Lost

“Wait up Ernak, we need an plan” Torvi called following behind him, “Plan’s simple I go in an kill them, you watch my back” “I want to help but I won’t walk into an camp and get killed my 100’s of arrows” “I’ll take out the archers and cover Torvi’s distraction. You will find the leader kill him and find Lagertha” Artemis spoke frankly joining the pair, “Simple enough” Ernak spoke somewhat unconvinced, however looking over to Logos, Logos simply stated, “We need to talk!”

“What?!” Ernak growled already frustrated by the delay, “You aren’t seriously considering walking up to the camp and fighting everyone in it?!” “What’s the matter scared?” “No but to succeed you will need either an army or an weapon that wields phenomenal power” “My sword…” Ernak commented walking forward to which Logos finished, “And me to wield it… Let me take control and I’ll rescue your damsel” “What do you mean control?” “It will feel like a long sleep but when you wake up you will be in front of Lagertha” Ernak sighed before nodding Logos muttered, “Sleep now, I’ll do the rest.”

“Time to get to work!” Logos spoke winking to Artemis who nodding in approval watched him walk up to the two guards standing at the edge of camp, “Stop Drengr” Ernak drew his knife and killing the first used the hidden blade to kill the other and marching forward aimed the glowing bow towards a group sending an explosive arrow in their direction, “It feels sooo great to be back!” Logos laughed grabbing the first spear off the weapon stack and sent it through three warriors, he grabbed the next and taking out an archer watched as the body knocked two others over. Logos drew the glowing blade and slamming it into the ground watched the shockwave of gold light send the enemies closer. Logos decapitated the first before sending out another blast from the weapon watched as the gold lines formed into bling shapes killing anyone who was near them or touched it and walking forward Logos simply looked at the remainder of the scared warriors and slammed 4 explosive arrows into the ground causing the bodies parts of these very people to now rain down over him.

He walked forward and killing the next guards barged passed the next group Knocking the oil jars over and setting the black liquid ablaze causing the small groups to scream when the flames reached them and now being made aware of an intruder the King emerged from his tent, to see the man causing the trouble remove his lieutenant’s head. His guards quickly encircled him but becoming weary of the glowing man who was in front of them but Logos not standing down simply barked horsely, “Give me my lover back.”

Logos closed his eyes and stumbling back slightly it was now Ernak who was awoken and smiling at Lagertha stated, “My beloved” she smiled back but being dragged behind the king who simply stated, “You killed many of my men it would be a shame to kill you for such a trivial thing” “It’s not trivial, it’s the woman I love” the king looked to his mother who drawing the document from its cover stated, “According to this document, she was wedded to Ragnor and he in order to establish peace between both groups accepted that he will marry this beauty and Ragnor would wed my daughter, Magnhild. You have no standing and attacking me breaks the fragile peace that we now share” “So that’s it? I have an choice to either sacrifice our happiness for peace or kill you and bring more **** upon both sides!”

