Let’s open up the appendices

After a few moments of watching the knight scurry off you are struck with the compulsion to read some more. You’re sure there must be something interesting in the appendices of this novel: You know, at the back.

Taking your trusty scissors with you, you begin to pursue the noblewoman, who’s speedwalking down the street in the manner of a person who looks like they’re desperately trying to look like they’ve got nothing to hide. It’s a telltale expression you’ve seen a fair number of times on uppity ladies whom you let off with a light warning by merely stealing the underwear from underneath their slightly see-through sundresses. Some of them tended to experience freak updrafts of wind while rushing back home, how peculiar.

Once she’s gotten far enough into a busy street, eyes darting back and forth hoping no-one pays her any mind, you deign it the appropriate time to get to work. You halt the flow of time and approach with scissors in hand, opening up a huge triangle-shaped hole in the back of the knight’s pants to fully expose her entire buttocks. Her underwear still partially obstructs the view however, so you cut that down to size as well, until only a thing strip of cloth is left clenched between her butt cheeks. As a final touch you take out your trusty pen to write ‘slap me!’ and ‘I love spanking’ on either side.