of it makes it hard for her to get wet. She even has trouble giving me blowjobs. I really like her and I don’t want this to be a problem, so I’ve gotten good at fingering her and all that. But… Yeah…”

I had to fight back the awkwardness. It was clear neither of us liked the topic, but… well, a friend was having a problem. A serious problem. I wanted to offer some advice if I could, but I barely knew anything about sex. My experiences so far had been out of this world, but I was just acting on instinct. Was there anything I could tell Thomas?

“Um… H-How about trying lube?” I asked, remembering some videos I’d watched.

Thomas nodded. “We’ve tried. It’s better, yeah, but just barely. Still not exactly good for her.”

I grimaced and racked my head trying to think of something, but nothing came to mind. Thomas then slapped me on the back and laughed.

“Hey, relax. I didn’t tell you this expecting you to magically solve my problems. Finally getting it out of my chest helps, though. Thanks for not laughing about it.”

“…I don’t think I could laugh about something like this.”

“Had a feeling, which is why I told you. Thanks for listening. I hope your experiences have been better than mine?” My face heated up and I was very hesitant to talk about it. That made Thomas frown again and cross his arms. “I told you something damn embarrassing. You have to at least give me a couple of details.”

He had a point. Dammit.

“…It’s about the opposite for me. I’m… also big,” I admitted, omitting the fact that this was a recent thing. “But the girls say I’m… really good.” God, my face could be on fire for all I knew. “I don’t know how, but I’m sure they really like it. Of course, I like it too. Yesterday, Mila and I… did it for like two hours straight.”

Thomas groaned and caught me into a headlock. “Urgh, you lucky bastard!”

“H-Hey!”

With the size difference between us, I was in an awkward position. I think I could’ve gotten out of it if I pushed hard, but Thomas wasn’t putting any strength into his hold, either. He was just playing. He let me go soon after.

“Oliver, let’s go out for burgers after school. I still owe you for asking you to help with that thing at the storage room and then leaving you alone, so I’m paying. No buts.”

I smiled. “Yes, you do owe me. You’re paying.” I wasn’t about to do all that work and refuse proper compensation, especially since he had promised. Besides, I was still going out with Grace on Saturday and Sarah on Sunday. I needed to save money.

“Good.” Thomas put up his fist, and I’m ashamed to admit it took me like five seconds to realize he was offering a fist bump.

It was a short and very, very weird conversation. One that I never expected to have, at least. But I did feel a little closer to Thomas. I was hoping I wasn’t the only one.

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