Ernak grabbed his axe and raising it was met by Lagertha who breaking free stated, “Ernak, NO! It’s not worth it, don’t become a selfish monster because we can’t have happiness” “It’s not right!” “When has it ever been right; or even fair? You were picked on for no justified reason, you did everything for them, the village and they screwed your over, they failed when you asked for a favour to be returned and then, sold me off to him” “That’s why I am looking out for my own interests, for once I am putting myself first” “And this time you are wrong. We were never worth the effort we put into our relationship. We struggled every single step of the way” “And you want to throw it all way for them?” “No, for you. You are a God, we both know it; reincarnated for a reason. You need to be free from me, free from everything that holds you down, that holds you back and I need you to enjoy life” “I can’t enjoy it without you, not knowing how he is treating you!” “I won’t mistreat her; I wouldn’t even consider it. Magnhild’s safety would also depend on it, any news of mistreatment puts her at risk” Lagertha wiped a stray tear from Ernak and hugging him replied, “You will always have a special place in my heart because I love you. Remember that with him I will be content but never happy; that belongs to you and when you are feeling low just remember I want to hear some good news about you, I want to hear that you are happy, famous; no a legend. I want to hear that you got drunk and had fun or you knocked the strongest warrior out, that you are wealthy and that you became Jarl of the clan. I finally want to hear of you finding happiness with the right woman, I don’t want to hear any negativity because you don’t need or deserve it” Ernak looked down and dropping his axe stated, “We were never going to be, were we?” Lagertha nodded before explaining, “Maybe in Valhalla… no, not even then. You will be in the realm of Elysium for being what you are, brave and I maybe Valhalla” she looked down and leaving a kiss on his cheek spoke in one final line, “Don’t ever stop fighting for what’s right” she walked away and looking up to now see the king maintain his distance state, “I don’t know if what Lagertha said is true or not but if you seek blood fight with us, if you seek drink then drink but if you seek friendship I will be happy to offer it. You have shown a heart of an Drengr, a proud warrior; more than Sigurd did and if you became Jarl then I would accept it, no matter what you sought of it. Goodbye Ernak, you have given me a lot to consider about: them, what the messages are but also what I want and what I need for the kingdom” the guards stood down leaving Magnhild whose eyes swelled up in tears, almost crying for him, watched as he stared at the axe that Lagertha once gave to him and Ernak hearing the words of, “I’m sorry Ernak!” from Logos, Ernak simply muttered, “Doesn’t matter, you will have your Freyja and I nothing” he looked over to Magnhild and encouraging her to follow after him she looked back to the discarded axe and spoke, “He needs to remember that she cares” before picking it up hurriedly followed after him.

“I’m sorry Ernak” Magnhild called out to Ernak who not looking back said, “I have had enough of this place!” “Right behind you. Can… is what Lagertha said true?” “I don’t want to talk about it!” “She said you were an god reincarnated, that you hear his voices and feel his memories” “Doesn’t your brother have the same?” “That’s what interests me… he apparently saw visions but they are inconsistent in their “orders” for him” “You think he is lying for support? Did he say what God was talking to him?” “None but yet the Seer and his council listened to him, believed him” “Coins and power always talks. If you offer enough, people will agree to anything and he has lied to my people just to get Lagertha and a deal and once again I have nothing” Magnhild nodded before stating, “Similar to me. Sold off to this Ragnor… any idea what he is like?” “A foolish idiot, who will listen to anyone who has said something that seems slightly complicated he goes for it. Alright fighter, just don’t ask him to lead an army into battle. You could easily control the future Jarl and the family” “So I have to marry a spineless weasel and my reward is ruling the Clan unofficially” “Basically, my advice to you is to kill Erik before he tries and spread his poison to your advisors” “Or you could become Jarl… I know this is sudden but my brother has unofficially given you an order” “After what he has done, you expect me to listen to him!” “No but the offer is there, he will look after her; I know him. He may be going insane or just being crafty but he won’t neglect his duty to her” Ernak fell silent and returning to Torvi and Artemis who looked down disheartened that they had failed it was Artemis who spoke first, “Son, this isn’t Lagertha… well not what you described her as. What happened?” “Where’s my sister?” Torvi growled and looking down Ernak stated, “I was given a choice to either leave now and spare three clans worth of **** on our side or start an bigger war and possibly us dying before leaving the camp just for me and Lagertha to say ‘we are together’ I had ****!” “So that’s it? You are just like the rest, my sister!” and head butting her Ernak snarled back, “Shut your fucking mouth. I didn’t have the choice because Lagertha choice FOR US. I drew my axe and readied myself, Lagertha stood in his way and refused to listen. Then she thought she could make it all better with a crappy speech and orders that I shouldn’t care about any of you fucking families and enjoy life for what it is; basically told me to be the male version of Astrid whilst also butchering everyone on the battlefield because they got in my way. She betrayed me like the rest of them!” Torvi looked down and clutching her bleeding nose went to apologise, “Shut it. I have had enough of your family and Sigurd’s, you know what; screw all of you” “You don’t mean it!” Artemis responded and pointing the finger of accusations to her he snapped, “If it wasn’t for you and the others I could have been here, I could have stopped all of this!” Ernak pushed past her and pointing to the new woman snapped, “Tell Ragnor I got his bride back. I hope he finds comfort in being a weasel.”

