Lois Griffin

The program selected a picture of Lois Griffin from the folder, accepting the match and playing a short video. It started with Peter Griffin sitting at a computer and shouting something to his wife before static covered the screen. When it cleared, it showed a shadowy figure sitting alone in a chair.

"Hello there. You must be wondering why you are seeing this. It is simple. You are tasked with the ELIMINATION of one Lois Griffin." The figure started, pulling up a few pictures of the woman on screen. "I do not care how you do it but just do it. Now I know what you're thinking. 'This is a dating app, not some **** for hire app' and you're right. Half right." More panels showed up of other people, men and women from around the world.

"You see, I have been researching this 'Cupid Wish' service and have noted that at a 75% rating, the subject vanishes. Never to be heard from again or very rarely. Now I don't honestly care what you've done to these people, only that you do the same to Lois Griffin. You see, my own attempts at removing her have been..., mishandled. As such I've decided to outsource this task to someone else and IF there's some oddity around this service, perhaps it can punch through the seemingly cosmic protection that damnable woman has around her."

The figure waved and brought up a window that played the video from before. "Oh do not worry your little head about how this happened. I will simply make it seem as if Peter Griffin, the stupid fat man himself, mistakenly signed her up for some service he didn't understand. Happens often. Last week she got a tub of go-gert over some thing Peter did. And this video shall never see the light of day past this. So I hope you understand what is..."

A door opened up behind the figure, shining light into the room with a woman silhouetted against said light. "STEWIE! What are you doing sitting in the dark? You'll stunt your eyes you know!" Came the voice.

The figure, shown to be a toddler, cursed and covered his face. "WOMAN I told you to knock before! No no, cut the video, I said CUT!" and the static returned, covering the entire window.

The remaining video, as the toddler said, was about Peter Griffin signing up his wife for this service. It seemed he was under the impression it was for some sort of actual heart match. Well this program doesn't truly understand the difference.