Labor and Delivery

Julie laughs when she hears your answer. "I have to warn you," she says. "Labor and Delivery is a little kinky. We'll be doing a lot of shaving and enemas on pregnant women."

"Julie," you laugh.

"No, really," she says. "And the sad part is that they won't think it's fun, so we have to treat it like everything is all business." She smiles. "Even if we love every bit of it."

"Why Julie, all this time?" you say. You thought of her as a straight-ahead nurse, diligently focused on patient care and being a patient's first line of defense and advocate against absurd hospital routines, brusque impatient doctors, and neglectful staff.

"Yeah," she says. "The best part of my old job at L&D was being Miss Calm and Kind Efficiency while I got to lay hands on women's naughty bits all day and put rubber hoses up their butts. I loved every minute."

You laugh out loud. "Julie!" you say. "You're pulling my leg. Even at the end of a double shift?"

She smiles and bats her eyelashes at you. "What would you feel like, at the end of a long shift, your legs and back aching, if you had to spend another ten minutes gently sponging a cranky pregnant woman's vulva while she bitches at you?"

You're about to snap back a retort about how nothing feels good at the end of a long shift, and cranky patients are just irritating. Julie's nose wrinkles as she grins at you. You imagine a woman's labia, plump and parted with pregnancy, passing a moist, soothing wipe through them. Your face goes warm.

"I...I'd love it," you say.

Julie nods. "Just so," she says. "You're going to love it, Gloria."

"There'll be bad days," you say.

"There always are," Julie says. "Tiring ones. Tragic ones. And the shifts are better on our old unit. But guess what?"

"What?"

"Part of occupational therapy is teaching women how to use vi-bra-tors!" Julie says.

"I'm going to love it," you say.

"Told you," Julie says.

What's your next move?

• Roll +Cool(+0) to STALK a patient. Maybe someone needs extra help with occupational therapy?
• Describe your first day, then catch up with Julie at the end of the shift. Roll +Cool(+1) (+0 Cool, +1 Submissive) to STALK Julie Paul.
• Tell your husband about your new hospital position and ask for some time together. Roll +Cool(+0) to STALK Vincent. (On a Miss, perhaps Vincent is busy, chat with your daughter Jillian?)