Make something up

You decide to have a little fun after the stressful episode with the hostages since Taylor Swift doesn't seem to recognize you.

"Ma'am," you say, sounding serious, "I'm with a top secret government agency that specializes in monitoring abnormal activity. It has come to our attention that you or what appears to be you, may have been **** and replaced with a stand-in."

It takes Taylor a while to understand what you're vaguely describing before she puts down the guitar and turns around. "What?!?" she exclaims. "You think I've been **** by aliens and I'm not who I am?"

"Ma'am, I didn't say aliens."

"But that's what you mean! How do I even know you're really from the government? Can I see some ID?"

You discreetly activate one of your magic rings without Taylor noticing and stop time. Then, you go over to her purse and rummage through it for something useful. You find her phone but it's locked, so you bring it over to Taylor and press her finger against it to unlock it. She smells unbelievably nice and you can see down the valley of her dress. Before doing anything else, you bend down and kiss her chest between her breasts, and quickly lick the side of her right breast.

Then, you look through Taylor's phone at her recent text messages and emails, committing them to memory, before putting the phone back and returning to where you were standing. You restart time and Taylor flinches for a second, surprised at the faint sensation she feels on her chest.

"Ma'am, people like me, from agencies you're not even supposed to know about, don't carry IDs. But I can prove it," you say. You then rattle off a list of her most recent texts and emails and you can see she believes you from her expression.

"Oh gosh. The only way for you to know that is... wow. Okay. But I'm not an alien," Taylor says.

"Ma'am, you may not even know it. Some 'abductors' specialize in removing a person's brain and placing it in a synthetic substitute so that they can keep the human body, since they lack um, certain body functions."

Taylor is confused. "What do you mean? What body functions?"

You pretend to look embarrassed to say it. "Well... you know, ma'am, reproductive organs. That's the reason why they abduct people, to ensure the survival of their kind."

"Oh! Wow." Taylor is stunned and doesn't know what to say for a few moments. "So what now? You take me to your secret base for examinations? I have a sold-out show I need to do in a few hours on the most visible stage in the biggest city in the world. I can't just disappear."