Late Night Investigations

Your first day leaves your mind still reeling, too active for sleep. There’s nothing on the TV. You don’t feel like watching YouTube or porn. Instead, to keep yourself distracted, you decide another dip into the Snetterton Collection makes sense.

First out is a small, stone statuette. It’s a crude approximation of the female form, enough to suggest femininity but with no details. There’s the head, there’s the breasts, there’s the wide hips. The figure appears to be sitting cross-legged on top of a square base. The base itself is split in two, the bottom half can be rotated 90 degrees and when it’s fully rotated it clicks in. In either of its two **** positions it is stable, but between its not. You get the feeling that when the base is turned to the **** right the statuette is on, while when its to the **** left it’s off. There’s no sign why that would be the case. It just feels right.

This particular statuette is the size of your hand, filling your palm, but you know there are two more statuettes like this one in the box. One of them is the same size (around 13cm tall), while the other is bigger (nearly 25cm). You dig in and extract these other two and place them next to the first.

You pick up the antiquarian’s notebook and page through it trying to find what he thought about them. It doesn’t take long to find his notes. Thankfully he’d made a crude sketch of one of them. You work through his writing, transcribing his words into more a readable form.

He called these the Statuettes of Tlachtga, naming them after a relatively obscure Celtic Fertility goddess. According to him these statuettes when turned on increase the libido of any woman in range. He doesn’t specify what the range is, but he states that the two smaller ones have a smaller range than the large one. He also states that the effects of each are cumulative, such that a woman within range of all 3 will have her libido increased threefold.

Sounds like nonsense to you, but then you’d have the same about the bands a couple of weeks ago, and you can’t say that now.

You turn one of the smaller ones on. Nothing happens. You turn it off. No change. No sign from the statuette it was on. You didn’t feel any different. You turn on the big one. Still nothing. There’s no indication in the book about the ranges. Just a comment that it’s measured in feet not miles. As there’s no females in your house, you’re guessing it’s having no effect. The only woman you know nearby is Mrs Peterson, and she’s over 80, so you’re guessing she doesn’t have a libido. You wonder how you can test it.