Looking For Louise

The sweet smell of good food cooking wakes me up and I realize that I am in someone else's bed. I am still a little groggy so I look around to gather my bearings. When I look at myself, I not only realize that I am naked, but I also see that there is a little bit of dried blood in between my legs. The sight of the blood makes me realize there is a bit of pain inside my vagina. The evidence suggests that I had sex with someone and gave up my virginity. This confuses me because I am a lesbian which means that I do not sleep with guys. I tried to date of couple of boys in high school, but I got a sick feeling in my stomach each time. I have finally figured out what happened. I slept with a woman that I barely knew who was wearing a strap on which I had never done in my life. I normally would be appalled by my lack of judgment, but I am not this time because I have just now noticed the burning pain inside my heart. I now try to figure out what is wrong inside my heart. Oh, no! Not Kat! My best friend is dead and I was the one who found her body. The last piece of the puzzle falls into place. I did not have sex with Noor for romance, but I did it just so I could stop crying for a few hours. I slowly sit up in bed and a tear comes out of my eye. This is immediately followed by a hand patting my left shoulder.

"Did the medicine wear off?" Noor asks me with sad eyes.

"Yeah," I sigh.

"I'm sorry," Noor apologizes. "Do you want another treatment?"

"I'm just going to have to learn how to deal with this," I complain.

"That would be best," Noor agrees.

"I'm still a little sore anyway," I confess. "I still want to thank you for helping me out last night. If I hadn't been with you when my tears hit, I might have wound up getting hammered in some seedy bar."

"It's a pleasure to help out a woman as beautiful as you," my former sex partner compliments me.

"Are you a lesbian like me?" I question out of curiosity.

"I love everybody if you get my drift," Noor replies with a wicked grin.

"I think I do," I answer with wide open eyes.

"I washed your clothes for you," Noor tells me. "You can use my shower if you want. Breakfast should be ready by the time you're done."

"Thanks," I acknowledge as I walk into the bathroom while wiping away a single tear from my face.

All I can think about while I am getting cleaned off is Kat which causes two more tears to fall off my face. I realize that it is not going to be good for me to try temporary fixes like I did last night. I am just going to have nature take it's course. One thing that might help me to heal would be for me to look up some of my old friends back from my City Of Love days. But which friend should I go see? I only have time for one since I have to save Paris again. I think about what I need as I wash the dried blood from my legs. Most friends would drop everything and pick you up off the floor when they see you going through a tragedy like the one I am going through. That is not what I need. What I do need is a tough friend who keeps kicking you until you get off the floor yourself. It would be best if I visit the toughest friend that I've got. It has been much too long since I have seen that spitfire Louise anyway. A very unfriendly voice residing inside my mind tells me that Kat's is my fault while I am washing my hair which of course makes me cry again.

I certainly don't have a very positive outlook of life as I put on the same clothes that I wore yesterday. At least Noor washed them for me. One thing that does improve my outlook is the large stacks of pancakes that my friend cooked for breakfast. I should say that she cooked them for brunch since it is already 10:30. As soon as my gal pal puts my stack of pancakes in front of me, I wolf them down quickly. I guess it takes energy to rebuild your life from the ground up. After brunch, I give Noor a grateful hug and call for the cab.

While waiting for the cab on the sidewalk, a disturbing thought enters my mind. It was hard enough to defeat Vincent when I was wearing a fully intact suit of armor. How am I supposed to solve this new mystery when my suit of armor has a large slash right over my heart? How am I supposed to think straight when my eyes are sometimes covered with tears? How am supposed to fight with my psyche in the shape that it is in? I comfort myself with the thought of how much fun it will be to Kat's murderer.

The cab ride I take towards my old stomping grounds was largely uneventful. I unfortunately have a friendly cab driver and I am in no mood to talk back. He gets the message when I shoot him a cold leer. When I arrive at City Of Love's main office, I look at my watch and see that the time is now 11:30. I pay my fare and I try to decide what to do until lunch. The pancakes I ate are still weighing heavily on my stomach so I don't want anything to eat now. I head to a nearby park and I buy a large cup of coffee from a vendor. I sit on a remote bench where I can be as alone as I would like to be at the moment. I also wonder if Louise will take the time to see me since I know how busy she often is. I hope that she will because I sure could use some tough love right now. I think that maybe some alone time will help me to collect my thoughts.

It does not work. After my third gulp of coffee, I quickly set my cup on the ground because I see a redhead with glasses walking on the other side of the park who looks a lot like Kat did before she adopted her tougher image. I wonder if my friend would still be alive if she had stayed the way she was. I watch the woman with my mouth hanging for a minute while wondering if I am completely losing my mind. This incident shoves another knife into my heart so I rest my head on the back of the park bench and start sobbing again. Once again, I think I can almost see a ghostly version of Kat crying with me. After a minute of crying, a hand lands on my shoulder. What is weird about this hand is that even though it is feminine, it is still quite strong. There is only one person that I know with a hand like that. I have found my tough friend. I have found Louise. She says something that makes me stand up and grab her in a hug.

"I'm sorry about Kat."