Lauren swallows her pride

Lauren lets out a sigh of relief as she turns off the water. A nice, hot shower had been just what she needed to get her mind off things. She steps out of the shower and towels off. Once she's dry, she wraps the towel around herself and heads back to her room to get dressed. When she gets there, she remembers why she was upset in the first place. There's a faint scent in the air that she recognizes as urine, reminding her of what happened again.

Lauren's eyes lock onto the sheets, which have a yellow discoloration to them. It's as if they're taunting her. She glares at them for a moment before ripping them off her bed to throw out, figuring that the smell would go away with them.

When she returns, a number of large yellow stains of various shades greet her, mocking her. Her face burns as she looks at her feet in shame. These stains are indisputable proof that she has been wetting the bed. Not just once or twice either, but consistently...

"Why is this happening to me," Lauren asks no one in particular. She gets no response. She just stands there in silence for a few moments. Part of her told her that she should at least try to clean up the new spot, but why? What was the point? The bed is already stained to all hell now. What difference would one more stain make? She doesn't care anymore.

While staring at her feet, she catches sight of the diaper bag just out of the corner of her eye and her humiliation returns in full. She had worn that damn diaper for nothing. As humiliating as it had been to do so, she wore it. She wore it! So why didn't it matter that she did? Why did she have to throw away another set of sheets? Why did her bed get yet another pee stain? She was an adult, she wasn't supposed to wet the bed or need to wear diapers to bed. And still, she had worn them - she did what she was supposed to in this situation... so why? Her eyes were starting to water again. She stared at the bag for another moment, clenching her fists. A second later, she kicks it, not even caring when her towel falls off. The bag slams into her nightstand before it hits the ground, spilling diapers all over the floor.

She can't bare to look at them and turns her head away, catching herself again in her vanity mirror. And her insecurity answers her: _Because those diapers are meant for adults... and look at you, you clearly aren't one. _She shakes her head, fighting the tears. "But I am an adult," she tells herself. She slowly approaches her dresser and gets dressed at a snails pace. When she is, she turns to leave her room.

On the way out, she catches sight of the diapers again and swallows a lump in her throat, knowing what she has to do. It hurts her pride to admit it, but she needs to buy diapers that fit. Just for over night use for a little while. Just until whatever is going on with her stops. Because she can't keep going through sheets like this. As it is, she doesn't even know how many spares they have left.