The group watched him leave and Torvi taking it the hardest spat, “I… I didn’t… I have tried everything to make him happy” “He doesn’t mean it, it was tense there and he was fighting that argument all by himself, your sister didn’t even acknowledge his efforts” Magnhild replied before handing her a cloth to stop the bleeding stated, “He’s probably already regretting what he did but to experience what she did to him… I understand his anger. You just have to remind him of the good times they both shared” but shaking her head Torvi explained, “They never had good memories, every time they tried to have some time together they were disrupted. Hell, I feel bad thinking about it. All the times I purposely interrupted them because I was jealous of her getting his attention… should have known this would have happened” “You were just a child, you couldn’t have known” Artemis tried to comfort her granddaughter but shaking her head Torvi replied, “It doesn’t matter anymore. What’s done is done. Artemis when we get back buy the drinks; he’s going to need a lot of them.”

“Ernak, what happened?” Alfhild called out trying to get an answer from him but walking past her it was Torvi who then pushing the other woman forward simply stated, “Ragnor here’s your bride!” before storming off after Ernak it was Artemis who started to explain, “He butchered a lot of his men but was faced with an choice… he chose the Clan” Alfhild waited for her to elaborate however it was Sigurd who snapped, “Tell me now!” “Magnhild said he had the choice of taking Largetha and if they managed to escape risk a war with more life’s lost on both sides or leave Lagertha and no more fighting and he could bring Ragnor’s bride back to the clan” Artemis replied to which Ragnor not believing it fired back, “Ernak would never agree to it, Lagertha is the only thing he would fight for!” Artemis nodded before placing Lagertha’s axe on the table replied, “Lagertha never gave him the chance to choose. She stopped him from attacking and made him walk away. The betrayal… well let’s just say this is going to take a very long time, a lot of drinks and a lot of **** to calm MY Logos down.”

“Right… yeah… I… need to say something… but I don’t know what I can say to him” Sigurd struggled to formulate and looking back at the other warriors nodded to acknowledge the angry eyes glare at him. He turned back and addressing his war council stated, “Give them 25% more of the promised share!” “You can’t be serious Sigurd, that would put us back to square one!” Erik snapped, “We have to, I know the Clan and I know what they are thinking. Their eyes are glaring at us, readying to rebel against us. We need to pacify them or at least calm them down. Ernak to them is a hero for sacrificing himself for their lives; we are merely the villains. We will have to rebuild!” “All over again… it has taken us over 2 years to get to this stage and we still aren’t even close to being as stable as we’d like. Ivar can pay” Ragnor spat but being met by an headbutt from Björn he fired at the ‘future Jarl’, “We would have fought for him against that smug cunt. You cut the deal, you accepted the terms; you can pay and let this clan rot. Ernak can return with us; the village who care for him!” Sigurd pulled Ragnor back to his feet before stating, “Enough, this isn’t going to help us. We need to be united!” “Yes you need Ivars clan don’t you!” Magnhild commented already constructing the situation in her head, “I’m sorry if we aren’t giving a very positive or strong perception of our clan!” Alfhild began to spin but laughing at her pathetic attempts Magnhild simply stated, “What Artemis or Ernak hasn’t told you is my brothers offer to Ernak; who unfortunately hasn’t decided whether he is going to accept it or not” “Offer?” Sigurd huffed and smiling Magnhild replied, “A far better offer… be named Jarl by your council or kill Sigurd, Ragnor and Erik and install himself as Jarl and rule alongside me; doesn’t even have to be married to me and my brother would accept the partnership more willingly than he currently is. I for one support Ernak over Ragnor!” Ragnor growled and storming out the room headed to the tavern with the family looking at him concerned immediately followed suit.

