Life with Halfdan

And so Halfdan, the carnival kraken, who was really some kind of omnipotent cosmic tentacle monster, like Cthulhu but much hornier, decided to stay in the small American town of Pinkwhistle forever. Or at least until he got bored, in a thousand years or so.

Pinkwhistle, as you know by now, has a lot of extremely beautiful women living in it. And the women of Pinkwhistle didn't like having Halfdan around. Not one bit! Because for Halfdan, all the beautiful women in the universe were toys. He liked playing with his toys, and teasing them, and squeezing them, and taking off their clothes, and playing elaborate psychological pranks on them, and listening to all the cute frustrated noises they made.

And he could reach through space and time to get the women anywhere. They were never safe from his tentacles, no matter where they were or what they were doing. Reading in bed, showering, sitting in class, playing video games... it didn't matter. All of a sudden, slimy gooey tentacles would pop out of the air around them, and do whatever Halfdan felt like doing. Sometimes the tentacles were pink, and sometimes they were green, and sometimes they were even invisible.

Also, Halfdan was psychic. He could read the girls' minds, and he knew exactly what to do to embarrass and humiliate them as much as possible. And they never got used to it. They always felt exactly as embarrassed and humiliated and frustrated as they felt the very first time Halfdan pranked them. And Halfdan could even control time itself, so he could trap all of Pinkwhistle in a time bubble for a thousand years and make the girls relive the same humiliating episodes over and over again, if he felt like it.

This might all seem a little overpowered. And that's true. Halfdan was very overpowered. It was a source of extreme frustration to the women of Pinkwhistle, including Bonnie and Susie and Mayor Peggy Jackson, just how overpowered Halfdan was. Because they tried everything to get rid of him, and sometimes they even thought they had succeeded. But Halfdan would always come back, and then he would tease them for thinking they could ever defeat him, and then he would strip them all naked and make them stand in the middle of town singing songs about how silly they all were.

The boys loved every moment of it, of course.