Living in the "Real World"

The three men and woman walked up to the door and knocked.

“What’s this guy’s name again?” the woman asked.

“Jason,” the leader said, “Jason Muller.”

“How old is he?” The woman asked.

“Twenty-six,” the leader noted.

“A kid,” the bruiser of the four noted, “What does this kid do?”

“He works in the soft ware department of the climate control fabrication plant down the street from the incident,” the leader said.

“A nerd,” the bruiser noted.

“Yeah well the nerds have taken over, everything is electronic now a days,” the woman noted.

“I know,” the bruiser noted, “My niece insists on hijacking my car’s electronics until I let her borrow it to go out with her friends.”

“Hello?” the door opened.

It was the young man from the file photo.

“Mister Jason Muller?” the leader asked, “I am agent Hoggin from the FBI, we would like to ask you a few questions.”

“This is about why I have the afternoon off, right?” Jason asked.

“Yes mister Muller,” the woman said.

“Hay Jason, where are the clean towels?” a woman’s voice came from inside.

“We are going to need to have a word with your friend too,” the woman said.

*

“Well everything checks out,” the leader said as he closed the door to the sedan, “Even cross examination with the girl…”

“Can we address the elephant in the room?” the bruiser asked, “Were they not getting… intimate before we showed up?”

“Yes, they were fucking like rabbits in a field of Spanish Fly,” the woman said.

Everyone chuckled.

“I think we can all agree there was one lie they were both telling us,” The third man noted, “That wasn’t a dating app that got those two in contact.”

“Sure it was, Bootycall-o’clock is a dating app according to the Transworld App store,” the woman giggled.

“Well there is no evidence of prostitution and consenting adults…” the Leader noted, “Besides, he is making enough now that he doesn’t mind that his ex-roommates moved out and this isn’t that bad of a neighborhood… What did you notice in the fridge?”

“He had made a dinner plate for work tonight from the looks of it,” The third man replied, “He was really expecting to go to work this evening.”

“Anything on his finances?” The woman asked.

“Not really,” the third man shrugged, “Like he said, his depts are college and his car. With his pay, and assuming he doesn’t have any major problems he could buy his own house in a few years.”

“So this is just a standard nothing burger,” the bruiser groaned.

“Yep, lets check this kid off the list and move on to the next name,” the leader said as he started the car.

*

Jason sat on the couch and Mary took a seat on his lap. Her raid hair still smelled like sweet perfume despite all the sweating that they had been doing.

“Honestly, I am insulted… Me? A hooker?” Mary sneered.

“I don’t think they thought that low of you,” Jason snickered, “Rather, that was the only reason they could come up with a babe like you fucking me.”

“Don’t sell yourself short cutie,” Mary kissed Jason on the cheek, “I have been here for, what? Two hours? And you have made me squirt three times already.”

“Yeah, that’s not normal for me,” Jason said, “I think you have an un-natural effect on me.”

“What?” Mary asked.

“Well, you said, you are made perfect for me…” Jason said.

“Yes,” Mary kissed Jason again.

“Well, maybe you have a pheromone thing going on…” Jason said.

“Pheromones?” Mary giggled.

“I don’t know,” Jason said, “I need something to drink and something to eat.”

“Oh?” Mary arched an eyebrow.

“What,” Jason asked, “What sexy idea is forming in your head?”

“Actually, I wanted to order burgers delivered…” Mary smiled, “I want to be able to actually enjoy one on my own for the first time.”

“Burgers?” Jason asked with real confusion.

“Yeah,” Mary said, “Look, I delt with two New Yorkers for years and they would talk about various foods from home, and yet all they would cook was pasta and pizzas.”

“That actually makes sense…” Jason admitted thinking back to the show.

“I know we were in a cartoon show, but seriously?” Mary rolled her eyes.

Jason smiled at how cute it made her look.

“So what is your plan your majesty?” Jason asked.

“Can I borrow your phone?” Mary asked.

“Ok,” Jason looked around for where he left it, “Ah, there on the table…”

Mary went over an picked up the phone, she had it unlocked in a second and then in a flash, she was wearing the boots, jeans and Action **** jockey jersey outfit. Out of her back pocket she pulled a long wallet that looked like an old 8-bit rendering of the Green Warp Pipes from the video games. That caused Jason to arch an eyebrow.

“What, don’t tell me you don’t like me being a bit of a tomboy and a retro-gamer,” Mary grinned.

“Actually, I like you better like that,” Jason admitted.

“And you certainly enjoy it when I act all womanly with you…” Mary said as she pulled out a credit card.

“Especially in bed,” Jason added.

“Well,” Mary said, “I am a perfect companion for you in all aspects… And that means I can pay for things too… Hello, can I place an order for takeout?”