Let it ride! (END)

Texas buttoned her lip. She wanted to see where this was going, and maybe if she was careful the Fake might mess themselves up. After all, it was hard enough holding all this weight, the added pressure of flirting with Jacks might cause the dimwitted doppelganger to slip up.

“Since you’re bein’ so sweet,” The Fake said, “I’m gettin awful sweaty. Pretty little thing like you got a handkerchief you can help wipe my brow with?”

Jacks giggled, “Oh but of course!”

And she produced a small pink lace handkerchief that she dappled across the Faker’s bushy brows. It was a bit sweaty and furry for the wear, but nothing too beyond repair. At least until the Faker asked–

“And can ya git my pits too?”

“Er, sure?” Jacks cringed, “Nobody said anything about, ugh…”

Jacks rubbed her poor, poor handkerchief up into the fake Texas’s sopping wet armpits. Every wipe and rub made a nauseating squelch and the feeling must’ve been even worse than the sound because Jacks had her tongue out the entire time. It was oddly cathartic for Texas as she watched Jacks pull out the now ruined, sweat and pit-hair covered handkerchief and let out a disgusted whimper. Unfortunately for Texas, Jacks saw her smirking. A nasty grin of her own crossed Jack’s face as she said:

“Oh and how about you, Sheriff? You need your brow wiped?”

“W-wait now, hold on I–”

Jacks smushed the filthy rag into Texas’s face, wiping up and down and all around, smearing the rancid sour cream and onion stench of her opponent’s armpit into her poor complexion. By the time Jacks finished there was more sweat on Texas’s face than when she started (And most of it wasn’t hers!). Jacks pulled away and walked off, leaving Texas nauseated beyond all belief.

“Good luck girls,” she said, “Call me if you need another rub down!”

Jacks casually tossed the ruined rag over her shoulder and Texas, who had been trying her best to hold her breath, opened her mouth to take a big gasp of air at the worst possible time. With better accuracy than if she’d been doing it on purpose, the rag flew right over Jacks’ shoulder and into Texas’s mouth!

“GKH! HHHHGH!”

Texas choked! She was **** on pit sweat! In desperation she threw her payload up over her head and grabbed her neck, doubling over and heaving until finally-

“HHHORK!”

Texas spat the wretched lump of befouled fabric onto the ground. She immediately started scraping her tongue off, so concerned with the horrid flavor that she’d forgotten about the weight she’d just tossed into the air. One stone came down just to the left of her, then another to the right. Panicking, Texas covered her head and prayed that the stones would miss her and (miraculously) they all did! Unfortunately she forgot about the two flying hams she’d sent skyward as well.

THOOOM!

The Porcine Pair came down in perfect sync, flattening Texas beneath their twin tushes. Crushed into a crater, Texas could do nothing but moan in agony as they ground their rumps back and forth into her smear of a body. Jessie smacked her rump and called back to their cushion:

“Way to blow it, Texas number 1, you totally lost!”

“I dunno, Jessie, I think she’s lookin more like Texas Number 2. Smellin’ like it too, once she gets her consolation prize!” Jane added, then with a grunt,

BLLLLRRRRRPPPPPTTTT! PPRRRRRRPPPPTTT!

Both boar booties fired off together, drowning Texas in a haze of hammy stink. As she suffered in her makeshift dutch oven, the “Real” Texas was left to win the whole shebang.

“And that’s it Citizens, I present to you the REAL Sheriff!” Mayor Vivian said, then quietly added in to the faker, “That means you can drop the weight, sugar.”

“Oh, right! Huhuh, forgot about this.” The Fake said, then casually threw the stones AND Butterscotch into the air!

Luckily for both of the swine sisters, they weren’t too caught up in tormenting Texas to notice the falling horse! They jumped out of the way and the freshly flattened Texas first got a volley of stones laid out on her crushed body. That hurt, but it was nothing compared to–

BOOM!

Butterscotch’s butt came crashing down on top of her, crushing the rocks AND Texas into gravel. At first the mare seemed shocked and confused but after she realized where she was sitting she was much happier for it. She ground her hips back and forth on top of Texas and then let out a few rough farts before pulling herself up and trotting off. The Mayor came to see what was left of the “imposter” (holding her nose as she did,) and what she found delighted her.

“Well now, this faker tried to worm her way into our community, now she’s an immovable part of it!”

Sure enough Texas had somehow been crushed up just like the stones and was now a charming tile-mosaic of herself flattened right into the town square. The “Sheriff’s Square” as it was known became a local landmark. Most tourists thought it was a tribute to their local lawlady, without knowing just how much of a tribute it really was. And so Texas would remain for several centuries as a charming slice of architecture in a historical town that thousands of people tread upon daily. Plus it was a popular place for horse and carriage rides!

Shame they could never seem to keep up cleaning all the horse apples dropped on the mural…