Lucas

Lucas, being somewhat inexperienced, gets ahead of you with his bow, only to find himself in the melee of several cutthroat brigands. They slash wildly at him, and as you run in to save him, your heart sinks as you watch his character get eviscerated by the enemy. He falls to the forest floor with a dull *thud*, and the enemies turn on you.

Without the aid of your companion, you're able to kill a few, only to find yourself totally overwhelmed. Their cuts, stabs, and bludgeons eventually pierce your character's armor, and he falls down, dead in the dirt. The game pauses, and a prompt appears.

*Failure Number One: Both Player Characters Have Been Vanquished by Bandits. Please Remove Shirts*

Your friends give a combination of 'boos', laughter, and wolf-whistles as Lucas glances to you apologetically and you both strip off your shirts.

When your characters spawn back in, your knight is missing his chestplate and armguards. Lucas' archer is missing his leather jerkin.

Walter gets your attention. "Sorry to say I told you so, man. If its any consolation, I was hoping that I was wrong. The last thing any of us wants to see is you and Lucas beaten down to your bare dicks."

Lucas looks to you slightly panicked. "I don't wanna lose, man! I don't even get fully changed in the locker room!"

You pat him on the shoulder. "Don't worry, man. We've still got two lives. We're fine. Now let's kill these bandits."