Sigurd pulled Ragnor’s arm to stop his progress and growling at his father it was Sigurd who said, “Let’s see what he has to say first before getting angry about it!” “Fine!” Ragnor spat still seething from what he had heard. They checked the tavern but finding he had only came in to buy some ale; Helga explained that he ignored their pleas to sit down and drink somewhere both warm and safe. They checked the stables but realising they were all still there checked to house to also see he wasn’t there. Twenty minutes later they found him sat on the edge of the dock drinking his next bottle of ale. “Ernak. What is this news about you becoming Jarl!” Ragnor growled and pushing Ragnor back Sigurd replied, “They really are right about you. A selfish prick who should have been drowned as a child. Can’t you see he is going through shock!” “It’s important!” “For you not the clan as a whole. Go for a walk and start thinking about the clan needs over your own and without Erik. THIS IS AN ORDER!” Ragnor groaned but walking away Sigurd slumped down next to the upset man, “I… Ernak… look… shit. I’m sorry! I can’t even begin to understand what you are feeling or thinking. We have continued to let you down endlessly” Ernak didn’t respond but staring out at the sea Sigurd shivered trying to get some words out of his son, “Aren’t you cold?” he shook his head so touching Ernak’s head realised he really wasn’t cold, “God power?” Ernak nodded as Sigurd once again tried to get a conversation as he asked about going somewhere more comfortable to drink before forcibly dragging him back to the house by the aid of some men left endless bottles on the table for him Alfhild snapped, “Really… drinking is the best you can do?” “WHAT. DO. YOU. EXPECT. ME. TO. DO. WOMAN?!” he fired back and punching him she snapped, “Stand there and taking the beating we all deserve. We caused this; him drinking himself to Hel is not the solution!” “Then what is? Because I got no suggestions other than going to war and get wiped out by either Forde’s army or by the Norwegians!” “Clueless all of you!” Artemis spat pushing Alfhild over, “And you. A bad mother! You choose Ernak to be your son right? Then you should have treated him better than the one you birthed. Ernak” Ernak looked to Artemis who sitting next to him hugged the man as she said, “Not many people ever did understand you” he held onto her as she said, “However, we never let that stop us from being who we are. We need you and by extension the clan. Can you help us defeat the Norwegian’s whilst I work on a solution for the current issue?” he nodded and helping him up Artemis stated calmly as she placed her hand on his head. “You have that anger in your body caged up and ready to be unleashed on something. Take this emotion out on the enemy!” she pulled out Lgertha’s axe offering it out said, “Do it for her!” he looked down and hitting it out of her hand she looked down as she muttered, “I will not let you down son!” Alfhild stared at axe and finally understanding the severity of it cried out in disbelief, “He has never done that to anything of hers ever” and Artemis nodding said, “This is what you did. If you excuse me I have to start planning!”

Three weeks later:

“Brother. Are you ready?” the Jarl nodded looking at the band of warriors who joined the cause equally hostile to the last person who stood there, “Is that all?” he asked Sigurd who nodding was met with, “Your son couldn’t even be bothered to fight; not showing much respect to our deal!” “That’s because you got Ernak. Don’t need Ragnor when Ernak’s is butchering all of them” the Jarl glared over to Ernak, who applying the war paint created from a mixture involving bear blood said, “It’s nice to see you join us. I know it must be hard!” Ernak didn’t respond and instead focusing on the paint and only stopped when Forde yelled, “I’m your king damn it. Respect my position!” Ernak turned around and walking towards him it was only Ivar and Sigurd pulling him back that stopped Ernak from flooring the king who backed away was stopped by his mother who scorned him with, “What did I tell you about antagonising people?!” “Mother I…” she pushed past him and pushing back to his seat walked up to Ernak and trying the diplomacy of, “I’m sorry for his actions” and “My condolences on losing Lagertha” he simply leaned in and whispering something to her, her eyes widened as she backed away and returned to her son’s side, “What did you say?” He yelled but not wanting him to worry she ushered his focus on the Norwegians and her to say, “I will find a way to compensate you!” “This again I…” Forde responded storming up to him but feeling a punch that floored him to his own men laughter he was pushed back by his mother who reassuring him it was for the best nodded, regaining his seat, “Just make it up in the war” Ernak smirked knowing he would be likely carrying the “Kings” army however Lagertha putting her hand on her new husbands arm which earned Ernak to look down to check his arrows heard, “Trust me he is better than majority of the men here put together. He will butcher more than you could ever count” Forde looked at Ernak who replying to no one in Forde’s eyes heard, “Why should I? They don’t deserve to see my expression” after a few moments he replied, “I don’t care if it’s a sign of weakness. If they question it I will bury them!” Forde looked over to Sigurd who going to explain Torvi interrupted with, “Hang on. He is patches of this arguments!” she grabbed a plate and smacking him on his head Ernak stopped and regaining composure refused to speak but instead glared at Lagertha who in her own reaction cowered. Torvi noticed this soo pulling Ernak away stared at her own sister and spat to the floor. “Maybe you could use this time to talk things out and explain some things?” Sigurd asked. Forde looked over to Lagertha and nodding said, “Go. It’s unfair to leave it like this. Torvi go with them. My men will ensure you get peace” “We will as neutral parties!” Björn pointed to Ivar and agreeing Lagertha sheepishly got up to lead the two into the separate room.

