Look at the TV some more

Sophie: "I think I'll channel hop for a bit more. Need to get my bearings for how to dress and behave in public. Good thing I've already got the bod to compete with any pornstar, so I won't draw much suspicion no matter what I do."

You check Toon Disney, Cartoon Network and Nickelodeon. They're all broadcasting adult's cartoons. Playhouse Disney is rebranded as Playboy Disney. You suppose that somehow, children don't even exist in this world - it's probably for the best.

Sophie: "That's good to keep in mind. I have to assume that it affects language. I don't wanna go around calling anybody 'childish' now, they might think I'm a loon."

You look at MTV, which to your delight has actually began to broadcast music videos again. These are much better than just regular porn, you find. There's a certain air of extravagance and plot elements that regular-ass porn would skimp out on. You watch an almost six-minute techno video where a woman is like at a factory, there's a conveyor belt ahead of her bringing her men who are tied from their wrists, and she fucks each of them for exactly 20 seconds until the conveyor moves them out of reach. All the time, she's looking somehow wistful and unfulfilled.

Sophie: "Okay, so people aren't complete bimbos. People can conceptualize a different kind of life where not everything revolves around sex. Maybe sex is thought of the same way here as money is thought of in real life? I dunno."

You then think to switch to the History channel to see if you can piece together some of the revamped history that you've created. All they're talking about is how aliens came to Earth and fucked ancient people, though. As proof, they're showing cave paintings depicting ancient pagan priests having sex in their weirdo animal masks and claiming them to be aliens.

There seems to be a whole network devoted to furry content. The FurAffliction channel is running Feisty Furs Floodgate Fuckfest Fapboree IX, directed by Alan Anal. The Alan Anal? The guy who was a famous superhero movie director in the previous world, now directing hardcore gay furry porn? Well at least he's apparently still famous - this movie series seems almost as prominent as Marvel would've been.

Sophie: "Alright, I've seen enough. Time to face the world, and learn the language of love in the school of hard knocks."

Just on that note, the mail arrives. You know just what to do: hastily you undress and then drape yourself in a loose see-through bathrobe, which you now seem to have a whole dresser full of. You open the front door.

Sophie: "Hi there..."

The mailman looks like Clark Kent to a tee. Meek and bespectacled, but a well-stocked meatlocker under that uniform. His crotch is in danger of tearing at the seams just from seeing you.

Mailman: "H-hello, ma'am! Lovely day we're having today?"

Sophie: "Any packages for me today?"

You cutely flutter your eyelids at him.

Mailman: "Uh well, hold on ma'am, I'll just check my pockets..."

The man stuffs his hand down his pants, trying to straighten out his raging erection. Just then you lean over to pick up the mail from the floor, and your bathrobe comes untied and droops onto the floor. The mailman's pants practically explode.

In 20 seconds time, he's railing you on the couch. After about three minutes, he creampies you and falls flat on the floor. Pheh. What a weakling. You could take fifty of him in a row. No aftercare either.

The sex felt good. It really felt good, but something seems amiss. Feels as though in this pornographic world of yours, the sex itself is, ironically, unfulfilling. It feels so customary and predictable! There's no story, no plot - it was just a series of gratuitous shots of meat slapping on meat from different angles.

Now it dawns on you: getting sex in this world is laughably easy, but finding a worthwhile partner takes time and effort.