Lumberjack Fantasies

Admittedly I could probably win with "Firing a rifle while balls deep in a squealing hog", but I wanted to save it for a better joke. So I hedged my bets and put down "Lumberjack Fantasies", curious to see what my competition would bring.

I passed the card to Illy who dutifully shuffled it into the growing pile, and with a flourish she flipped all five cards over.

"You've gotta read each one of them aloud," said Moggie, "it's more fun that way."

Illy cocked her head and smiled before obliging the wacky boy.

"Okay, um, 50% of all marriages end in... Alcoholism."

We all laughed especially the boys. "My mom's first certainly did," joked Hector.

Illy continued. "50% of all marriages end in --oh my god-- My genitals."

This one got an even bigger laugh.

"Yeah they do," Natalie hooted, slapping the sides of her thighs, gesturing to just that.

"50% of all marriages end in...German dungeon porn? What does that even mean?"

I knowingly chortled with Natalie, looking at Illy with a pitying smile.

"Yeah is it like, do marriages end with the couple doing German dungeon porn? Or is it like, in the plots of German dungeon porn, do half of them involve divorce?" Hector laughed, teasing out the question intellectually.

"That's not what she's asking," retorted Kim K.

"But inquiring minds need to know" Hector smiled, "for philosophical reason."

"I guess that's up to Illy to decide," I said.

"I'm just going to move on," the young girl replied her cheeks turning pink, the group laughter finally dying down."50% of all marriages end in Stuffing my peehole with Tic Tacs --ewwww."

Moggie laughed, but most of the group joined in with Illy's disgust.

"What is this game?!" The cutesy blonde lamented.

"Just read the last card," Natalie pushed and once again Illy obliged.

"50% of all marriages end in Lumberjack fantasies."

My card. It got some chuckles, not as many as I would have liked, Moggie did start singing Monty Python, so there was that at least.

"And that's it," said Illy, "so now I choose..."

"Your favorite," I said pointing at the cards, curious to see what Illy would pick.