Ernak stood there not looking at Lagertha who moving the nearest candle to the table where Torvi sat she immediately asked, “Are you okay Ernak. There in the last room?” he nodded looking down to which Torvi explaining it more in depth said, “He is still finding his balance and learning more about himself. What? Forde has it all “mapped out” who he is, what his history is and what he needs to do?” “Don’t mention Forde. He is irrelevant” “I wasn’t doing it on purpose… but he claims to be a god if he had a trick to help stop what happened in the room then by all means tell us!” Lagertha sighed understanding her sister’s worry but looking up to pay attention to Lagertha’s previous comment Ernak replied, “Why not? It is about him. Me. You and everyone else who is involved” Lagertha sighed before explaining once again, “I did this for the people’s safety. I don’t want to be with him anymore then you want to be alone but I must. We promised to not be selfish because then we would be as bad as people like Erik, Ragnor and Astrid” “It doesn’t change the fact that you hurt him!” Torvi retaliated and nodding Lagertha wept, “I know and I hate myself for doing it. Whether it brings peace or not I hurt you, my love. Something I will never forgive myself for!” there was a pause before breaking it Lagertha asked, “What has Sigurd and the clan said about it? Done?” “Nothing. It’s kind of hard to make up for it when Ernak only wants one thing!” “Surely there is something Ernak. A house, ship… a room full of redheads, you always said you wish I was!” he shook his head and head dropping Lagertha muttered, “So Forde’s scouts were right. You just drink in the tavern now?” he nodded to which Lagertha replied, “I’m surprised Alfhild hasn’t tried to stop that. It hurts her to see you; her favourite son depressed.”

“She is too worried on fixing Ragnor’s foolish decisions for the Clan. It never stops!” Torvi explained which Lagertha growled back, “Ernak should be Jarl. After what he has lost for their safety… they owe him that!” “They have decreed he will never become Jarl, even lost his claim to it!” Lagertha grabbed her cup and storming to the door yelled, “Why? I am going to sort this out! Those…” “Because if I was Jarl we would be at war with each other right now. That’s why!” Ernak lashed out, Lagertha’s hand fell from the handle and looking back heard the man expand, “I would sacrifice every single person to get to you. Kill more myself to get to you. Whether I had to poison them, burn them, slaughter them on a battlefield I would have! That’s why. It just makes their foolish attempts at “Compensation” harder. Since you don’t care about anything but “the clan” it would have been pointless for me!” Lagertha eyes grew wide and attempting to touch his arm to get his attention her hand fell to her side when he said, “I’m looking to become Logos permanently. Give up my human thoughts and feelings and to let Logos live” “But Logos doesn’t want that Ernak. You know that. He feels your broken heart and wants to help fix it, not take over it!” “No. I don’t care. Nothing will fix this; so why fight it?”

Lagertha sat opposite him holding his shaking hands to calm him but stopping glared over to Torvi when she spat, “Your husband is a liar, cheat and general piece of shit. Not even a god; if he was then you wouldn’t interest him. He would have his own life, own love!” “Torvi… he has treated me well, better than I thought. He cares for Ernak as well; he feels just as bad doing what he has done but duty to the clan comes first. If he didn’t care he wouldn’t have let us talked because he knows if Ernak is upset; I’m upset. Just hearing of what has happened distresses me!” she expected a reply but receiving none; she realised that it hadn’t helped anything in fact it did the opposite; at least if he had been treating her poorly, Ernak would have a valid reason to hate him.

They sat there awkwardly waiting for the other person to speak but feeling nothing was coming Lagertha changed the subject to, “So let’s talk about your family. I heard you found your mother! I would have liked to meet them” “Yes Artemis… she is finding it hard to realise that I’m not the exact version of her son but share common tendencies with him. It was her who told me to come and fight whilst she “planned for you.” She believed I could get my anger out in the war” “She is probably right Ernak, your anger has been all over the place” Torvi reiterated but trying to ignore this comment and carry on with her more pleasant conversation Lagertha asked, “None of the others, I heard they would love this. Must be training for them?!” Ernak glared at her and shaking his head Ernak spat, “I won’t let any of my family’s blood be split for the clans. The only reason I am here is because of you and the fact I am deemed not important enough to keep back.” Lagertha’s head dipped but acknowledging the caution she then asked, “What are they like?” “Aphrodite is Astrid with standards and demands more respect from her lovers. Melanie, who is Athena is smart, really smart but with that comes snobbishness and looking down at humans. Nyx is soft, calm and genuinely a nice person; she has accepted the concept of it being her in a humans body and mind and therefore must share it. She is also a lot more open in discussing issues where you may not understand. Hard to tell with Morrigan because she is still going through her transition like me. Mother; Artemis is strong willed, determined, warm and caring to me; she is determined to make it up to me, not being there/aware when I was alive.”

Lagertha smiled before picturing it said, “Definitely would have liked to meet them. I wish we could just stay here talking… until I could find a way to not mess it up. I feel soo much less stressed currently” Ernak glared at her before spitting back, “Stress? That is what your husband is for. To relieve your stress. Whilst I scurry alone in this world” “Ernak… I’m sorry I didn’t mean it like that. I’m…” “So you have…?” Torvi queried and blushing Lagertha stuttered, “It is expected… children to secure the throne. I… Ernak” Ernak looked down and slamming his fist on the table, Ernak growled, “Knew it. Didn’t even wait. How long was it? A week? A few days?” “Ernak…” “No never mind. This was just a waste” he yelled slamming his fist once more on the table, “Ernak! Please we have some nice women here, maybe we could find you one; better than me... I wouldn’t say it unless I thought it. Caring, sensitive, smart even stubborn like you. Maybe if I bring them over I could…” she stopped seeing his anger and shaking his head he snapped, “I can’t believe you of all people would think that’s something I would approve of. GOODBYE LAGERTHA!” he stormed away and seeing how her axe wasn’t even sheathed where it usually was and now there was a quiver with more arrows stored in it Lagertha’s head dipped as she wept, “Even the smallest part of me hurts him!”

Torvi put her head in her hands and groaning snapped, “What an idiot!” “I’m trying Torvi, I really am but I am stuck between duty to those who could die if I don’t fulfil my duty and my heart who wants to run out and kiss him; tell him to leave with me!” Torvi looked back to make sure Ernak wasn’t near replied, “I understand even though he would sacrifice everyone for you I understand. It’s just to maintain this peace that everyone sort for the clans, you have broken the only person whoever cared for you and saw you as a woman; not a tool. He was the only one who looked out for your own interests” Lagertha looked down trying to stutter a response out but looking up to see Torvi not give her the chance to feel any worse for herself said, “I… know. I owe him more than he thinks” “Goodbye sister; one of us has to pick him back up and repair the damage” Lagertha nodded before grabbing her arm pleaded, “Just… look after him please. He deserve’s better than all this!” and nodding Torvi replied, “I will but like a **** victim he will keep coming back for more hoping it will one day change!”

Torvi took her leave and putting her head in her hands Lagertha wept not hearing Forde’s mother come in to check up on her. So hurriedly rushing up to comfort her Lagertha wept, “I messed everything up; I… I wish” “Sssh. It’s okay; let it out!” Lagertha’s head buried into the woman’s chest and crying harder Lagertha heard, “Just answer me this… why is he taking it soo hard?”

It took ten minutes to calm Lagertha down enough for her to speak in some sense of order and sitting up, she tried to dry the tears before explaining, “He came to the Clan an orphan, left in the forest to die. It was Alfhild who took pity on the baby crying in the cold. Sigurd didn’t want him but she demanded something be done. He was bullied, insulted and beaten as a child because of his appearance; even by his older brother, Ragnor who did this to be “cool.” He had nothing except Alfhild looking out for him but of course she gets involved and it just makes it worse. Ernak… doesn’t handle emotions too well, maybe the gods made him like that for a reason; I don’t know. He would get angry and lash out; sometimes hurting them more than they hurt him.”

“This continued until we came to the Clan. He saw me and it was the first thing he liked truly and wanted to at least talk to me; you know how boys are when they are crushing” “Problem is he didn’t know how to put it into words?” she asked and nodding Lagertha explained, “The other boys knew this and heckled him for it. He fought more fights then I think even Sigurd could count but he wouldn’t say why to him.” “How did you find out?” she asked, “One day. Three guys were apparently bragging about being in line to potentially marry me and they were going to basically use me as a “tool” for sex and as a way to brag about having the “prettiest woman in the land” as their wife. Ernak heard this and attacked all three; did pretty well until all three attacked him together. I walked past not knowing and heard the words from Ernak, “You won’t touch her!” at this time he and Torvi were friends, so I thought they had said something about her. I demanded answers and for them to stop picking on him; I told Ernak that if there is any issues around my sister then to let my father handle it… the group laughed and made him confess the truth. There in the mud I heard him confess the words, “I’m fighting them for YOU. I love you and will fight anyone who says otherwise” I was in shock and the village just laughed. He ran away blooded and dirty expecting me to laugh as well.”

“What happened?” she replied, “I found the blooded man and helped clean the wounds. I think he was expecting me to let him down gently or explaining I was intended to be with someone else. Despite knowing what my father and the villagers would say I simply asked, “So when are we meeting up?” He was shocked and thought maybe it was me being sympathetic but I was serious; he was the only one to show any interest in me as a woman, not a tool” “Where did you meet?” Lagertha smiled warmly remembering the memory, “The stables. It was his sanctuary and his job… as much as people hated him they respected his knowledge with horses and despite doing what they did, he always gave them a good price; it also meant some of those who originally hated them respected him; especially the blacksmith who was one of the worst but soon stopped when clients would go up to them and said Ernak recommended him to make new horseshoes. He made money and later came to Ernak’s aid because believe it or not… Ernak is actually a nice guy when you get to know him.” “The stables Lagertha…” “Yes… we met in the stables and I would spend a lot of time hearing him talk to them even saw him soothe a mare whilst she was giving birth. The horses really were his pride and joy. Our first meet up literally had him carry me over the horse shit and to an area he had gone out of his way to clear and apologise to the horses for clearing. I didn’t care and walked across whatever the stuff was under my feet and thanked him but said I was not “fragile.” We spent ages talking and I found out more about him. He knew sometimes when I was taken back by his manner and would apologise; but I got used to it pretty quickly. After the chat he thanked me for taking sympathy on him and that I didn’t have to on his part. I told him immediately that we were meeting up again the next night and I don’t care what people think.”

“*Laugh* must have been a shock to him” “We went on a date everyday that week and everyday he was more shocked that I returned. He was soo calm with me and if he did get angry I would say the right thing in his ear or tug his arm and he relaxed. We trained together, hunted together and he helped me with chores. It was sweet and for three years we spent time together, I even went to Sigurd’s horse with Torvi to eat a lot of the time; my father hated him because of who he was and therefore we avoided my house” “Sweet!” Lagertha nodded before turning angry Lagertha spat, “Then it turns bitter. To everyone it was obvious that we were in love and intended to be together. Ernak bent over backwards for together engaged; my father set him a dowry goal to pay HIM as a way to prove he could look after me and in exchange Erik would pay double in the dowry to him. Ernak didn’t care and agreed and even agreed on the deadline. All this was doing was allowing Erik to negotiate a marriage with Sigurd between me and Ragnor. We didn’t know and were excited about it; I asked about him going to Sigurd asking for the rest but he was insistent that he has to do this. “I have had everything given me by Sigurd and Alfhild all my life, this is something I must do for myself; if I can’t pay this now then I could look after you when we are married” in hindsight I should have gone to Alfhild and talked about it because Erik had no intentions of fulfilling it. A day before the deadline expired it was arranged and Alfhild only finding out about our arrangement didn’t have any time to fix or rearrange it” “Ouch” Lagertha snarled as she continued, “Ernak found out after they did the dirty to him. Sent him to find Ragnors whore of a daughter and he came back to find out about it.” “Ernak’s anger?” “Came out in stress and sadness. Demanded Holmgang against Ragnor and Erik at the same time. Alfhild at the time still caring about both eased calmness and said they can settle this peacefully. Told him to go on the raid she will handle it; and being the only mother he ever knew he listened.”

“Betrayed him did she?” “Yes and no. He vowed to leave if it wasn’t fixed when he came back and Alfhild really did fight his corner. She argued his case tirelessly but was outvoted by Sigurd and Ragnor; it was then when she realised her mistake; that Ernak meant nothing to Sigurd or so she thought. Ernak came back a hero from the last raid but his only concern was me. When he found out, left with Ivar’s clan and shortly afterwards the lands entirely. He didn’t know the full story” “Full story?” “Alfhild separated from Sigurd and only stays with him for formal arrangements. She disowned Ragnor and tried to poison him because even she will admit that he was a spoilt piece of shit; she only stopped the plotting when it dawned on her that I could have drank it instead. She tried endlessly to get at Ragnor though who in turned hated Ernak more for “turning her against him.” “She really did care?” “And Sigurd did to. He would and will spend everything he owned to fix it. He was tough on Ernak because he was going to need it because of his appearance. Sigurd always did respect Ernak more than he let on and was happy when the Clan eventually let him in and treated him as one of their own; there was even calls for him to be Jarl. He still hurts losing Ernak and Alfhild and despite the delicate conversations between Alfhild and him and Ernak’s return he still feels empty knowing it’s not right.”

“I assume he is still upset from doing it again?” Lagertha nodded before saying, “Once is bad enough but to then sell me off to Forde; to do it twice like I’m cattle is enough to send Ernak into your camp, kill how many of your men and want to fight everyone to get me back…” Brynhild’s head dropped as she asked, “He won’t move on because you could treat like shit for the rest of your life and he still loves you” “I was his only piece of happiness and he clings to it because it’s all he has. Finding out Forde treats me well and we had relations to have children to secure the clans position…” “Hurts because you sound everyone else and it’s you” “Lagertha nodded before returning to weeping cried, “He can’t even look at me again without thinking traitor. I tried suggesting everything even multiple women and a room full of redheads; his fetish. Instead I am stuck here; doing the right thing but miserable and knowing he is wounded in every aspect and this time I can’t pick him up and dust himself off.” “He is lashing out because he doesn’t know how to react” “Not just that. Why should he care? My axe, something I gave to him when we first started courting… he doesn’t even have that on him. It meant a great deal to him but now it’s just a painful memory. I want to make things right but I can’t. They won’t even make him Jarl over his paranoid brother because he said he would be at war with us right now if he was. He just drinks… I… he deserves better and it’s all my fault!” “Ssshh no it’s not. Come let’s get a drink and then think of a solution. There has to be; I’ll tell my guards to give him a wide berth and to give him drinks. Full at least that will calm him down!”